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Every year during the Chinese New Year, I was tormented by sending red envelopes to my in-laws and parents. This seemingly simple matter has become a long-term conflict between me and my wife Wang Li.
As an introverted engineer, I've never been good at dealing with family conflicts. The coming New Year, I was once again in a dilemma. I know that no matter how I choose, there will always be one side that will be dissatisfied.
I anxiously discussed with Wang Li: "My dear, what do you say I should do? I really can't take out so much money when I give red envelopes to my in-laws and parents during the Chinese New Year." "
Wang Li held my hand soothingly and said gently: "Then send 2,000 yuan red envelopes to my in-laws and 5,000 yuan to my parents, so it's not too unbalanced." "
I frowned, hesitating. I know that although this plan seems fair, I still feel that it is not fair. I know that my parents' life is much more difficult than my in-laws, and they have been silently supporting us, and I am reluctant to give them less.
But I don't want to offend my in-laws, because they take care of our lives a lot. I was torn between a dilemma and my mind was in turmoil.
"But, my dear, I think it will make my parents feel that they have been deceived. They are usually very nice to us, I can't really put it into words. "I told Wang Li about my struggles.
Wang Li sighed, with a little helplessness in her eyes. "So what are you going to do? You have to send something to both sides, otherwise it will definitely cause family conflict. "
I fidgeted in annoyance, lost in my thoughts. I know that no matter how I choose, I will offend one side. How do I weigh the pros and cons and find the best of both worlds?
In the end, I decided to give 2,000 yuan to my in-laws and 5,000 yuan to my parents. I knew that doing so might not be very satisfying for Wang Li, but I couldn't make any other choice.
When I told Wang Li about my decision, she really showed a disapproving expression, but she didn't say much. I know she's uncomfortable too, but we've discussed it over and over again, and I've explained my considerations.
Approaching the Chinese New Year's Eve dinner, the two families got together. As soon as I sat down, the atmosphere became very tense. I saw my in-laws directly accuse me: "Li Ming, what's the matter with you? A big man can't even get the money to send a red envelope to his parents, and he doesn't know how to honor his elders!"
When my parents heard this, they immediately retorted: "What does it mean that you can't get money? Our son has always been filial to us, but you don't know how to cherish it! Look, he has given more red envelopes to your family than we do!"
I sat in the middle, bowing my head in confusion, desperate to find a crack in the ground to get into. I knew it would turn out like this, but I really couldn't think of a better solution.
Wang Li anxiously tugged at my sleeve, her eyes full of worry. She tried to play a round to appease both sides: "Mom and Dad, Li Ming also wants to take care of both sides, don't take it too seriously, you are all a family, and you still have to be harmonious during the New Year." "
However, my parents and in-laws were not convinced in the slightest, and the quarrel became more and more fierce. My father pointed at his in-laws and angrily reprimanded: "What kind of attitude do you have? Our son is a good and filial son, why should you take advantage of it? You are not qualified to put your beak in this matter of dividends!"
Li Ming is an ungrateful and unfilial son, and he doesn't even remember how we usually take care of him!" The in-laws retorted aggressively.
My head was going to blow up, and I didn't know what to do. I'm even beginning to wonder if I shouldn't have gotten married in the first place, so I wouldn't have been caught in this dilemma.
Seeing this, Wang Li anxiously pulled my arm and tried to comfort me: "Ming, don't be angry, let's find a way to explain to them." "
However, my parents and in-laws didn't want to listen to our explanations at all, and they quarreled a lot. I felt like a helpless pawn, being pulled by both sides but unable to get out.
Seeing that the atmosphere of the Chinese New Year's Eve dinner was becoming more and more tense, I really couldn't sit still. I knew I should stand up and try to resolve this family feud, but at the moment I didn't even have the courage to speak.
I kept my head down, full of guilt and struggle. I knew I might offend one side with my decision, but I couldn't afford any more. I really want to have the best of both worlds, but the reality is so cruel.
Suddenly, I felt Wang Li anxiously tugging at my sleeve. She looked at me worriedly, her eyes full of helplessness and unease. I know she's in a dilemma. As my wife, of course, she wants our two families to be harmonious, but she also understands that it is too difficult to do so in such a situation.
I mustered up the courage to raise my head and look into Wang Li's eyes. In her worried gaze, I seemed to see my own shadow. We all want family harmony, but fate has given us such a difficult situation.
"Honey, I really don't know what to do anymore. I whispered, "I don't want my in-laws and parents to turn against each other, but I really can't come up with more money." You see, they won't back down, what should I do?"
Wang Li sighed and patted my hand soothingly. "I know you're struggling, but we have to find a way to just watch them argue. We've got to find a way to make it acceptable to everyone. "
With that, she stood up and tried to get in between her parents, who were arguing fiercely. "Mom and Dad, Li Ming also did this to take into account your feelings. He knows you're all good to us, so he wants to try to balance it. Don't worry too much about it, the most important thing is that everyone is happy. "
I looked at Wang Li anxiously and prayed in my heart that she would convince my parents and in-laws. But soon, my hopes were dashed.
"Balance, hmph, where does he care about our feelings!" My in-laws snorted coldly, "If you want to say that you are careful, it is obviously partial! If it weren't for your face, we would have ignored him a long time ago!"
"That's it, our son has always been a good and filial son, why do you say he is not filial?" My father retorted excitedly.
Wang Li looked at me helplessly, and I could feel her anxiety and helplessness. We've tried our best to mediate, but we've been getting darker and darker. I suddenly felt a strong sense of frustration, as if I would be blamed and scolded for whatever I did.
I clenched my fists, and just then, a decision quickly took shape in my mind. I looked up, looked directly at the two sides of the argument, and took a deep breath.
"Okay, since you all say so, then I won't send red envelopes to anyone at all!" I declare loudly.
In an instant, the entire living room fell into a deathly silence. My parents and in-laws froze in place, not knowing how to react. Wang Li looked at me nervously, her eyes flashing with worry.
I stared closely at the person in front of me and said word by word: "Since you all think that I am not filial, then I will show you what real unfilial piety is! From now on, I will not give money to anyone, and you can find a way to celebrate the New Year by yourself!"
With that, I walked out of the living room without looking back, leaving a room full of incoherent people. It was a somewhat extreme decision, but I was too tired to wrestle with the dilemma anymore.
I walked out of the living room in a rage, my mind in a mess. I had never been so angry and hopeless, as if all my sanity had been consumed by a nameless rage.
As a dutiful son, I have always tried my best to maintain the relationship between the two families. But now, I've been reduced to the point where I don't give red envelopes to anyone at all. I really felt very disappointed and helpless.
I slammed the door shut and sat down on the edge of the bed. Wang Li hurriedly followed, looking at me worriedly.
"Ming, what are you doing here? Why do you suddenly say such a thing?" She asked anxiously.
I shook my head in frustration: "I don't know, I've really had enough." You see, no matter what I do, they think I'm not filial. I really can't come up with any more money, but I don't want to offend any of my family, what should I do?"
Wang Li sighed and hugged me gently. "I know you're struggling, but you can't do that. You will only make the situation worse by doing so. If you think about it, if you don't even give red envelopes, they will definitely be even more angry and dissatisfied. "
I was silent, my head flooded with all sorts of self-reproaching voices. Am I really just an unfilial son, what am I doing wrong, and why am I in this dilemma?
Wang Li comforted softly: "Ming, don't worry now. Let's figure out a way to explain it to them. I believe that as long as we can all be considerate of each other, we will be able to find a way to balance. "
Her words gave me a glimmer of hope. Perhaps, through communication and understanding, we can really find a solution that satisfies everyone. After all, we are all a family, and we are all entangled out of concern for each other.
I nodded and said softly, "Okay, then we'll go talk to them now." I hope they understand my situation and that I can be more considerate of their feelings. "
Wang Li gave me an encouraging smile and we walked out of the room together. By this time, the quarrel in the living room had gradually subsided. I took a deep breath and stepped inside.
When we returned, my parents and in-laws immediately looked at me with mixed emotions in their eyes. I felt my heart pounding, but I still mustered up the courage to speak, "Mom and Dad, in-laws, I know that what I just said was very exciting, and you all feel hurt. But I really just want to be as fair as possible to you guys. I don't mean to disappoint anyone, I just can't afford any more money. "
My father looked at me with a frown: "But son, we are all your relatives, how can you treat us like this?
My in-laws also said dissatisfiedly: "Yes, you just decided not to give us red envelopes?
When I heard their words, my heart suddenly became heavy. I know that their ideas are not entirely wrong, and I do suspect that I have neglected their love and dedication too much. I had to find a way to explain it so that everyone could understand my situation and my considerations.
So I said sincerely, "Mom and Dad, in-laws, I'm really sorry for hurting you. I didn't mean to do it, I just couldn't really come up with any more money. I hope that everyone will understand my current difficult situation. Although I give you different red envelopes, it is definitely not because I don't care about you. On the contrary, I have always cherished and cared for you, and you are all very important family members to me. "