Recently, the video of the Peking University professor being interviewed by Phoenix.com became popular on the Internet. Peking University professor Hu Yong is only in his 50s and is at the peak of his career, but his 85-year-old mother suffers from Alzheimer's disease, so Hu Yong has to return to his family and become a 24-hour caregiver.
Under the entanglement of the disease, the mother could not even recognize her son, and she could not take care of herself. Hu Yong has to pick up feces and urine for his mother on time every day. In this way, a Peking University professor is trapped in, pee, and fart, but as everyone knows, there are still 44 million disabled elderly people in the country, and their caregivers are experiencing the same predicament as Hu Yong.
Peking University professor Hu Yong is only in his 50s this year, and he has a very well-known name in the Internet and new media communication circles, and he can be regarded as a middle-aged man with a successful career.
When he was young, Hu Yong was fighting for his career and got married late. He has only one daughter, who is still a minor, and has an 85-year-old mother. According to Hu Yong himself, he is a typical "sandwich generation".
Hu Yong is the youngest child in the family, and he also has an older brother and an older sister. My father was 12 years older than my mother, but my father was always in good health. Before 2020, my father and mother lived in an old community in Beijing, where my mother could cook and wash for my father, and the old couple would usually go out shopping and buy groceries together, and their lives were very comfortable.
During the 2021 New Year, three children spent the New Year with their parents. At this time, the children found that their mother's memory was a little vague and she often talked nonsense. At this time, the well-informed Hu Yong realized that his mother might be suffering from Alzheimer's disease.
In March 2021, Hu Yong took his mother to the Sixth Hospital in Beijing. In the neurology office, the 82-year-old mother was eventually diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease.
Hu Yong's mother
After knowing the news, Hu Yong's heart still suffered a huge shock. His biggest fear at the time was that his mother didn't know him.
Alzheimer's disease is a degenerative condition of the central nervous system that occurs mainly in old age or pre-senile times. The main features of the disease include progressive cognitive impairment and behavioral impairment. In fact, it is also known as Alzheimer's disease, the patient's IQ gradually degenerates, and finally becomes a child's IQ.
At present, there is no medical treatment for the disease, or even slow down the progression of the disease.
After learning that his mother was suffering from this disease, Hu Yong called his brothers and sisters, and the three of them discussed together to send their parents to a nursing home. After all, the three of them have their own families, and no one can find time to accompany their parents 24 hours a day.
In the end, the three of them found a good nursing home near the second ring road in Beijing, which introduced advanced Japanese nursing home management concepts and was in very good condition.
Then, the three brothers returned to their parents' house, and after discussing with their parents, the 94-year-old father was very accessible, although he was old, he was sober-minded, and he did not want to burden the children, and expressed his willingness to go to a nursing home.
But the 82-year-old mother was reluctant, and although the mother was already ill at the time, she still knew something. She insisted on not going to a nursing home, and thought that she could cook and do laundry, and that she could not only take care of herself, but also take care of her wife and children.
After being rejected by his mother, Hu Yong never thought about sending his mother to a nursing home.
But what Hu Yong couldn't figure out was that his mother's disease progressed so fast, in less than half a year, his mother couldn't recognize the family anymore, and when she saw Hu Yong, sometimes she called her eldest son's name, and sometimes she simply called her brother.
In the case of no choice, Hu Yong had to hire a female nanny at a high price, and she would take care of her parents. Even so, Hu Yong insisted on visiting his parents at their residence every day after work.
In 2022, when the national epidemic was severe, Hu Yong also taught students online at home. In order to prevent his parents from being infected with the new coronavirus, Hu Yong fired his nanny and began to take care of his parents by himself.
Only then did Hu Yong realize the difficulty of caring for a patient with Alzheimer's disease. At that time, my mother couldn't recognize Hu Yong at all, she couldn't eat, drink, or sleep, she couldn't even walk, and she needed to lie in a wheelchair.
When cooking for his mother every day, Hu Yong needs to break the food, and when the rice is cooked, he has to put a pocket on his mother and feed his mother bite by bite.
What made Hu Yong suffer the most was to clean up his mother's feces and urine. Because her mother couldn't take care of herself, Hu Yong had to run to her mother every few hours to ask. But this time is often irregular, and if you are not careful, the mother will pee on the pants, or pull up on the pants.
In that case, Hu Yong had to take off his mother's dirty pants and clean up his mother's feces and urine. But at this time, my mother still didn't cooperate at all, and even sometimes played with and phlegm, and threw everywhere.
For Hu Yong, he has to deal with feces and urine for his mother almost every day, and his mother usually can't go out, so she wanders around the bedrooms at home. If you go to this bedroom in the morning, you may be able to go to another bedroom in the afternoon. So the whole house is filled with the smell of feces and urine, and few outsiders come here.
Almost every day, Hu Yong had to bathe his mother, and the gender difference made it difficult for Hu Yong to accept at first. But he also knew that there was no way, and he had to face it. Fortunately, my mother was unconscious, and she did not have any shame after the illness. On the contrary, when Hu Yong bathed his father, who was in his 90s, his father would even ask him to wash it and let Hu Yong not go into the bathroom.
Alzheimer's patients have reversed day and night, and Hu Yong's mother often doesn't sleep at night. Once, at one o'clock in the middle of the night, Hu Yong, who was asleep, suddenly heard a loud noise, he was frightened, and hurriedly ran to his mother's room.
At this time, he found that his mother had ripped the toilet paper on the floor and pulled out all the folded clothes in the cabinet. The loud bang was the sound of the mother smashing an ornament to the floor.
This made Hu Yong very angry, he had a big quarrel with his mother, and said to his mother: Do you know how tired I am to take care of you?
But my mother said, "Who made you tired?" Who told you to take care of it?
Hu Yong: I don't take care of you, who takes care of you? Mother: I'm sorry for you?
Hu Yong instantly realized that he shouldn't quarrel with his mother, and his mother couldn't figure out the right and wrong after the illness, so even if she complained, she could only digest it by herself.
Then Hu Yong had to comfort his mother to rest, and then slowly folded the clothes scattered on the ground and put them in the cabinet
During that time, Hu Yong stayed with his parents, and for Hu Yong, he seemed to be stuck in the automatic program of changing diapers, wiping feces and urine, taking a bath, washing bed sheets, and cooking.
It's hard to imagine that a Peking University professor is trapped in and pee like this. Although the words are ugly, for Hu Yong, he doesn't seem to have a better way.
In September 2023, Hu Yong's 96-year-old father was diagnosed with bile duct cancer, and his father's originally good body quickly lost weight in a short period of time. Because there was no better cure, the three children and their father had no choice but to face death.
Before dying, my father called his three children, and he wrote a will of his own, describing his life's achievements and regrets. He also told his children not to grieve after his death and not to engage in any mourning activities. Then he took his wife's hand and said, "Thank you for this life, I haven't done well enough, I'm sorry for you." ”
But how can the sick mother know what life and death are? She also said to her son Hu Yong vigorously: "You see the old man, his clothes are not buttoned properly, is it cold?"
In mid-October 2023, Hu Yong's father passed away at the age of 96. Even though his father was dying, Hu Yong was still very painful. Even my mother often asked where the old man who was sitting on the couch watching TV had gone. Where did the old man who had fallen asleep before in my bed go.
At this time, Hu Yong will say that his father has gone to another place, and his mother will say, will it be cold where he goes?
After his father's death, Hu Yong hired a nanny again. Knowing that his mother was difficult to serve, Hu Yong also offered a high salary to the nanny.
Mother and babysitter
But in fact, many times, mothers don't want to trust the babysitter. For example, when she went to the toilet, the nanny asked her if she wanted to go to the toilet, and she always didn't say. And when Hu Yong asked, she would answer.
Hu Yong also often takes her underage daughter to visit her grandmother, and her granddaughter, who was once raised by her grandmother, has a deep affection for her grandmother, but now after meeting, her grandmother can't recognize herself, and even her granddaughter doesn't know that the old man in front of her is still not her grandmother.
She would also say to her father Hu Yong: Grandma's brain is like being eaten by insects.
On April 12, 2024, an article "When a Peking University Professor Becomes a 24-Hour Caregiver" went viral on the Internet, in which Peking University professor Hu Yong narrated himself, telling his experience as a caregiver and analyzing the current social situation.
Hu Yong
In Hu Yong's eyes, today's world is made for young people.
Anything is simple for young people. But it is very difficult for the elderly, when going out to shop, many places do not even accept cash, many places need to brush their faces, scan QR codes, for many elderly people who can't even use smartphones or even don't have a kind of survival barrier.
According to incomplete statistics, there are about 44 million disabled elderly people in the country, who have either lost their intelligence or lost their ability to take care of themselves. Every disabled elderly person has one or two caregivers behind them, and for the caregivers, they are facing a lot of pressure. It is not only the moral aspect that tests them, but sometimes even their endurance.
According to statistics, the average age of the elderly is four years, but there are 15% of the caregivers who take care of their elderly parents for more than 10 years, for these caregivers, they need to be with their parents 24 hours a day, and they have been busy changing diapers, wiping feces and urine, bathing, washing sheets, and cooking for decades.
Therefore, there are 44 million disabled elderly people, and 44 million people are trapped in and urine like Hu Yong.