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<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > introduction</h1>
Everyone always has more friends of the same age in life.
This is especially evident in the child's world.
Children and adults look at many problems from different angles and three views are completely different, so what is the thinking structure of adults and children looking at problems?
< h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > movie "Where Is My Friend's Home"</h1>
In a small mountain village in distant Iran, the male protagonist was scolded by the teacher's parents for not turning in his homework, and the teacher even gave him an ultimatum: if he did not turn in his homework next time, then he would not go to school.
However, as a friend at the same table, he mistakenly brought the hero's homework book home, and in order not to let his friends not learn, he asked his mother and grandfather to help, but they all failed.
Later, the child, completely unaware of the male protagonist's home address, crossed several mountains and rivers at all costs, during which he was injured several times and lost several times, but finally succeeded in delivering the life-saving courier.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" >, an analysis of the perspectives of adult teachers and children in the movie</h1>
1. Adults have a low fault tolerance rate for things
The advantages and disadvantages of adult teachers are vividly expressed in the movie, in the movie, the teacher understands very well that his students do not turn in their homework many times, then their class performance is definitely not good, and then their class performance will be bad, they will definitely be reprimanded by their superiors, or they may lose their jobs, so the teacher will expel the male protagonist from the class to threaten.
In fact, because the teacher is an adult, he has a low fault tolerance rate for many people for many things, and he is afraid that because he does not interfere and his classmates do not turn in their homework, they will directly destroy their careers.
In addition, in the eyes of parents, it is the same, helping others to send homework books, in case you lose your own sins, is not it big?
2. The child's heart is flexible and tolerant
From the perspective of the child in the film, we will find that the child's heart is more tolerant.
The child is just the male protagonist's table, it seems that there is no obligation to help each other, strictly speaking, there is no obligation to help him, but the child is not limited to those rules, and what he thinks in his heart is actually to help the other party complete the task of sending homework books.
He doesn't care so much uncertainty and the rules of responsibility transfer, anyway, as long as he gets things done.
Children are not as complicated and rigid as adults think when dealing with problems.
3. Adults attach importance to rules and children attach importance to feelings
Here it is not difficult for us to find that when the adults in the movie are thinking about problems, there are always some rules and regulations in their hearts that restrict themselves, restrict themselves from helping others, and restrict themselves from doing good things.
And the child does not have these invisible rules and regulations in his heart. Children only value the love between themselves and their classmates at the same table.
These adult rules and regulations, which are typical of coldness and fear, can also be called "adult rules", which is also the object of our next focus.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > second, the cause of the formation of the "adult rule"</h1>
1, people's emotional thinking is very complicated
This is determined by the inherent growth thinking of adults, and most people will have such thinking at a certain age.
In the adult world, the feelings between people are not as innocent as those between children, and often a superficial relationship is mixed with many different emotions.
But for children, friendship is friendship, and family affection is family affection.
But in the eyes of adults, friendship may not be love, and people who are good to themselves may harm themselves.
This is the emotional thinking that adults naturally form, and gradually become the atmosphere of the whole society, and then react to adults.
2. The tendency of indifference between interpersonal relationships
In fact, in the adult world, the reason why they will form this kind of adult rule is largely forced.
Yes, the formation of adult rules is also very helpless to a certain extent.
With the rapid development of society, but also brought about many emotional and spiritual problems, people in the face of mechanical matter is gradually frozen in the heart, the most important things in the world are mobile phones, computers, work these relatively mechanical material things, and people's feelings for interpersonal communication are not so important.
Like the teacher in the movie, in front of the teacher-student relationship, he also dares to warn his students not to turn in their homework and not to let them go to class, which is a kind of robot indifference.
3. Adults' absolute interest-oriented thinking
However, there is one factor that is completely out of adults, and that is the absolute interest-oriented thinking in adults.
This kind of thinking may have a certain role in the short term, but in the long run and deep sense, the disadvantages outweigh the benefits.
But, in fact, most people in this world have this kind of thinking.
Today's hard work is so that you can live, and today's aggression against others is so that you can survive and live to get more benefits.
Teachers fire students for fear of their own merits, and test takers expose cheating in order to crowd out their competitors...
In their eyes, there are only eternal interests, not eternal feelings. Anything can be explained by the economic set, as long as there is a judgment that there is interest, do it, and do not do it without interest.
Is this a social regression or a pathetic human heart?
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" >3, back to the original intention, how to look at the "pros and cons"? </h1>
The Analects emphasize: Only by taking the middle way in everything can we accomplish things.
1. How adults should view the "pros and cons"
1) Link the pros and cons with the risks
In fact, adults do not have to be overwhelmed by absolute profit-oriented thinking in many ways, or they do not have to behave so explicitly.
For example, when you decide whether to do something or not to do it, you can judge whether the risk is big, whether it is big or not, and what is small.
Because adults consider the pros and cons, a specific parameter needs to be introduced, and it is best for both parties to be convinced.
Risk is a good choice.
For example, when a friend asks you for help, if you say, "What good am I doing to help you?" "Then you'll lose friends immediately.
But if you express it like this, "Well, the risk may not be easy to control, and I may not be very competent." "
Does this make it seem that your consideration of the pros and cons is less materialistic?
2) Incorporate flexible emotional elements
There is also an irrigation of feelings between adults.
When adults look at things, they must not only look at things mechanically driven by profits, but also need to integrate a little human touch.
Because the rules are dead, people are alive, people who refuse to integrate into emotional considerations and stick to the rules in everything, people who are not willing to be flexible and flexible are also annoying people.
3) Take practical actions to solve problems
Although many adults seem to be particularly analytical on the surface, they often "do not accomplish enough, and there are more than enough failures." "
Because they think too much, too conceited.
If you encounter something that needs to be analyzed the pros and cons the next time, you may wish to try to do it first, and then judge.
2. How children should view the "pros and cons"
1) Don't let adults affect their "pros and cons" too much
The child is a blank piece of paper, it is easy to be affected by adults, if the adults around the child are humane people, even if it is not, the most afraid is not.
If the adults around the child, such as their own parents, are the ones who mechanically analyze the pros and cons of the problem, then the child will inevitably become a person who looks at the problem mechanically and inhumanely.
Children should have their own thoughts and dare to question their parents' things.
2) Care about the pros and cons of the result rather than just seeking the pros and cons of the result
Many children, who only value the result and do not value the process, end up with nothing.
Although the result is more important than the process, if you only pursue the result, you will be in a hurry to make a quick profit, and you will not even touch the edge of the result.
Therefore, when children do things, they should pay attention to the quality of their own work in the process.
3) Gradually learn dialectical thinking
The philosophical definition of contradiction is that there are two sides to a contradiction, and that these two sides are completely mutually exclusive and opposite.
Children should also learn a little dialectic thinking, realizing that everything has two sides, good and bad.
For example, if you pick up 1 million, the advantage is that you can now live the life you like, but the disadvantage is that it will suppress the possibility of you breaking through yourself.
In summary, there are many reasons for the formation of "adult rules", mainly including the natural thinking development of adults, the indifference of society and the drive of self-interest.
Therefore, when children and adults look at the pros and cons of things, they must learn how to look at and deal with them correctly, without making others chill.
< h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > concluding remarks</h1>
In this world, there is a reason for the adult rules of adult perspective, but it is far from our ideal of a good interpersonal society.
We must break through from the status quo and introduce the innocence of children without losing the effect of good and accurate.
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