Xu Yajun's eldest daughter, Xu Xiwen, has now been admitted to the University of Southern California and the University of California, Berkeley. In other words, Xu Xiwen is ready to study abroad, and Xiao S is also very excited when she shares that her daughter was admitted to a foreign university. Everyone even thinks that Xiao S is willing to work hard, or that he does not divorce in marriage, and finally really achieves the healthy growth of his daughter Xu Xiwen.
However, some people sympathize with Xu Xiwen because of this, and feel that Xu Xiwen's college is a very private matter, or a very personal matter, Xiao S makes people envious, and makes people feel that they have paid a lot for their daughter, so they make Xu Xiwen's next itinerary public, and it seems that he regards his daughter's achievements as his own medal.
Jia Jingwen, who is also a daughter who went to study abroad, will not consume Wutong Mei to be admitted to any foreign university, but let Wutong Mei go to college in a low-key manner without being disturbed by others. Let's take a detailed look at Xu Xiwen's sympathetic side, maybe you really don't want to show off your child's achievements as your own achievements in the future, the child's is the child's, not yours, and your praised achievements will put the child under great pressure.
First, Xu Xiwen can't keep a low profile, he must treat his academic performance as a small S medal to earn face for his mother
In fact, if you look carefully at Xiao S's promotion of Xu Xiwen's academic performance, it is not how congratulatory she is to her daughter, but nothing more than to say to the public in a high-profile manner how smart her daughter is and how high the grades of the daughter she has cultivated. is that Xiao S himself has to have his daughter Xu Xiwen be high-profile and earn face for himself.
Therefore, Xu Xiwen is only admitted to the university now, and he has to be watched by everyone in a high-profile manner. But learning doesn't mean that if you have good grades now, your future grades will be good. Or if you have a good academic performance, your future employment will be very good. It is a person who publicly publicizes the achievements of a certain stage, and other achievements in the future also need to be said publicly.
Second, Xu Xiwen is under a lot of pressure in the future, and he is always faced with whether the things he does can be praised by his mother
To a certain extent, Xu Xiwen is now under heavy pressure, and he can't slack off. I have to do everything, think about how to achieve results, so as to meet my mother's praise. To put it bluntly, Xiao S's behavior of showing off the child's temporary behavior, or temporary success, is actually not a very good move to motivate the child.
In case Xu Xiwen fails the exam this time, or fails to do a good job in one thing in her life, she probably feels that she has embarrassed her mother. They may even doubt their own worth because of this. Therefore, parents and friends, educating children, in fact, should not boast about one or two achievements, but more importantly, affirm the child's own value.
Let the child know that his learning is the icing on the cake, if he does not study well, your value will not be reduced, and focus on cultivating the child's absolute self-confidence from an early age, rather than once or twice the test score, so that the child mistakenly thinks that his good grades are worth high, and the value of low grades is very low.
Third, Xu Xiwen is not as lucky as Wutong Mei, and she can't study and live in a low-key manner
From the perspective of praising children, Xiao S herself is not as good at raising children as Alyssa Jia, and Xu Xiwen herself is not as lucky as Wutong Mei. Alyssa Jia also has an eldest daughter studying in the United States, but Alyssa Jia will not disclose her children's school and children's majors, so that her children can study abroad in a low-key manner.
Avoid your child from being overly concerned by others, lest your child feel that he or she is worthy of his mother's love if he has good grades.
To sum up, Xiao S's love for his daughter seems to be conditional, with good grades and high IQ, which will make the child feel that he is not unconditionally accepted by his mother, his grades are poor, and if he does not do well, his mother will not love him, and this kind of parenting style is easy to make children feel inferior. Alyssa Jia's kind, no matter how you are, I love you, will make children think that I do a good job is the icing on the cake, and if I can't do well, my parents will never abandon me, and my future life will be more calm and calm.