Writer: Easter Egg Dad
Although, when we raise a child, we don't expect the child to be able to provide for us in the future.
But who wants to have a "unkind" child?
There is an elderly couple in the community who are over 60 years old, and the old wife has had a stroke for 2 years and has been taken care of by the old man.
It's just that the house leak happened to rain overnight, and the old man was sick some time ago, and he didn't know when he had a high fever, or the old wife called the property with half of his movable body, and the old man was able to enter the hospital.
Why call the property instead of 120?
Because, no one accompanied the old man to the hospital, so he could only ask the property to come over to help, and the property also had some understanding of the situation of the old couple.
The old couple actually had an excellent son, and they spent all their family wealth back then, just for their son to study abroad and have a good future.
When the son was employed in a large foreign company and married a foreigner's daughter-in-law, the old couple was very happy, and even got a visa and prepared their luggage, but the son didn't even let the old couple attend the wedding held abroad on the grounds that "you can't speak English when you come".
Now the grandchildren are quite old, but the old couple have never seen each other, except for the video.
And the video call has also changed from a few times a year to only once a year or two.
Even though he knew that the old mother had a stroke, the son did not come back, but only said: "Dad, you take good care of Mom." ”
For their son, the old couple no longer counts on it.
The old couple cried: The son was very indifferent when he was a child, thinking that the child would know when he grew up, or he would know his parents' difficulties when he became a parent. It's just that it's still so "unkind".
Most of the children who are "unkind" have two characteristics
When they grow up, most of the children who are "unkind" will have these two characteristics when they are young.
Characteristic 1: Too "rational"
The characteristics of this point are still relatively obvious.
As parents, we always hope that our children can be rational and calm when encountering things, instead of babbling.
It's just that if a child encounters something and has been treating it so calmly and rationally, in fact, it is not a good thing.
For example, in a fairy tale, the lambs were eaten by the big bad wolf, and then the father and mother of the sheep cut open the belly of the big bad wolf, rescued the lamb, and sewed the belly, and finally, the big bad wolf went to the river to drink water and drowned.
Children with unbridled imagination may have a sequel to this story, or fill in the details of this story;
Caring children will sympathize with the lamb and hate the big bad wolf in the first half of the story, after all, "sympathy for the weak" is the "standard" of kindness.
However, children who are too rational will feel that such a story is very unreasonable.
For example, it is too normal for the big bad wolf to eat lambs, this is the world of the jungle;
For example, the father and mother of the sheep will be eaten by the big bad wolf when they have not yet cut open the belly of the big bad wolf, because the big bad wolf is very alert.
These analyses are good.
But psychologically speaking, preschool children are still in the "animistic period", they will think that these stories have "life", such an overly rational analysis, existing in adults and older children, this kind of young children are so rational, it is really a bit abnormal.
The story is like that, and so is life.
Children who are too rational seem to be very sensible, but the fact is that children lack the innocence and childishness that they should have at this age, as well as emotions, and it is easy to be an overly rational person when they grow up, and they have no feelings at all.
Feature 2: Daily "self-interest"
As the saying goes: people don't die for themselves.
We need to live for ourselves, and we want our children to be able to live their own lives.
However, children who are too "self-interested" are no longer just living their own lives, but are not allowed to exist in other ways.
The old couple recalled everything they had done to their son:
I am reluctant to spend 1 penny, but I will provide my son with various expensive interest classes;
I was reluctant to buy a new dress, but my son wanted to buy brand-name shoes, so he bought them;
I was reluctant to eat a piece of meat, but my son kept ...... fish and shrimp at every meal
From the old man's crying, it is not difficult to feel that the old couple's love for their children is overflowing.
However, one thing can also be seen behind every sentence of the old couple: children have never been grateful for their parents' giving, nor have they ever thought of giving back.
In the eyes of parents, sometimes only the child is satisfied and happy.
However, have you ever paid attention to whether there is a parent's difficulty in the eyes of the child, and whether there is love for the parents?
Even now, when the material conditions are abundant, it is easier for parents to meet the material conditions of their children, and they no longer have to search so much.
However, such doting is not advisable after all.
Children who are self-interested in daily life always think about their own interests at the moment, and when they grow up, their parents are like tools, old and can be discarded.
They are unkind, and they don't love their parents and don't know how to be grateful.
The child has the above characteristics, and it is still too late to correct it as soon as possible
Some of the children's "lack of affection" is due to nature, and some are due to the influence of the acquired family environment and family education.
But either way, it's still too late to correct it as soon as possible.
First of all, have more spiritual companionship
How many parents are just next to them when they are with their children, but their minds are on their phones?
This kind of non-spiritual companionship cannot make the child have attachment to you, and it should be cold, continue to be cold.
Because, the child's heart is not warmed.
In fact, it is not so difficult to accompany children.
You just need to put down your phone and play with your child.
You just need to let go of your stubborn thoughts and understand your child from your child's point of view.
All you need to do is put down your face and be friends with your child.
In many cases, spiritual companionship can not only establish a good parent-child relationship, but also find out the problems existing in the child's heart, answer questions for the child, guide the child's healthy growth, and let the child's heart be truly full of sunshine and dispel the coldness.
Secondly, establish a "two-way love rush" with children
Love is not given unilaterally by parents, but should be a two-way street.
Such a two-way love is the constant contact between parents and children, so that children can stay away from the cold.
How to build a "two-way" love?
Parents must first learn to love themselves, and then learn to love their children.
For example, in the case of a steak, parents don't just watch their children eat it, saying they don't like it.
Instead, you should share the food with your children, and then share the taste of your harvest with your children, so that your children can also know their parents' preferences.
For example, when you come back from a business trip, you don't have to endure the discomfort to prepare a good dinner for your child.
Instead, you should tell your child truthfully that he is a little tired, and whether he can have a light meal. If you want to be hearty, you can figure it out yourself.
The two-way rush between parents and children is to care about their children's feelings, love and understand their children.
In the same way, it is also the child who understands and cares about his parents, so that he loves his parents more.
Children who grow up in "two-way love" will love themselves and others, and they will be full of love in their hearts, and they will really be very happy!
Topic discussion: How much do your children love you?