In traditional Chinese culture, courtesy is a basic norm of life. It is believed that giving and receiving appropriately in social interactions can enhance relationships and maintain relationships.
However, in the seemingly ordinary act of gift-giving, there are also some taboos that need to be avoided. One of the most common points is that people talk about "five things are not sent".
The so-called "five things do not give" refers to the fact that in the gift-giving occasion, if some items are given to others as gifts, it is easy to bring bad luck or cause misunderstanding.
The most typical of these are clocks, shoes, pillows, pears and wallets. The reason why it is taboo to give these things is that on the one hand, they are homophonic with some ominous words, such as clocks and "end", shoes and "evil"; On the other hand, these items have a special cultural connotation that can have negative consequences if given away indiscriminately.
However, with the development of society and cultural changes, people's views on the "five no-gives" are slowly changing. Some traditional taboos are being broken by the younger generation, who pay more attention to the practicality, beauty and intention of the gift when giving gifts.
Therefore, exploring the connotation of "five no-sends" also gives us the opportunity to re-examine the wisdom contained in traditional Chinese culture.
Clocks and watches have always played an important role in China's long traditional culture. Since ancient times, clocks have become an important tool for measuring time, and they have gradually spread in society and are accepted by the people.
In the middle and late Qing Dynasty, clocks and watches became one of the symbols of the upper class to show their identity and live comfortably. However, when people give clocks as gifts to others, there are some taboos to be aware of.
One of the main reasons for this is the homophonic association of clocks with the ominous word "send-off". In Chinese, the pronunciation of the words "bell" and "zhong" is very similar.
For many people of the older generation, gifting a clock to a peer or younger generation inevitably conjures up the idea of "sending off the dead" – that is, giving it to death. This is naturally the opposite of the good wishes that the gift is supposed to provide.
Therefore, there is a saying among the people that "things are not sent, and if you send people to scatter wealth, they will be empty", which specially reminds people to be cautious.
Of course, with the development of society, this taboo is gradually fading. The younger generation no longer cares much about the association between clocks and "end-offs", but pays more attention to the practical function or creative design of the clock itself.
They can embrace and love creative timepieces as gifts. This reflects the changes in Chinese society's understanding of traditional culture. While we follow certain etiquette norms, we should also adapt to the development of the times and apply traditional wisdom flexibly.
In traditional Chinese life, shoes have always been the most everyday and indispensable items. As early as ancient times, people began to use shoes to protect their feet so that they could walk long distances.
In modern times, the function of shoes is not only in terms of practicality, but also in terms of fashion items that show personal taste and style. However, when it is used as a gift to others, it is easy to run into taboos.
One of the main reasons for this is the association of shoes in Chinese. The pronunciation of the word "shoes" is very similar to the word "evil", which represents evil. In the minds of the ancients, evil does not prevail over good, so things with the meaning of "evil" can easily be regarded as bad luck.
If you give your shoes away casually, it's like bringing bad luck or trouble to others. This naturally goes against the original intent of gift-giving.
In addition, there can be misunderstandings about the practical features of shoes. Shoes are often used for travel and are prone to wear and tear. If you give someone shoes, especially if you don't have much to do with them, the recipient is likely to interpret it as "send me away" and feel uncomfortable or embarrassed.
Of course, with the development of society, this taboo is also changing subtly. Nowadays, people pay more attention to the fashion of shoes and regard them as an indispensable item in their wardrobe.
Therefore, if the gift is given to young people who pursue fashion, designer shoes with carefully selected materials are more popular and less likely to have negative associations. This also reflects a shift in the understanding of traditional concepts in Chinese society.
We need to adapt to the development of the times and keep pace with the times in terms of etiquette.
Pillows are the most private and important items in people's sleep life. A comfortable pillow that suits you is often an important guarantee of high-quality sleep, which directly affects a person's working status the next day.
This shows the importance of the pillow in its own function. However, in traditional Chinese culture, pillows are also given more symbolic meaning than practicality, which is why it is included in the "five no-gives".
For example, the idiom "sit back and relax" reflects the relationship between the pillow and the person's state of mind and fortune. Conventional wisdom is that a higher head position is good for sleep, which can make people carefree and avoid disadvantages.
If you give away the pillow casually, it is like conveying your sorrow and bad luck. This is contrary to the good intentions of gift-giving.
In addition, pillows are closely related to emotional life. "Sharing a bed" represents the most intimate relationship and symbolizes a happy and happy life in marriage. Therefore, the pillow is endowed with the sanctity of love and marriage.
If you give a pillow as a gift without consideration, it is easy to create ambiguity, misunderstanding or suspicion, and it is not appropriate.
Therefore, pillows are extremely private items that need to be handled with care, hence this taboo. Of course, if it's just out of friendship, it's okay to send a pillow that cares about sleep, but you still need to pay attention to the other person's feelings.
It's also a testament to the wisdom we need to be flexible in dealing with traditional taboos.
Pears are one of the most common fruits on the table of Chinese. A bright pear is often lovely. Because of the various vitamins and nutrients they contain, pears are also highly recommended by medical experts.
However, in traditional culture, pears, a seemingly ordinary fruit, have been included in the "five no-gifts" because of some special cultural connotations.
The main reason is that the homonym of the word "pear" is very close to the pronunciation of the word "leave", which represents parting. In many occasions where the meaning of language is valued, such as weddings or birthdays, the pear is considered a bad thing because it easily conjures up images of separation.
If you take a pear as a gift to an important occasion, it can easily be seen as a curse on the good outcome and arouse the resentment of the host's family.
However, this taboo is not absolute. On other occasions, the pear has been given a completely different meaning – the reunion of eternal union. For example, on the wedding night, some areas have the Xi of putting a ripe pear at the head of the bed, which means that the husband and wife are reunited and have been together for a hundred years.
This is in stark contrast to the association of parting.
It can be seen that the understanding of the meaning of objects in traditional culture is often full of changing meanings. When dealing with the taboo of the five non-sending, we also need to pay attention to distinguishing occasions, deeply understand the mysteries, and not copy them rigidly.
The wisdom contained in this also reminds us to make use of flexibility and adapt to the development of the times.
Wallets can be said to be daily necessities that modern people can't live without. As a container for currency, bank cards and important documents, a suitable wallet often reflects the owner's taste of life.
However, in traditional Chinese culture, the wallet is also listed as one of the "five no-gifts". The reasons behind this are worth pondering.
First of all, in ancient societies, the wallet, as the utility of carrying money, itself represented wealth and blessing. It is a coveted and indispensable item for most ordinary people.
Therefore, if you give away your wallet, it is equivalent to passing on your fortune, and the other party is likely to have doubts or complaints about "taking advantage of my luck". This is contrary to the good wishes of gift-giving.
Second, in a traditional culture that values face, many people believe that an empty wallet can also be seen as a symbol of bad luck and embarrass the recipient of the gift.
Therefore, even if the wallet is given as a formality, if it is empty, it can easily be seen as putting pressure on others.
Of course, with the development of society, this taboo is now gradually diluted. Modern people see wallets more as a match for fashion clothing, and it has become fashionable to choose wallets that are simple and elegant or have a bold personality.
Gifting a delicate wallet to a friend or family is more likely to be seen as a thoughtful gesture. This reflects a shift in the culture's understanding of tradition.
We should also adapt to social development when adapting to the taboos of the past.
The taboo of not sending things from east to west reflects the rich linguistic and cultural connotations of traditional Chinese culture. Contemporary people can flexibly apply them on the basis of learning traditional Xi teachings in light of the actual situation.
Where the wisdom of the people lies, we must face cultural changes with an open and inclusive attitude. The most important thing is to keep in mind the original intention of the gift and convey the good wishes of friendship and blessings.
Only in this way can traditional culture be carried forward and developed steadily and far-reaching in modern society.