#头条创作挑战赛#
Author: Sugar Candy (Rich Book Author)
On Zhihu, some people are asking: "How can a person be truly mature?"
A highly praised answer goes something like this: "A truly mature person is able to accept the imperfections of life, and is able to hold his breath and keep his mouth shut." ”
When I was young, I always wanted to tell the world about my ideas and longed to be recognized;
When encountering problems, I always want to argue with others about right and wrong, confide in people everywhere, and even want to discuss some reasoning.
When you reach a certain age, you realize that a person's life is a process of constantly refining his mind and gradually growing up.
Modern writer Yang Jiang once said: "When you reach a certain age, you will eventually ignore and explain." ”
When people reach a certain age, they have to learn to be silent. Learning to be silent is the true maturity of a person.
When misunderstood, do not excuse yourself
Lin Yutang once said: "It is better to defend with a voice than to defend with a voice." It is better to argue with words than to argue without words. ”
When we were young, when we were misunderstood, we were always anxious to find someone to talk to, argue for ourselves, and clarify ourselves.
As I grow older, I gradually understand that the words of the outside world have nothing to do with me, and not to defend is the wisest thing for a truly mature person to do.
Netizen @小瑞 shared a story about her in the workplace.
After graduating from university, she joined a large enterprise as a salesman, and after two years of precipitation, she became a sales manager.
Due to his outstanding performance, he was highly valued by the leaders and was exceptionally promoted to serve as the acting sales director of a region.
Soon after she arrived at her new position, the head office assigned her a bidding task and asked her to keep the bidding secret.
But a few days later, the company withdrew from the mission, and there were rumors within the company that the bottom of the bid may have been leaked.
For a moment, everyone suspected that Xiaorui had leaked the company's hole cards, her colleagues talked about her, and her subordinates treated her coldly.
But Xiaorui did not make any excuses for himself, nor did he go to the general manager to make any arguments for himself.
On the contrary, she cheered up every day, went out early and returned late to visit customers, and opened up sales channels one by one, which added a lot of benefits to the company.
One day three months later, the company's top management held a personnel change meeting and issued a formal appointment letter to Xiaorui - as regional sales director.
It turned out that the previous incident was a test of her stress resistance and endurance by the company, and Xiaorui withstood this test.
There is a proverb that says: "Right and wrong are distinguished from suffering, and the sun and the moon are distinguished." ”
In the face of being questioned, it is easier to get yourself into a predicament and make people laugh, on the contrary, it is wise to remain silent without justification, because with the passage of time, the truth will always surface.
People who live for a lifetime will inevitably have the experience of being misunderstood, and truly mature people are often able not to argue about the honor and disgrace in front of them, not to care about the opinions of others, to follow their own hearts, to remain silent, to shield from external interference, to focus on themselves, and to achieve themselves.
When you are at a low point, don't complain
In the book "I Wish You Like Yourself", there is such a sentence:
"There will be a dark tunnel in everyone's life, short or long, but don't be afraid, as long as you keep going, there will always be light ahead. ”
In the journey of life, there will be too many ups and downs, when you are at a low point, blindly looking for others to complain can only fall into the cycle of negative energy and cannot extricate yourself.
I saw such a story on the Internet.
Xiao Yang is from the countryside, his father is suffering from old diseases and has been taking medicine all year round, and after graduation, in order to earn more money, he went to Guangzhou to work hard.
When I first entered the workplace, it was difficult to find a job, and I finally found a job, and I was under a lot of pressure, and I had to work overtime until late every day, and I often didn't take care of eating.
Finally, it was time to turn into a regular, and the department leader talked to him, saying that he lacked ability in all aspects and wanted to reduce his salary, Xiao Yang was helpless, but he thought that the rent was about to be paid, living expenses, and his father still needed medical expenses...... had to endure the grievances, and at this time, his girlfriend, who had been with him for four years, felt that Xiao Yang's conditions were not good, and broke up with him.
In an instant, Xiao Yang felt that his life had fallen into a trough, very painful, he wanted to complain to his brother, but he couldn't bear to be disturbed by the photos of his friends going out on a trip.
In order to improve his ability, he seized all the opportunities to learn, and he did all the work that others were unwilling to take, in order to reduce the burden on the family, he would use the rest time to do part-time work, and also sign up for classes to learn other skills.
Three years later, Xiao Yang has accumulated a certain amount of experience and ability, and a headhunter has poached him to another company, and his salary has quadrupled.
Kazuo Inamori once said: "When you are so stressed that you are about to collapse, don't tell anyone, don't feel wronged, your heart can be broken, but your hands can't stop, and you can move forward in the collapse, which is the most important cultivation that an adult should have." ”
When you are in a deep trough, it is useless to complain to others, and you may be treated coldly by others except for a little sympathy.
Truly mature people have already learned to swallow the bitterness in their stomachs, transform hardship into the strength of prospects, silently strive to accumulate energy, and wait for the day when they will accumulate and welcome a new chapter in their lives.
When the situation is different, it is not explained
Haruki Murakami said, "Not all fish live in the same sea. ”
Everyone grows up in a different environment and has different circumstances, so it is natural to have different feelings in the face of different events, but in the face of not being understood, mature people have long learned not to explain, because the circumstances are different, the feelings are different, and it is useless to say too much.
Blogger @小王 shared a story about his cousin.
My cousin was born in a rural area, but after graduating from university, he stayed in the city and worked as a math teacher in an elementary school.
For a child from the countryside, being able to get this job smoothly after graduation is the envy of everyone around him.
But after working for more than five years, my cousin felt that this job had made him lose his motivation, and he wanted to go out to start a business and see the outside world, so he proposed to the school leaders to resign.
When his colleagues heard this, they were very surprised by his cousin's decision and persuaded him: "Teacher is a stable job, how can you quit so easily? ”
After his parents and relatives learned about it, they also advised his cousin not to resign impulsively, and if he felt too tired, he could apply for a vacation to travel and relax, and even persuaded him to go to the hospital for a physical examination.
But my cousin didn't explain too much, because he thought that the times are developing, people can't blindly pursue stability, people should come out of the past way of thinking, and the thinking of the people around him is still stuck in the past, he said that no matter how much he wants, it is useless.
Haruki Murakami once said, "What you can't understand without explanation, you can't understand even if you explain it." ”
Because of their different life backgrounds, everyone looks at problems from different angles.
Blindly trying to ask for other people's understanding, and explaining too much will only make you tired.
Life is short, and a truly mature person often does not cling to the understanding of others, but walks with his head down, remains silent, takes time to do more valuable things, and lives his life quietly.
The book "Sand and Foam" says this: "While the waves of words are always loud above us, our depths are always silent." ”
Silence is a philosophy that keeps us at peace and free from outside interference.
A truly mature person:
When misunderstood, there is no rush to justify;
When you are at a low point, you will not complain everywhere;
When the situation is different, it doesn't explain much.
From beginning to end, keep your heart firm and be brave enough to live your life.
When you reach a certain age, may you learn to be silent, say less unnecessary words, and cultivate into a person with a mature core.
作者简介：糖糖，富书作者，爱阅读，笔尖治愈心灵，一个人要想成功，你都需要一种能力来支撑你做好自己，不被阻挠，不被诱惑，这就是屏蔽力，富书第4本新书《屏蔽力》正在热销中，你的生活，需要屏蔽力，本文：富书，本文版权归富书所有，未经授权，不得转载，侵权必究