Maybe you have felt that when you go to school, at work, chat with others, and have different opinions, you are labeled as "extreme", and you are used to being silent, and you are still alone, and you are labeled as "self-righteous".
Anyway, you're not a "normal person" left or right. Over time, you become very uncomfortable, and you even try to change and please others because of it.
For a certain party, you deliberately prepared some topics, and you also restrained your emotions and gave others a smile. After the party, I was even more sad.
Does one have to be gregarious? Everyone has a different answer. But I advise you to respect your own nature and not distort yourself in order to fit in.
Haruki Murakami once wrote, "It's the nature of dogs to bark when they see strangers, but cats are not." ”
Obviously, the cat's behavior and habits look unusual, but they are uniquely charming. It explains the logic of thinking about living for oneself or for others.
When you don't want to be gregarious, learn the wisdom of cats and you'll know how to do it.
01
The cleaner you are, the more comfortable you are.
In the "Xiang Cat Sutra", it is said: "The coat color of the cat is pure yellow. ”
In "Cat Garden", it is said: "The ears are small, the head is round and the tail is pointed, and the chest is worth thousands of dollars without rotation." ”
The fundamental criterion for finding a good cat is "clean".
The fur is a solid color, and without variegation, it looks beautiful. We often encounter pure white, pure yellow, pure gray cats, and the owners care for them. If it is a variegated cat, the color is not messy, and it will also have a good feeling.
What's more, cats dress themselves, lick their fur and paws with their tongues, and groom their whiskers with their paws.
If you meet a stray dog and then a stray cat, don't compare it seriously, you will find that the cat is much cleaner. It can even be assumed that cats are not wandering, but just living alone.
There is a Jewish proverb: "If every man cleans his house, the whole street will be clean." ”
Yes, cleanliness is not done by a sanitation worker or nanny, but by all people who do their best to keep it clean and cherish the environment.
In addition to being clean on the outside, we must also keep our hearts and circles clean. If you don't mess with others, your life will be clean, right?
02
As a person, the faster you adapt to the environment, the more you can achieve yourself.
Ouyang Xiu got a painting, but he didn't understand the meaning.
One of his relatives told him: "This is a cat with a 'high noon' drawing. Because the cat's eyes are narrowed into a slit. ”
Cats' eyes, which change over time, also have certain rules.
According to the eyes of cats, the ancients could determine the twelve hours - a line of meridian and unitary, and Yin Shen Sihai was as round as a mirror;
The cat's compliance with nature also allows it to sleep well in the middle of the day and travel at night. It's incredible.
Of course, cats have also created the ability to catch mice according to the needs of survival.
The ancients said: "The upper jaw gives birth to nine kans, and the sound of the rat is broken in the anniversary." Seven cans catch three seasons. Can't raise it with less. ”
Cats don't care about being gregarious or not, they just cultivate themselves and don't resent changes in the external environment.
This is in line with what biologists say: "The fittest survive, and the unfit are eliminated." ”
People are mixed in society, and there is also a "law of the jungle".
If you are gregarious, there is a high probability that you will be "swallowed" by the group, rather than being lifted up by the group. If you want to be lifted, only if you have value in yourself.
After Zeng Guofan, a famous minister of the late Qing Dynasty, entered Jiangxi with the Hunan army, he was squeezed out by local officials in Jiangxi, and he was not convinced, and wrote a letter to impeach the officials in Jiangxi. Jiangxi Governor Chen Qimai was demoted as a result.
But the more he fought with the local officials, the more he got into trouble.
It just so happened that his father passed away, and he returned to his hometown in Hunan to guard filial piety for several years, far away from the rights and wrongs of Jiangxi. During this time, he spent time alone, reading, and re-establishing his image.
When he came out of the mountain again, his face was completely new, and he defeated the Taiping army and made great achievements.
In a society of intrigue, how do you make a big difference, at the beginning, it is not to tie up with others and entangle with others, but to be yourself. Zeng Guofan's change reflects the wisdom of cats and is an example for us to learn.
03
As a person, the more you can block the noise of the outside world, the more normal your three views will be.
Whether a cat is good or not, I learned a lesson from "Cat Garden": "A loud voice is a sign of might." ”
The same is true for people, if you are afraid that people will ridicule you, and you are afraid of the group excluding you, you will not dare to speak out, then you will be even more looked down upon.
Dare to express yourself and not be afraid of being refuted. Even if you are excluded by others, you can become a "mainstay", and your wisdom in handling things will be considered home.
In "The Rabble", it is said: "As soon as people enter the group, their IQ is seriously reduced, and in order to gain recognition, individuals are willing to abandon right and wrong, and exchange IQ for a sense of belonging that makes people feel safe." ”
Cats are a little weird, but they don't get in the way of their lives, and people are weird, and they shouldn't be a nuisance in life.
You can also say, "I'm eccentric, I'm happy, I'm poor, I'm happy."
As long as you are a person who is not bad and will not hurt others in what you do, then do it boldly, and as for what people are talking nonsense in the outside world, then just laugh it off.
Sometimes, if you make some people uncomfortable because of certain words, then it is uncomfortable. Don't bow your head because of this, force yourself to please the other person, and rebuild the relationship.
Over time, you will find that people who understand you, no matter what contradictions there are, will resolve them, and they will not be separated in the future. This is the relationship we really need, and of course, such a relationship cannot be forced.
04
Pure black cats are called "iron cats"; pure color cats are commonly known as "four seasons"; brown, yellow and black are called "golden silk brown"; black back and white limbs, white belly, named "dark clouds cover snow"; four claws white, called "treading snow to find plums".
What kind of "color" and "style" are you? You can never be good for others, you can only be yourself.
White cats don't have to roll into the soot and become black, and yellow cats don't have to run into lime heaps and dye white...... In this way, the smile is generous, the body is dirty, and the mind is distorted.
Others are gregarious, that's someone else, you're not gregarious, that's you, that's all.
Even if you live at the bottom of society, you should be respected, and the premise of being respected is self-esteem and self-love.
Life will be cold and hot, don't care too much, as long as you live enthusiastically, it's enough.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.