Ever since I had my daughter, I've always seen it as a joy for her to choose clothes and style them.
So since she was born, every time she browses the Internet or goes to the mall, she sees those colorful little clothes, delicate little skirts and all kinds of cute little hair accessories.
I can't help but want to have them all in my pocket, hoping to make my daughter look beautiful every day.
I used to think that this would not only bring joy and confidence to my daughter, but would also be pleasing to the eye. More importantly, I believe that a well-dressed and adorable child will make a good impression when he goes out.
However, as the years went by and the life experience was accumulated, especially in the area of parenting and family education, I began to realize that it was not necessarily a good thing to dress up my daughter too well.
01 If you have a daughter at home, don't dress up too well
Psychologist Professor Li Meijin once said: During school, the principle of dressing up is to be neat and tidy, and too delicate will put the cart before the horse, especially parents with girls, don't dress their daughters too well.
Why? There are several reasons for this:
(1) Affect girls' sense of self-worth
The so-called "sense of self-worth" is simply the evaluation and feeling of each of us about ourselves, that is, whether we feel worthy, capable, and worthy of being respected and liked.
If a girl is dressed up too delicately when she is a child, then the recognition of her by the people around her will focus on her appearance, such as praising her for her beauty, good clothes, etc.
Over time, they may slowly forget that they have many other great things, such as intelligence, kindness, and bravery.
In this way, when she sees other girls dressed more beautifully than her, her sense of comparison and vanity will be magnified, and she may even feel more likely to feel lost and helpless when she encounters setbacks, forgetting that her true value comes from within.
Just like a little girl, she always wants to wear the most beautiful dress to get everyone's attention, but when she doesn't wear a dress for a day, or the skirt is not good enough, she may feel sad and even forget that she actually has many other strengths and talents.
(2) Affect mental health
There is a term in psychology called "child star syndrome", which refers to the fact that child stars are exposed to the public eye too early and excessively, and are subjected to great pressure and expectations that do not match their age, which in turn leads to a series of psychological, emotional and behavioral problems.
For example, Xinjiang boy Alpha quickly became a well-known child star when he was only 7 years old because he won the runner-up in the annual finals of "Avenue of Stars".
However, according to media reports, due to the inability to withstand the huge pressure of the entertainment industry, his life and rest became irregular, which not only affected his physical health, but also led to a series of psychological problems.
Studies have shown that there is a strong relationship between excessive pursuit of material comforts and mental health problems, and those who focus too much on appearance and material things are often more likely to feel anxious and dissatisfied.
Children's growth path should be full of laughter and exploration, and they should grow up in a free and relaxed environment, rather than being bound by the attention of the outside world too early.
As a young girl who doesn't have a strong heart, if she is dressed up too delicately and beautiful every day, and everywhere she goes, she will inevitably feel uncomfortable and uncomfortable.
Because she has to pay attention to her words and deeds at all times, for fear of being laughed at if she does something wrong, this kind of pressure is actually a burden for the child, and it is easy to affect her mental health.
(3) Influence learning
The results show that there is a certain correlation between students' self-image perception and academic achievement, and excessive attention to appearance may make students misjudge their own value, which in turn affects academic performance.
When girls are overly focused on their appearance, they may devote more time and energy to grooming and maintaining their appearance, thus distracting from their studies.
As a girl who has experienced her school days, from elementary school to junior high school, and then to high school, there has always been no shortage of beautiful and beautiful girls in the class who are dressed up by their parents.
If you look closely, you will find that most of these girls who are unusually outstanding in their appearance in the class have the problem of early love in junior high school and high school.
The reason why these delicate and beautiful girls who are dressed up is not because of their subjective will, but because there are too many boys who pursue them.
Girls in junior high school and high school are in the adolescent stage of lack of self-control, curiosity and affection for the opposite sex, and it is difficult for them to refuse and resist the pursuit of male classmates.
I have seen a remark from a junior high school homeroom teacher on the Internet before, he said that with his own observation and understanding of students, it is recommended that parents do not dress their daughters too beautifully, and it is best not to even have long hair, especially junior and senior high school students.
The real baby needs to be hidden, and the flowers should not bloom too early, so as not to be worried about the male classmates and the jealousy of the female classmates, otherwise you may encounter a lot of trouble.
Whether it is early love or being jealous, ostracized and isolated by female classmates, it will distract girls from their studies, causing them to have difficulty concentrating in their studies, which in turn affects their learning efficiency.
02 If I have a daughter at home, what should I pay attention to when dressing?
Although, as parents, we don't need to overdress our children, it doesn't mean that we can make our children dress sloppily and unkempt.
Children are small, but they also have self-esteem, and if they are ridiculed for what they wear, it may make them feel inferior. Therefore, we must also pay attention to balance in the dressing of children.
Keep them dressed neatly and appropriately, for the occasion and age, and avoid being too flashy or exaggerated. In this way, the child will not be ridiculed for what he wears, and he will be able to maintain his confidence and self-esteem.
Here are a few tips on how to dress up for girls, I hope it will be helpful to everyone:
(1) Comfortable and healthy
Your child is in the process of physical growth and development, and at the same time, he or she needs to sit for a long time or participate in various sports activities at school.
Comfortable and healthy clothing can provide enough freedom to avoid skin irritation or allergies, help students maintain an appropriate body temperature, and reduce physical discomfort.
On the other hand, uncomfortable clothing is likely to affect their physical health and study efficiency.
Specifically, comfortable and healthy clothes should first be made of soft and breathable materials, such as cotton, linen, wool and other materials. Secondly, the design should be reasonable, and it will not restrict the body when worn, and it will not produce too much friction.
In addition, the choice of colors and patterns should also be considered for comfort, not too bright or complex. At the same time, there is also a need to pay attention to security. For example, avoid clothing with sharp or easy-to-fall trim to avoid injury to girls while playing or moving.
(2) Clean and neat
It is a student's duty to dress neatly and neatly.
Clean and neat clothes are more in line with children's active nature, can highlight children's natural beauty, facilitate their various activities, and avoid inconvenience or safety hazards caused by dragging clothes.
Specifically, neat clothes usually refer to those that are simple in style, have the right color matching, and do not have too many decorations and redundant elements.
At the same time, be careful to avoid styles that are too revealing or exaggerated so as not to bring unnecessary attention and distress to the girl.
(3) Age-appropriate occasions
Girls should dress appropriately for their age and avoid overly mature or childish dressing. At the same time, different occasions require different dressing styles.
For example, when you're at school, you can choose clothes that are simple and easy to move around, while when you're attending a formal occasion or festival, you can dress up a little more formal or lively.
[Final Words to Parents]
Parents are children's first teachers and lifelong teachers, and we have the obligation to cultivate children's correct values, aesthetics and good living habits.
As parents, we need to let our children know that appearance is not the only measure of a person's worth, and that excessive pursuit of appearance will only make people neglect their inner growth and progress.
True beauty and charm come from inner cultivation and wisdom, and only by paying attention to inner growth can you become a truly valuable person.
And lead by example, use our actions to influence and educate children, help them establish correct values, aesthetics and good living habits, so that they can be more determined and confident on the road of growth.