In your daily life, do you always hear such words: "You don't want to help with this little favor, what kind of Buddha are you learning?" "Shouldn't you Buddha disciples all endure humiliation if you don't care about a little thing......?" It seems that because you are a disciple of the Buddha, you should be a good person who responds to requests, a good person who swallows his anger and has no temper. In fact, these are all misreadings of Buddha disciples, so what kind of image should a real Buddha disciple be?
Be kind ≠ responsive
Xiao Zhang had just studied Buddhism, and his colleagues often asked him to invite him to dinner, or asked him to help buy lunch on his behalf, and always asked him to borrow money. Often, Xiao Zhang's disposable living expenses are getting less and less, so he wants to ask his friends to return the money he borrowed and the money he used to buy lunch on his behalf. Colleagues complained: "Aren't you studying Buddhism? You don't even want to give anything to you? What's wrong with borrowing you some money to buy a few meals on your behalf?" ”
Buddhism talks about generosity, and generosity is to give benefits to others with benefits. Through generosity, people can develop compassion and reduce greed and selfish desires. Charity is not as simple as "giving money to others", it is indeed a type of giving, but it can also encourage and help others with wisdom, compassion, time, knowledge, language, and so on.
In many Buddhist scriptures, such as the Jizo Sutra, the Sutra of Almsgiving, the Sutra of Karmic Retribution, and the Treatise on Great Wisdom, all kinds of incredible merits of giving are mentioned.
As disciples of the Buddha, we should practice generosity in our lives, such as actively participating in good deeds that benefit the public, meeting people who really need help, and helping them.
Buddha disciples should establish the image of "being kind and giving", but they should not be good people who respond to requests and meet the needs of others, even some unreasonable demands, otherwise they will go too far. If a person agrees unconditionally to all the requests of others, it is not only possible that he will not be able to fulfill his promises because he does not take into account his own ability or time, but also that he will become overly dependent or "get something for nothing" for others, which is not beneficial to both parties.
What about being "morally kidnapped".
● Wisdom and steadfastness are important
It is necessary to have clear values, to be kind and generous, but also to be wise, not too casual, to do what you can, to give to those who are worthy of giving, to help those who really need help.
● Don't be swayed by emotions
No matter what the external situation is, the other party's words are harsh, but also maintain inner peace and concentration, not be swayed by emotions, try to control yourself not to say hurtful words, and deal with it with a peaceful mind.
● Respond with compassion
In the face of moral kidnapping, you can understand the plight and motivation of others with compassion, and more skillfully inspire and guide the other party to realize your own problems, so as to resolve the problems.