In life, we will always accept help from the outside world:
The nurturing of parents, the teachings of teachers, the love of friends, and the encouragement of strangers......
All kinds of help have made us develop the habit of "relying on our parents at home, relying on friends when we go out, and relying on our partners when we get married".
However, relying on the mountains and mountains falls, relying on everyone to run.
When there is no shelter from the wind and rain, we will eventually become our own roof.
As Ji Xianlin said:
"There are thousands of scenes in the world, joys and sorrows, ups and downs, except for self-crossing, no one else can help. ”
In thousands of worlds, there are always things that money can't buy.
Behind the enviable marriage, it is also the result of the hard work of both parties.
The long road of life, after the age of 40, whether a person is blessed or not depends on these three hardest hole cards.
Introspection is the nourishment for deep ploughing
Ita Simmons said:
"Introspection is an effective tool to save oneself. ”
There is no road in vain in life, and only by bowing down to self-reflection can we obtain the nourishment of deep cultivation from past experiences.
Writer Zhou Ling mentioned in "Cognitive Awakening":
Over the years, he has been recording daily reflections, a habit that allows him to reflect on the great wisdom that is conducive to his own growth from the trivial things.
Once, he went out with his family on holidays, and when he was tired of shopping, he wanted to find a place to rest, but the places where he could rest were full.
Since they didn't have a good rest, everyone went home without having enough fun.
Afterwards, Zhou Ling found that he was trapped by fixed thinking through reflection:
Although there are no vacant seats for three or four people to rest in the scenic spot, KFC and McDonald's have many vacant seats for one or two people.
The purpose of everyone is to rest, not to sit together and rest, and it is possible to rest separately.
Through introspection, Zhou Ling discovered the limitations of his thinking, and then constantly upgraded and optimized his way of thinking in action.
In addition to reflecting on the things in his life, he also records the things that have touched him deeply in his work.
Once, he was criticized by the unit leader, and he wanted to resign on the spot.
But in the end, I still suppressed the impulse in my heart.
After getting off work, Zhou Ling calmed down and reflected:
The attitude and temper of the leader are indeed unacceptable, but he pointed out the problems in his work.
As the old saying goes:
"If you can't do it, you should ask for yourself. ”
In life, when you encounter something wrong, you should first reflect on yourself and find the reason from yourself, and you may have unexpected gains.
Reflect on life and make us happier and happier;
Reflecting on our work makes us calmer and calmer.
Self-reflection is the only way to wake up.
Only by insisting on self-examination for a long time can we draw nutrients from various past experiences, deepen ourselves, and transform into the ideal self.
Self-study is a ladder to climb upward
There is a saying:
"Self-learning is the most valuable ability in these changing times. ”
It is true that for everyone, only by concentrating on cultivating the ability of self-learning can they keep climbing upwards and have the confidence to fight against life.
I have a friend who used to help her mentor analyze data during her graduate studies and discover the type of work she wanted to do.
So, she used all her free time to start teaching herself various programming languages.
Search for tutorials on the Internet, find experience posts, ask questions on Zhihu, find practical exercises for relevant positions, and learn through as many channels as possible.
In this way, I insisted on self-study for two years, and when I graduated, all the hard work had been harvested.
When most of her classmates went to the bank to start as a teller, she was not a computer major, but she overcame all the obstacles and entered the technology department of the bank's back-office as she wished.
Practicing self-study gave her more confidence when she graduated, and finally got the job opportunity she wanted.
Writer Li Xiaolai once shared that almost all of his achievements along the way have been self-taught:
Self-taught in sales to gain outstanding presentation skills;
self-taught IELTS and TOEFL and taught at New Oriental;
Self-taught programming knowledge and wrote English vocabulary books;
Educate yourself on finance and become a famous angel investor.
So, don't doubt that your efforts will not be rewarded, there is no road in vain in life, and every step you take seriously counts.
If you miss the opportunity in front of you, you can also take advantage of new opportunities by self-study.
Even if what you learn doesn't work for you right away, maybe at some point in the future, it will become another way for you.
Life is like a marathon, and self-study is an energy supply station on the way.
When you're tired, it's always ready to meet your energy needs.
Cultivating the ability to learn by yourself is a weapon to change from passive to active in life, a magic weapon to get rid of difficulties and crises, and a ladder to help you climb up.
The core is strong, and it is the trump card that controls life
Mo Yan said in "The Late Bloomer":
"True strength is not confrontation, but allowing it to happen.
Not to forget, but to accept. ”
Giving up confrontation with oneself and allowing and accepting what happens requires a strong kernel support.
In life, no one will always be smooth sailing, and sometimes behind the seemingly glamorous, there is unknown pain and bitterness.
The famous CCTV host Ni Ping was very happy to have a son at the age of 40.
However, when the child was 11 months old, he was diagnosed with a serious eye disease, which was tantamount to a bolt from the blue for Ni Ping, a first-time mother.
But life is unpredictable, and the feeling of suffocation like the sky has just begun.
She took her son to seek medical treatment in China to no avail, so she paid a high fee to go abroad for treatment.
In order to earn medical expenses, Ni Ping began to be an actor and filming, and as soon as she was free from work, she went abroad to accompany her child for treatment, and at that time, netizens misunderstood that she wanted to emigrate.
More than 10 years of seeking medical treatment at home and abroad did not make Ni Ping give up easily.
She pieced together the hardships and injuries of life little by little into the armor of her body, silently resisting all the bitterness and suffering.
Finally, all Ni Ping's hard work has been rewarded:
My son's eye disease has fully recovered and he has become a healthy child.
In the same year, Ni Ping returned to the CCTV stage and hosted "Waiting for Me".
In the past ten years of treating her son, she has experienced divorce, giving up her dream of being a host, being an actor and filming, and remarrying, with ups and downs along the way.
Life is like climbing a mountain, when you climb a mountain, you will always meet the next steeper mountain.
As a classic dialogue in "This Killer Is Not Too Cold":
"Is life always so painful? or is it just when you were a child?"
"Always. ”
Since you can't escape the hardships of life, then try to cultivate your heart.
When the heart is strong enough, you can also live the highest level of elegance from the lowest point of life.
A stable and strong core is the hardest armor against wind and rain.
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In this life, perhaps the most important thing is not how rich you are, not who you are with, but to be able to fulfill yourself.
If you have cultivated a skill, you will naturally be not afraid of wind and rain.
Bow down to introspection, seek inward, taste life in the details, and let the past experience ferment into deep nourishment;
Cultivate self-study, break the illusion of time, take the initiative to learn the skills you need, change the status quo, and keep climbing upward;
The core is strong and has its own light, even if you fall into the darkness, you can find your way and control your life.
When a person reaches middle age, whether a person is blessed or not, whether he lives well or not, depends on these three hardest hole cards.
May you and I be fearless and live our lives.
作者 | 紫翘· Ariel
Picture | Submitted by Ziqiao photography enthusiasts