The child is really mediocre, will you face it calmly or find it difficult to accept?

Author: Xiao Tian, the main creative group

"If you suddenly find that the child is really mediocre, will you face it calmly or find it difficult to accept?"

This question has attracted nearly 6 million onlookers on Zhihu, and it also tortures all parents in real life.

At the unit dinner last week, my colleague Sister Wu mentioned her daughter after a long absence.

Her girl is a child who has grown up under the watchful eye of many people in the unit, she was smart and clever when she was a child, and her grades have always been good. But since she entered junior high school, Sister Wu has been silent about her daughter's situation.

This time, she took the initiative to talk about the child's recent situation. It turned out that after the little girl went to junior high school, her study stamina was obviously insufficient, and her grades could not go up; in the second year of junior high school, she even had symptoms of depression and took a break from school at home for a period of time. So it is no surprise that in last year's high school entrance examination, the child failed the list.

For her daughter's performance, Sister Wu has experienced a difficult struggle. From the anxiety and unwillingness at the beginning, to the later collapse and panic, and then to the final reconciliation with herself, the mentality returned to peace, behind the twists and turns of the mental journey, she gradually accepted a fact-

The daughter is indeed mediocre in her qualifications and struggles to study. Then, instead of being obsessed with the bitter chicken baby, it is better to let go of the child and yourself, and look at the child's future development in a different way.

After discussion, Sister Wu finally respected her daughter's wishes and chose a health school for her. Now, the little girl is in a very good state, much more confident and cheerful than before.

At the dinner table, when talking about this experience, Sister Wu said frankly: "After thinking it through, I realized that there is no point in staring at scores, the key is to teach children to make a living and love, and they can live well on their own in the future." ”

We all agree with these words.

Children can get ahead, of course, it is worthy of envy. But in fact, our children are most likely ordinary people.

It is inevitable to return to mediocrity, and our wish as parents is actually very simple, that is, the baby on the tip of our hearts can be treated gently by the years.

If you want your child to live this life with dignity, let them have the following three things as soon as possible.

A good body: the premise of calmly coping with challenges

That night, I swiped a mother's circle of friends. She collapsed and wrote: "A child with poor physique can't afford to be hurt!"

It turned out that her son had previously won the first prize in the municipal science and technology innovation competition and qualified for the national qualifier.

But just a few days before the competition, the child suddenly had a high fever that did not go away, and was finally diagnosed with pneumonia and had to be hospitalized.

In this way, a highly valuable opportunity to go on to higher education can only be reluctantly given up.

The regrettable thing in the world is not "I can't", but "I can obviously do". It is especially regrettable to see the low-hanging fruit opportunity lost for health reasons.

It is said that the body is the capital of the revolution. This sentence is even more true for children.

Health is 1, others are 0 behind. Without 1, there is no point in having more 0s.

In fact, to put it bluntly, the competition in today's society is all about resistance in the end. Whoever can not get sick will be able to persevere to the end, so as to win more resources.

Previously, the "People's Daily" had issued an article pointing out: "The physical fitness of young people is related to personal growth, family happiness, and the future of the nation, and only by actively participating in sports and fitness, strengthening the body, tempering the will, and condensing and rejuvenating the strength of youth, can we make due contributions to the great rejuvenation of the Chinese nation." ”

It can be seen that if you want to enhance your child's physique, one of the best ways is to keep exercising.

According to the "Physical Activity Guidelines for Children and Adolescents in China", children and adolescents aged 6-17 should accumulate at least one hour of moderate-to-vigorous exercise every day.

It is worth mentioning that sports bring children a series of benefits beyond imagination. For example, it helps to improve grades.

When the child's physique keeps up, the ability to concentrate and remember will also improve accordingly, and the state and efficiency of the whole learning will naturally improve.

Another example is the cultivation of children's perseverance.

Studies have found that children who exercise consistently for a long time tend to be extremely self-disciplined, good at controlling their emotions, and have clear goals, will do their best to achieve them, and always face challenges and failures with an optimistic attitude.

Such a child has a valuable quality that is indispensable for success - perseverance.

Therefore, in addition to the busy schoolwork, those precious leisure time should not be used to brush up on questions, you might as well let your child move to the fullest, go outside to run, jump, and play football......

The process of sweating will not only shape the child's physical fitness, but also give them a strong heart and the spirit of never giving up.

This investment in health is destined to make a profit.

A Critical Mind: The Key to Staying True to One

John Hopcroft, a Turing Award winner and American computer expert, once bluntly said that Chinese children can copy almost everything he teaches in class, but they don't delve into it, so from the feedback from exams or classroom questions, they lack the ability to apply knowledge.

As Yao Yang, dean of the National School of Development at Peking University, put it: "There is a big problem in our education, and children have become machines that can't think." ”

Children who can't think independently are destined to become prisoners of the information cocoon, and eventually lose themselves.

To avoid all this, you can't do without a very important quality - critical thinking.

I have seen the story of "Rocket Boy" Yan Hongsen.

This boy from Shaoxing, Zhejiang Province has loved rockets since he was a child, and has accumulated a lot of professional aerospace knowledge at a young age.

When he was 9 years old, he visited an astronomical experience hall in Lhasa under the guidance of his parents, but he did not expect to find that the science knowledge on the demonstration video in the museum was frequent: the Long March 3 was labeled as the Long March 5, and the Long March 5 was regarded as a two-stage rocket, and the separation order was also wrong...... He boldly questioned it on the spot and pointed out the mistakes one by one.

Subsequently, the official responded to this, saying that the children were very professional and the pavilion was indeed mistaken.

Children who are good at thinking are aura-pressing, and teach people to call the afterlife terrifying. And Yan Hongsen's subsequent growth has brought people more surprises.

As he grew older, his obsession with rockets grew, and now he is not only a science popularizer in this area, but also has relevant knowledge at his fingertips, and he is also trying to make rockets himself.

In the process, he consulted a large number of materials, researched various materials, and taught himself programming languages, physical chemistry, aerospace theory, electronic circuits and other knowledge. Almost all of his quests were done independently.

In the end, after 10 months of hard work, Yan Hongsen successfully built the first rocket in his life and successfully launched.

The Ministry of Education's "General High School Curriculum Plan" mentions that young people in the new era should "dare to criticize and question, explore and solve problems, be able to learn independently and think independently, learn to obtain, judge and process information, and have the ability to learn and develop in the information age." ”

Critical thinking is a must-have for this class of students, which will help children stand out from the assembly line products and become unique products.

As for how to cultivate this quality, it is actually three points - encourage children to read more, ask more questions, and practice more.

accumulate knowledge reserves in reading, and discover confusion and doubts;

Think independently and make rational judgments in questioning;

Explore the truth and find solutions in practice.

In this way, the child forms a closed loop of critical thinking, thus ensuring that his cognitive level is constantly improving.

A pair of dexterous hands: the confidence to live a decent life

There is a saying, "A good life is created with your hands." ”

Therefore, giving children a pair of dexterous hands means that they can take root in life and live a lively life in the fireworks.

And the first step to achieve all this is to guide your child to do household chores.

"People's Daily" once reported the story of Sun Jiarui, a girl from Wuxi.

Since he was 8 years old, his grandson has been learning to cook from his father. Now she has not only unlocked fifty or sixty kinds of home-cooked dishes, but also learned many skills such as one-handed spooning, "Haidilao Moon", and turning the spoon and pot, just like a professional "little chef".

On Mother's Day, she prepared two dishes for her mother as gifts. 's excellent cooking skills were directly praised by netizens on the hot search.

Looking at Xiao Sun's joy when cooking, we have every reason to believe that in the future, she will not only have the ability to take good care of herself, but also be a person who loves life.

The latest version of the mainland's "Compulsory Education Curriculum Plan" stipulates that every child must learn to cook rice and stew, repair household appliances, tidy up and other housework within his or her ability through labor classes.

In fact, behind these seemingly ordinary daily chores, there is a password for the child's success.

The famous Grant study at Harvard University shows that "the key to a child's future career success is to let them do housework from an early age, the better." ”

A pair of dexterous hands not only master the skills and abilities of "knowing how to live", but also the confidence and guarantee that you can live a nourishing life under any conditions.

The pedagogue Sukhomlinsky once said: "Do not always walk with your child by the hand, but let him walk independently on his own." ”

One day, children will break free from our arms and go into the big world alone.

As parents, what we can do is to strengthen their physique, arm their minds, exercise their abilities in time with them, and then let go in time for their children to control their own future.