Writer Wang Shuo said: "The most shameless, insidious, and vicious praise in the world is to use the hardships and sufferings of the poor as inspirational stories to fool the people at the bottom." ”
Maybe the above sentence is a bit extreme, but it is not unreasonable.
Enduring hardship is an experience in life, and a happy life always has to be bitter for a while. But it is also the suffering that has achieved gains and positively changed fate that is worthy of praise.
Therefore, when we socialize, we take the initiative to stay away from those who sing the praises of suffering, and they are most likely not your nobles.
01
Most of the people who persuade you to endure hardships have a sense of superiority.
As the saying goes, "Don't persuade others to be kind until they suffer." ”
But all the people who repeatedly persuade you to endure hardships are people who are living a good life by themselves, standing on the outside, talking about things inside.
I've seen a joke: someone asked, where do pimples grow, so don't worry.
Someone replied that if it grows on the back, the arms, and the places where you can't see it anyway, you don't have to worry about it.
The questioner laughed and explained, the best answer is to grow on someone else's face.
Yes, what does it have to do with the ugly faces of others. The selfishness of human nature can be seen.
The thinking logic of pimples often appears in social interactions. This is to persuade others to endure hardships, to obtain benefits for themselves in disguise, or to show their superiority.
There is a family in our village, three brothers.
The eldest works outside the home and does not return home all year round; the second grows at home, manages the small family, and takes care of his parents; and the third takes his parents' money, goes to university, and later settles in the provincial capital.
My parents are very old and need to be taken care of, so we discuss what method to use.
The boss didn't make a sound, but chose to leave immediately, anyway, he went far away, and the whip was out of reach.
The second child suggested that the third child studied a lot and spent a lot of money on his parents, so he should take his parents to the province and enjoy the blessings.
The third child repeatedly explained: "It's not that I'm not filial, it's that I bought two houses and took out a loan of more than 2 million, and I'm still worried." You squeeze the second child, you can always take care of your parents. ”
The second brother retorted: "My brother has a mortgage, so he won't look at me, and he can't afford to buy a house in the county, and he can't afford a ......."
Unexpectedly, the third child who has two suites will persuade the second child who does not have one suite to suffer more.
When brothers and sisters interact with each other, they all have the possibility of calculating each other, let alone outsiders? It is a blessing to suffer losses, and there is nothing wrong with them, but it is another matter to suffer big losses and suffer dumb losses.
Being persuaded to endure hardships is mostly a trouble thrown by others, and the difficulty of throwing it out, you don't agree to it at will, but also know how to refuse.
02
People can endure hardship, but they don't need to sing praise.
On the "Look at the News" platform, there is a video that says that at 4 a.m., a "gig morning market" in Songjiang District, in the southwest corner of Shanghai, was crowded.
Many middle-aged people came to look for work and spontaneously gathered here.
Some people come to try their luck, and some people have made an appointment a few days ago to meet with the people who work here.
Most of the labor is low-level labor such as cleaning, picking soil, and moving.
Some people describe this as "the first group of people in Shanghai to wake up every day", and after reading it, they feel that it is very healing and can also motivate themselves to work harder.
Netizen "Angry Drop Nine-headed Bird" said: "If a society needs to use the hardships of the people at the bottom to contrast its own happiness, or to motivate itself to work hard, then I really have nothing to say." ”
There is no distinction between high and low labor, but a person who uses the labor at the bottom to show his superiority is prejudiced.
A truly kind person will not sing the praises of suffering, but will silently help and find wisdom in life from the group.
There is a story in "The World Speaks New Words".
When Gu Rong, the minister of the Western Jin Dynasty, was in Luoyang, he ate barbecue with a group of friends.
The person serving the barbecue stood aside, serving everyone, and showed that he wanted to eat the meat.
Gu Rong gave his share of the barbecue to the person who barbecued the meat.
The nobles at the same table all ridiculed Gu Rong and said, "This is a loss of identity." ”
Gu Rong disagreed: "How can there be a reason to hold barbecue meat all day long and not know the taste of meat?"
Many years later, the Western Jin Dynasty fell into chaos, and Gu Rong fled south, always having someone to protect him when crossing the river.
It turned out that the person who protected him was the one who served the barbecue.
Ask yourself, is it better to sing the praises of suffering with your mouth, or is it better to give a bowl of rice to someone who is suffering in life?
A very common analogy.
The employer asked someone to move, and someone arched his back, carried a refrigerator of more than 100 catties, and walked staggeringly.
The employer said, "You're awesome, you're doing a good job." "Obviously superfluous. A caring employer will lift the refrigerator to make it easier.
Instead of singing about suffering, it is better to send charcoal in the snow, which is the best way to socialize.
03
Suffering without saying anything is the minimum respect for others.
There is a husband and wife, the husband was originally an administrator of a certain company, and the income is good.
For some reason, the husband was dismissed. When I got home, I saw my wife with the baby and didn't know how to speak.
In the difficulty, the husband could not find a job, so he could only go to the construction site to pick up soil, and then get off work every day, change his clothes, and pretend to come back from the company.
Family days, business as usual.
Until one day, my wife said: "One of my fellow villagers has opened a small company, and someone needs to manage the network background, or you can give it a try......"
I don't know which writer said, "Love has eyes that see everything." ”
The wife knew everything, but did not expose it, gave her husband face, and then tried her best to help her husband find a job. This kind of love always brings tears to people's eyes.
The husband is very inspiring, but don't say it, because the husband also loves face.
Female writer Bi Shumin said: "Anyone who disrespects you, don't be friends with him or her." Anyone who doesn't like your independence, leave him or her. ”
If you don't help others, then please don't expose others when they are most miserable and difficult.
If you can let others get help after being exposed, then say it generously, cry when you cry, say it when it's difficult, don't let people walk in pain, and say "I have happy poems and distant places in my dreams".
04
Lao Tzu said, "There is no trace of good deeds." ”
In the social circle, the people who are really willing to help you are often those who have a show of effort, and they don't want you to reciprocate, and even taking pictures is superfluous.
When you meet someone who gives you money, a job, and then poses for a photograph and says a few heroic words, it's best to stay away.
Everyone has a period of time, with hardships and humiliation, but it is not "intended". The real intention is to enjoy happiness after suffering.
People come to the world as guests, and since they are guests, they must live politely.
愿你我，少加班，少熬夜，少吃亏，轻装上阵。
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.