At present, it is the season of "kindergarten to primary school" and "primary school to junior high school", and parents are running for their children to find suitable and high-quality schools. However, in the view of Mi Ying, the principal of Shanghai Special Grade and the principal of Huishi Primary School, the best "gift" that parents give to their children in the process of growing up is actually high-quality companionship.
"Pedagogy is really relational. That is, the quality of the companionship is high, and the child cannot be bad. Recently, at the lecture of "Special Principal Lectures" in Xuhui District, Mi Ying shared her observations and insights in the past 30 years of teaching. She said that from many families she has contacted, she has found that in order to cultivate outstanding children, parents should perhaps master three "more" success secrets, that is, a little more communication, a little more hands, and a little more persistence -
Everything grows up regularly, and students are the same, we must follow the laws of children's growth to guide and educate them. What do children really need? It is a safe, stable, warm, healthy, interactive environment, and the patient companionship of parents. "Companionship" here is a kind of psychological comfort, emotional connection, mutual nourishment, role model, and growth with children.
Parents need to learn to be moderately silent
Communication is the basis of psychological compatibility, and psychological compatibility is the basis for the production of close relationships. The most important interaction between parents and children is communication. If a person learns to communicate in his interactions with his parents, his relationships with classmates, teachers, and friends can also be well developed.
Therefore, parents should learn to be moderately "silent" and listen patiently. "Listening" is more important than "speaking". When children want to find someone to talk to, if they find that instead of succeeding in confiding, they have been educated, or even become the bearer of their parents' "language garbage", then how can they still be willing to communicate with their parents? Therefore, moderate "silence" and patient listening are the best ways to understand children's voices.
In addition, parents should also learn to be kind and authorize in a timely manner. I don't know if you've ever had the same troubles, but your child's room is always messy, and he doesn't want to tidy up. Or help your child tidy it up, and after a few hours it becomes a mess again. In the face of such a situation, parents should not simply characterize their children's behavior as "negative" behavior, and try to "subdue" them. Instead, parents can see it as a sign of their child's growth.
As a parent, you should crouch down, put down your posture, and replace "I'll tell you how to do it" with "Let's figure it out together." Give children a platform for communication, an opportunity to get close to their parents, and become friends with their children, but also increase the possibility for parents to understand their children.
Parents should learn to respect their children and enter their children's hearts. Children are independent beings, immature but with their own thoughts and personalities, their opinions and opinions, even if they are somewhat unrealistic, are thought of by themselves, and their emotions, instincts, and imaginations are even much stronger than those of adults. When your child shares their thoughts, distress or joy with you, don't rush to give advice or solutions, but give them emotional support. Second, give children a certain amount of autonomy and develop a sense of responsibility. Involve children in family discussions and decision-making, encourage them to express their opinions, develop independent thinking skills and critical thinking, and encourage them to take on age-appropriate responsibilities so that children feel respected and valued.
There are also "tricks" to praising children
I don't know if you have noticed that many families obviously do not lack love, but children don't feel love, and their hearts are barren. In fact, loving parents is the instinct of every child. But children will gradually lose the ability to love in the words of constant denial and criticism, and will not love themselves and their parents. No matter how kind words and teachings are, if they are thorny, they will still become hurtful thorns.
Parents should give their children warm and powerful words. It is hoped that parents will have the right attitude towards their children.
We advocate appreciation. This kind of appreciation is not to say "great, awesome, smart!" in generalities, but to point out a clear direction of progress according to the child's age characteristics, the content should be specific, and the language should be popular, so that the child understands that as long as he works hard, he can achieve his goals.
We also need to give our children full support. When a child succeeds, parents should share the joy, when a child encounters a setback, parents should empathize with the analysis, study and discuss, and when the child learns to regress, the parents continue to encourage them, analyze the reasons, set goals, and move forward in small steps. As a parent, you need to really pay attention to your child's needs and respect their choices. Because love is too full, the child grows too slowly, and if the love is too heavy and too strong, not only will he be tired, but the child will be even more tired.
Good reading habits are the foundation of lifelong learning
Ye Shengtao said: "What is education? In a word, it is necessary to develop good study habits. "The formation of habits has a gradual process, which generally goes through a process from passive to active: the first stage is completely managed and constrained by the teacher or parents, the second stage is managed by the group, and the third stage is managed by oneself. There is no shortcut to success, good habits are slowly formed, and they need persistence and methods.
When students transition from kindergarten life to primary school life, it is urgent to develop good behavior habits and have a certain sense of independence and responsibility. Understands task requirements, grasps the main points, and can complete a task from start to finish. This habit will provide sufficient stamina for the child's subsequent development. Parents also need to develop the habit of following the rules in their children. Let the child be in awe, understand and follow the rules. This is the first step in teaching children about the world and an important step in teaching them to protect themselves.
Pay attention to the formation of good living habits. Many parents always feel that their children are still young, so they neglect to cultivate living habits. But in practice, we often see that some children have already entered junior high school, but they still lose everything, can't pack up their school supplies, and their desktops are messy...... I didn't develop good living habits since I was a child, and it was difficult to correct them when I grew up.
Nowadays, everyone agrees that learning should be a lifelong thing. The foundation of lifelong learning is to have good reading habits and spontaneously draw nourishment from books. It is much easier to start the habit of reading in childhood than it is to develop it in adulthood, and it is easier to find the joy of reading in non-utilitarian reading. When something is fun, then it's not far from becoming a habit.
I often tell my teachers at school that you don't think that all the good children in the class are taught by the teacher. Teachers have a role, but it is more the role of the family, the contribution of parents, and the power of example. Educating children requires teaching by word and deed, and parents are the biggest role models for children.
While our children are still young, give them more love, give them more exercise, spend more time with them, and don't leave regrets and blanks. I think if we work together, our children will grow stronger!