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Speaking of teacher Zhang Xuefeng, it can be called the "god" of the parent circle, especially the high school parent circle.
His live broadcast on the Internet is often tens of thousands of people online at the same time, and the parents or children who are clicked on are so nervous that they are incoherent, and Mr. Zhang is indeed very authoritative, able to look at children from different families from a broader perspective, and can often give more sincere and practical suggestions for the needs of the college entrance examination major and filling in the application.
More importantly, from Mr. Zhang, we can know that some ordinary parents do not know that the college entrance examination information is poor, which is very fatal for the vast majority of parents, the child has obviously scored very good results, but has not been admitted to a good school or a good major, or the child is obviously a top student and a good major, but after graduation, he cannot find a job that matches his learning ability.
In fact, Mr. Zhang is not only very authoritative in filling in the college entrance examination volunteers, but some of his views also "inadvertently" point out the general direction of family parenting, which also has a strong guiding significance for parents whose children are still relatively young.
It's better to be an example than to be a request
Teacher Zhang Xuefeng once answered the question of how to educate children at an education sharing meeting.
As we all know, Mr. Zhang has a daughter who is in elementary school, and he talks about whether he wants his child to go to graduate school or study abroad in the future. Here's what Mr. Zhang said:
After the child is 18 years old, he needs to make his own choice, if he doesn't want to take the college entrance examination, then go to an international high school, and then go to the next "water master", in short, there are not too many requirements for learning, and it is good if he can earn money to support himself. He only has two requirements for his daughter, one is not to gamble, and the other is not to start a business. Of course, being less demanding of children does not mean that parents can completely let go of their children's growth, on the contrary, they should do two things well to their children.
One is companionship, and the other is role model.
Companionship is actually very easy to understand, the time when children are young is really short, and the time under the wings of their parents is very limited. In the first few years of elementary school, I still wanted to talk to my parents about everything and express my opinions, but in the next few years, I directly "empathized and said goodbye", and communicated more with my classmates and less with my parents.
Once I was in junior high school and high school, I had less time to spend with my parents and communicate with them. Therefore, parents should cherish the time when their children are young, accompany them well, participate in their growth, understand their ideas, and give them guidance.
The other is a role model.
Many parents are actually very concerned about their children's learning, especially after seeing the deeds of "Haidian Mother" and "Modu Mother", they have a lot of ideas, and their requirements for their children are also rising, not ordinary.
But to be honest, many parents have more requirements for their children, but they are rarely able to do it themselves. Take the simplest example, we often ask our children not to play with their mobile phones, not to watch short videos, and to watch more time to write a word or do a question, but have you ever thought about what we are doing when our children are doing their homework?
Mom and Dad are doing children, and the old saying "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" is also true.
Therefore, for the growth of children, the role of requirements is really far less than being a role model, what kind of person you want your child to become, what kind of person you should become first, and then there is no need to ask, and the child will naturally learn from it.
It's better to push than to pull
The second direction is about educational methods.
Teacher Zhang Xuefeng said that everything that children learn before going to college is actually a method, not the knowledge content itself.
Take the knowledge taught in high school, you can't use it in life. When we buy groceries, we don't make an equation and then use some formulas and theorems to solve it; when we play ball games, we don't sit there and analyze the end point of the flat tossing motion and the force in the process; when we eat, we don't think about how to detect that there is an element that belongs to additives in the food, and so on.
But this does not mean that pre-university learning is useless, because it shows children a way to research problems: "find problems→ analyze problems→ solve problems→ verify answers". This method is actually a one-size-fits-all approach.
In learning, many children often lack the second step of analyzing the problem.
For example, if a child can't do a question, his parents will accuse him on the side, what are you doing in class, so simple to use the formula and theorem to apply it once, what the hell is spending money to let you go to school, and then the topic will be changed to other aspects, so that you can write one more word is simply fatal, but playing with the mobile phone for a few hours without rest, such a big child, there is no competitiveness at all, and your parents feel a little unbearable on their faces when they take out your little grades, etc.
In fact, this is all about pulling children away, history proves that children who are pulling away really can't go far and can't go out of a good future, if you want your children to become better and more active, you should still choose to push them.
And the push in learning is to continuously strengthen the role of learning methods.
Or the above child can't do the problem of this case, push it, is to help the child analyze the problem, is the foundation is not firm or the application of knowledge points is not familiar, is the basic computing ability is not up to par or the concentration is insufficient, it is easy to look at the conditions, is the type of question to see less for a while and a half will have no ideas or completely do not know how to start?
There are many possibilities behind a problem that you can't do, and each of them may need to be dealt with in a different way, honestly analyze the reasons, and then find the corresponding solutions according to these reasons, which is the best way to solve the problem, and it is also the most simple way for children to learn.
Many times parents worry about their children's learning, watching children want to get started by themselves, this is actually a typical pull, the child who is pulled forward has no goal, the reason why they can move forward depends on the pull of their parents, once they lose their external force, they lack the motivation to move forward. The growth of children is a long-term systematic project, which requires them to have a sense of autonomy, and teaching them the correct and useful way of learning is actually to push them at a critical moment, which is the choice to get twice the result with half the effort.
Motivation to learn
The last direction is about learning motivation.
In fact, Happy Dad himself has written a lot of topics about children's learning motivation, and has also said many ways and methods, such as stimulating children's interest, planning the future for children, combining children's expectations with current learning, etc., and Mr. Zhang Xuefeng's suggestions are undoubtedly more practical.
It can be to fulfill your wishes.
Now although the living conditions are good, it is impossible for children to get everything they want, after all, there are some things that they can't get temporarily, which requires hard study, through education to achieve the improvement of personal value, and then to meet some of their previous wishes, to experience the beauty that they have not experienced before.
It can be to realize its own value.
Children's vision is now mainly based on the foundation of their parents, and if they want to go up further, they need to work hard. For example, children like to play with Lego bricks, so if one day, after they have good grades and their own income, can they go to the origin of Lego, see the history of Lego bricks, and all kinds of fancy building, etc.?
A person's value is inseparable from his vision, and the stronger the ability, the broader the vision, the higher the value.
It can be a family achievement.
Some families have average economic conditions, have been living in relatively backward cities, have never seen the great rivers and mountains of the motherland, and have not experienced all kinds of customs and customs, study is the best way to improve family conditions, there is no one.
Isn't it a very rewarding thing to help yourself and your family see the world that you have never seen in the first half of your life through your own efforts?
Whether it is to realize their own wishes, or to realize their own value, or to achieve their family's dreams, in fact, it is through the planning of a better future, so that children can recognize learning from the bottom of their hearts, and firmly believe that learning will bring a lot of things, and can really change some of their own things. This is actually what many parenting experts call internal motivation.
Of course, if the child is younger, you can also use the above happy dad to stimulate the child's interest, and extend the child's hobby to cultivate their internal drive for learning. And once you have an internal drive, learning is a matter of course.
At last
I don't know how you feel when you see this, Happy Dad thinks that what Mr. Zhang Xuefeng said is really some big truth, it is from the perspective of Mom and Dad, and gives us suggestions from the bitter heart, although these suggestions are mainly for older children, but it is also applicable to younger children, and the general direction of this kind of education is the guarantee for children to become better.
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