Written by / First Psychology Writers
Editor / Tommy
As Wenzi Shangde says:
"It is better to complain to others than to feel sorry for yourself, and it is better to ask for others than to ask for yourself. ”
Around us, people's behavior patterns often take on two distinct types.
Some people are accustomed to seeking help from others when they are in trouble, and they will seek support from those around them for even the slightest trouble.
On the other hand, people rarely ask for help, and even in the face of great challenges, they are not willing to cause trouble to others, preferring to bear the difficulties themselves in silence.
From a psychological point of view, these latter people usually lack communication with others, are introverted and passive.
It often manifests as a so-called "koala personality" and is afraid of deep interaction with people.
1. "Koala" personality
To explore this question, we need to consider the following two perspectives:
One is those who don't want to be troubled, and the other is those who don't want to trouble others.
Psychologists believe that both types of people exhibit Koala personality traits (i.e., Pace/Patience), which are introverts, do not like to communicate with others, and often appear more passive, lacking intimate social relationships and adequate social support.
Regarding those who are reluctant to bother others, research has shown that it is a potentially dangerous personality
The so-called "Koala" personality usually behaves in a more stable manner, they do not show off their personal achievements, they have a mild temperament, and they do not like to cause trouble or cause disturbances.
They may be mistaken for laziness or lack of motivation in the eyes of others, but once they devote themselves to a task, they will give it their all.
These people tend to shy away when it comes to conflict, and their sensitive nature makes it difficult for them to assert their views in the collective.
2. Lack of self-worth
The lack of self-worth is an important manifestation of psychological imbalance.
Psychologists point out that a sense of self-worth is where a person's fundamental sense of security lies.
If an individual loses their sense of self-worth, they will become unstable and may fall into a vicious cycle of tension, anxiety and panic, resulting in an inability to enjoy the beauty of everyday life.
These people may be able to maintain relationships with those around them on the surface, but in reality, they neglect the cultivation of a sense of self-worth.
This makes them show low self-esteem in interpersonal interactions, need the attention and approval of others deep down, and are extremely sensitive to any negative information from the outside world, and this personality trait does have a certain danger.
In general, this type of person subconsciously has difficulty trusting others, they tend to hide their true feelings,
Interacting with people only on the surface, which makes it difficult for the people around you to truly understand their inner world and true feelings, this state is undoubtedly risky.
Research conducted by psychologist Henderson in 1939 revealed a profound insight:
An individual's childhood experiences are able to affect their gene expression, activate or inhibit specific genes, and cause changes in brain chemistry.
Studies have found that some people exhibit abnormalities in the language and emotion processing areas of the brain, and they are unable to gain rich life experiences through relationships like others.
As a result, their emotional expression is more of an external "form" to manipulate the environment than a real emotional response.
These people often need to feel their existence through intense experiences and often express themselves through actions rather than words, and they often lack basic dependence on others.
Koala personalities often exhibit a sense of omnipotence during the transition period between adolescence and adulthood, and are not adept at refusing requests from others.
Even if someone asks something they don't feel comfortable with, they may accede against their will and do what they don't want to do.
In Verena Kast's book Overcoming Anxiety, she points out the effects of early parent-child relationships on babies:
"We believe that love and attention must be shown to babies under 6 months of age so that they feel comfortable and develop well. If your child is upset and noisy because he or she receives too little attention, but the person close to him does not provide appropriate comfort, it will gradually weaken the child's confidence. ”
Studies have also found that children between the ages of two and three years who are separated from their primary caregiver for more than two weeks can cause long-term, irreversible psychological damage.
The effects of this early experience manifest themselves in adulthood as difficulty communicating with others about their true feelings. Regardless of the external difficulties they encounter, they are more inclined to bear them alone rather than ask for help, often trying to solve problems in solitude.
For those with a koala-type personality, they suppress their emotions for a long time, such as anxiety and anger, and these pent-up emotions can eventually explode at a certain trigger point, causing serious harm to themselves and others.
To take an extreme example,
At the end of August 2018, a case of killing his wife and hiding her body in Shanghai was decided by the court.
The suspect, Zhu Xiaodong, strangled his wife Yang Liping with both hands after an argument with her in October 2016, and instead of calling the police, he hid his body in the freezer at home.
As can be seen from this incident, individuals with such personality traits are extremely high in terms of psychological safety.
The End -
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Keywords in this article: Koala personality, psychology
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