I finally made up my mind to take my father home from the nursing home for the Chinese New Year on the eve of the Chinese New Year. Since my mother passed away, my father has been living alone in a nursing home in another place, and although I call him several times a month, I haven't been back to visit him for several years due to my busy schedule.
Every time I think of my father living there alone, I feel guilty and blame myself. Before his retirement, his father was a pillar of support, working hard and taking care of his family. After retiring, he always wanted to be reunited with our family, but my mother first became seriously ill and later passed away due to an accident, and my only son had been working in other places for a long time, so I had no time to take care of him.
Although the nursing home is nice and the staff is very welcoming, it is not my own home after all. I always felt that my father was very lonely there, and I must have been very homesick. Over the years, his health has deteriorated, and my guilt has become heavier. During this year's Spring Festival, I decided to take him home for the Chinese New Year no matter what, so that he could spend this traditional festival surrounded by his loved ones.
After receiving my call, the staff at the nursing home expressed their pleasure and actively cooperated with my arrangement. Early in the morning on the thirtieth day of the Chinese New Year's Eve, I drove to the small city where the nursing home is located. Along the way, I had a lot of thoughts, looking forward to seeing my father again, but also worrying about his current physical condition.
When I arrived at the nursing home, I was even more apprehensive. Walking through the door, the paramedics led me to my father's room. Pushing open the door, my father was sitting in a wheelchair and staring out the window in a daze. Hearing the movement, he turned around slowly, and when he saw that it was me, a trace of surprise flashed in his eyes, and then a smile appeared that he had not seen in a long time.
"Son, you've finally come to see me. Father's voice was weak and old, but there was some relief in his tone.
I stepped forward and hugged him tightly, choking on his shoulder: "Dad, I'm sorry, I've been too busy all these years to do my duty as a son." From today onwards, I will come to see you often and will never be away for too long. "
Seeing my father's physical condition worse than I thought it would have made me feel even more guilty. His hair was all white, his body was skinny, and his eyes were dull, obviously a double blow of age and loneliness. I couldn't help but redden, and my heart was full of mixed feelings.
On the one hand, I am very happy to finally be reunited with my father again; On the other hand, I am deeply sorry for my negligence and coldness over the years. As an only child, I deserve to care more for and accompany my father than to abandon him in a nursing home. Looking at him so weakly, my heart hurts immensely.
Hearing my father's relief, tears finally welled up in my eyes. Years of longing, guilt and attachment burst out at this moment. I held my father's hand tightly, tears boiling hot: "Dad, I swear that I will be more filial to you in the future and take you home to accompany you." You've been lonely for too long, and you'll never be alone again with me from now on. "
My father didn't say much, just looked at me with kind eyes, and finally a smile on his face that had been rare in several years.
After all the formalities were completed, I carefully helped my father into the car. On the way back, we chatted and laughed as before. Although my father's health deteriorated, his spirit was as good as ever. He gushed interesting stories about my childhood, and his words were full of love for me.
I feel that the joy and warmth of this moment have offset my guilt and regret over the years. As long as my father can be happy, I will be satisfied.
When I got home, I settled my father in his bedroom and prepared a nutritious dinner for him. Watching my father eat with relish, my heart warmed, and I finally felt the happiness and peace that I had not felt for a long time.
After dinner, my father was a little tired, so I helped him to rest on the sofa in the living room. As I sat aside, I had a lot to say to my father. In the past few years, has he missed each other as much as I do? Has he often missed us in the dead of night? Has he ever regretted that he neglected to take care of me when he sent me to work in the field? My heart is full of too many questions and regrets.
My father seemed to see what was on my mind, he took my hand and said solemnly: "Son, life is like this, everyone will inevitably have regrets and shortcomings. The important thing is that now we are still together. You and I have grown up, and we should know how to cherish each other. "
Listening to my father's sincere words, my heart finally felt a little relieved. Yes, let the past pass, the most important thing now is to cherish the last time we have together. I was determined to be more filial to my father in the future and not let him feel lonely again.
At this moment, I suddenly remembered that tomorrow is the first day of the new year, and our family is about to start the New Year! Thinking of this, I was very excited and quickly asked my father: "Dad, what do you want to eat tomorrow?" I will prepare the best Chinese New Year's Eve dinner for you!"
The father smiled and said, "Son, it's fine for you to be at home, and it is my greatest wish to be reunited with you." As long as you're there, you can eat anything. "
Hearing this, my eyes moistened again. After many years, I was finally able to celebrate the New Year with my father! Since I was a child, this has been my greatest wish, and now I can finally realize it. I swear that I must be filial to my father in this life, so that he will no longer feel lonely and lonely.
The kitchen was full of aromas, and I carefully cooked my father's favorite hometown dishes according to my mother's practice before her death. Although the craftsmanship is rusty, I put all my heart and soul into it. By noon, the whole table was already full of all kinds of delicacies, all of which were full of color, flavor and flavor.
I rushed to call my father to dinner, only to find his door tightly closed. I thought he was still sleeping, so I pushed the door open for fear of waking him.
"Dad, lunch is ready, come and try the New Year's dishes I made for you!"
However, when I walked into the room, I was instantly stunned by the sight of me, and the blood all over my body seemed to be coagulated. I saw that my father was still sitting on the edge of the bed last night, leaning forward, his head lowered, and his hands hanging weakly at his sides, motionless.
"Dad, what's wrong with you?" My voice trembled, and an inexplicable fear enveloped me. I ran forward and shook my father's body vigorously, but I couldn't get him to react.
My brain went blank, and my whole body was on fire. There was only one voice in my head repeating: "No, it's impossible! Daddy is going to be fine, he's fine!"
I shook my father's body desperately, slapped his cheek hard, and screamed his name with all my might, tears already blurring my eyes. But no matter what I did, my father never responded, as if he had lost any sign of life.
"No, Dad, don't scare me! Wake up!" I shouted hysterically, tears welling up in my eyes. My hands were shaking, my whole body was weak, my throat was blocked by something, and I couldn't speak.
Just when I was completely desperate, my father suddenly coughed a few times and slowly opened his eyes. When he saw me crying, he looked surprised.
My father patted me on the back weakly, as if trying to comfort me. However, in the next second, his body suddenly went limp, and he collapsed into my arms again, and his head hung limply.
"Dad, what's wrong with you? Dad!" Terrified, I quickly laid my father flat on the bed and tried desperately to check his breathing and heartbeat. However, my father no longer had any vital signs. His eyes, which were always smiling kindly, were now tightly closed, his face was pale, and the corners of his mouth were slightly raised, as if he were smiling at me.
We still have so much to say, and I still have so much to share with my father. But now, my father is gone forever and will never return. I felt like a knife in my heart, and my internal organs were aching. Trembling, I picked up my phone and called the emergency number, choked up in my throat and couldn't speak.
Soon, an ambulance arrived. But when the doctor examined me, he could only shake his head helplessly. My father has been dead for some time and his vital signs are completely gone. He may have died in the middle of the night, but he just remained in that position.
Hearing the bad news, I could no longer control my emotions and wept bitterly, tears soaking my father's sheets. I hugged my father's cold body tightly, heartbroken and remorseful. If I had been more considerate of my father and had spent more time with him, would I not have had this result? If I had taken him home earlier, instead of waiting until the end, would my father not have died so soon? I am full of guilt and self-blame, and I regret my decision immensely.
But what's the use of remorse: my father is gone forever, and I can no longer see his kind face, and I can no longer hear his familiar voice. I could only hug his cold body tightly, tears soaking his clothes, and I couldn't help but die.
I don't know how I got through that long, painful afternoon. Everything was like a nightmare, and I couldn't accept reality at all. How could this old man lying peacefully on the bed in front of me be my dear father? Not long ago, he was still in my arms, weak but warm and strong. But now, he has left me forever, from this world.
I was in great pain, and I felt guilty of my negligence and insolence. If I had been more considerate of my father and had spent more time with him, would not have had such a result? If I had taken my father home earlier, instead of waiting until the end, would my father not have passed away so soon? All kinds of self-blame and regret pierced my heart like a sharp sword, and I was in pain.
I was startled and hurriedly stepped forward to hold his hand, tears welling up in my eyes again. "Dad, you're finally awake! Don't speak, I'll call the doctor!"
My father shook his head, and with all his strength, he held my hand tightly, his eyes firm and solemn.
"Son, Dad knows that his time is running out. Although his voice was weak, it was extremely firm, "In my life, the biggest regret is that I didn't grow up with you well." You've been without a mother since you were a child, and I've always been busy with work and left you alone at home. "
I could no longer hold back the grief in my heart, and tears rained down. "No, Dad, it's all my fault! I'm so selfish, I only care about my own career, and I neglect to take care of you. You have always been a good father, and I have failed your expectations!"
At this point, my father's voice became weaker and weaker, and his breathing became extremely difficult. I was so frightened that I held his hand tightly for fear that he would leave like this.
At this point, my father's voice became completely weak, and his breathing became extremely difficult. I watched as his eyes darkened, and a great fear enveloped me.
"No, Dad, don't leave me! I screamed with all my might, my voice full of despair. But my father's eyes were completely closed, and he was still, only the faint sound of breathing proved that he still had a glimmer of life.
I broke down and cried, tears dripping hot on the back of my father's hand. "Dad, don't leave me alone! You still have so many things to say, we still have so many things to do together! How can you just leave me like this?"
I cried out in pain, my voice hoarse, and my whole body felt like I had been hollowed out alive, helpless and desperate. But no matter how much I pleaded, my father had fallen into a deep coma, and seemed to have drifted away from me.
Just when I was in pain, my father suddenly opened his eyes, and with the last of his strength, he held my hand tightly and stared into my eyes.
After saying these words, my father's body trembled violently, his eyes darkened, and his hand let go of my hand and fell. He left this world forever, away from my side.
I was heartbroken, hugging my father's cold body and crying, and the grief of five thunders enveloped my heart. My father left silently, and there were still too many things to be done between us, and too many words to be said. But it was too late, and I could no longer see his kind face, nor hear his familiar voice.
I gently closed my father's eyes, tears welling up in my eyes again. My father passed away peacefully, by my side. But his voice and smile, his teachings and earnestness will always remain in my heart and become my strength and direction to move forward.