In the miniature society of the campus, children are not only the absorbers of knowledge, but also the practitioners of personality shaping and social skills.
However, this pure land, which is supposed to be full of innocence and friendliness, sometimes arouses the public's attention to the phenomenon of school bullying due to the appearance of certain discordant notes.
Recently, in Guiyang, Guizhou Province, a 12-year-old girl confided in her mother that she had been verbally bullied by a male classmate, and instead of being angry, her mother responded in an unexpected way - she gave bananas and egg yolks to the boy, which embarrassed him.
This incident also reflects the different coping strategies and value orientations of parents, schools and even society in the face of school bullying.
On April 19, the mother in Guiyang went to visit her daughter at school, and during the conversation, the mother learned that her daughter was often harassed by a male classmate, frequently throwing her belongings, damaging her personal belongings, and even making "pornography" to her, making the 12-year-old girl feel both ashamed and helpless.
After hearing her daughter's confession, the mother's heart was like a knife. She understands that for a twelve-year-old, such verbal injuries can leave an indelible psychological shadow.
But she also knows that impulsively settling accounts with the other party is not the best way to solve the problem. So, she decided to deal with it in a gentler and wiser way.
The mother asked her daughter to call the boy in front of her, and she broke the tension with a kind "baby, come over here", and then said that the boy was "really a spirit guy" and praised him for his manhood.
The mother then began to "fabricate" some facts, saying that she would like to thank the boy for helping her daughter, especially "standing up" when she was being bullied, and entrusting him to continue to protect her daughter in the future.
The mother then gave the boy the banana and egg yolk pie as a token of gratitude. The boy looked at the gift from the female classmate's mother and replied awkwardly, "I feel like you're mocking me." ”
At the end of the mother-daughter conversation, the mother firmly believed that the boy would not bully her daughter again, but would become her protector, and shook the boy's hand warmly. This scene, like a miniature psychological drama, uses the mother's unique strategy to successfully resolve the dilemma encountered by her daughter at school.
The choice of mother is undoubtedly a bold social experiment, which contains an understanding of human nature and a deep insight into education. On the positive side, the mother's strategy has the following advantages:
She starts by calming her daughter's emotions and making her feel supported and protected by her family, which is the first line of defense against bullying. Secondly, the mother tried to build a new relationship between her daughter and the boy in the way of "turning enemies into friends", breaking the original pattern of opposition and creating a relatively safe campus environment for her daughter.
She did not choose to directly confront or scold the boy, but spoke to him in a calm manner, using "fictional facts" to convey the expectation of respect and good behavior, trying to stimulate the boy's inner conscience and sense of responsibility. Such a non-confrontational approach will help avoid further escalation of contradictions and leave room for maneuver on both sides.
Of course, any bird will have it when the forest is bigger, and although the mother's intention is to awaken the conscience of the boys, individual differences determine that not all bullies will change their behavior in response to positive incentives. Some boys may misinterpret their mother's intentions and see them as a sign of weakness and bullying, which can exacerbate bullying.
The use of fictitious facts" for educational purposes may lead to false moral examples. Other students who witnessed the incident may emulate this "flattering" tactic instead of directly opposing the bullying, resulting in a distorted school climate.
In the face of school bullying, it is important for parents to respond individually, but it is more important for schools to take systematic and standardized prevention and control measures. As the main front of education, schools should clearly have zero tolerance for any form of bullying, formulate strict anti-bullying rules and regulations, and ensure that all teachers and students are aware of and abide by them. Once bullying is discovered, it should be dealt with seriously and not tolerated, regardless of the severity.