Teachers and parents all know that after an exam, there are always children who are emotionally exclaiming, "I won't study anymore!"
Many parents are lost in thought after hearing this......
At this time, parents should not be in a hurry to criticize the child, from this sentence, the child actually revealed his lack of confidence in learning Xi, which is a very dangerous signal!
At this time, the most important thing parents should do is to communicate with their children to see what causes their children's efforts to be disproportionate to their gains, and their Xi are becoming less and less confident.
Such situations are not uncommon for children in adolescence.
Due to their lack of life experience and immaturity, children who have not yet reached adulthood are prone to give up easily after being frustrated in several exams and not having fun in their Xi.
In fact, there are many manifestations of children's boredom in school, and parents must not think that only when their children drop out of school can they be regarded as boredom with school:
- Mild school weariness
It is mainly manifested as not liking Xi learning, resistance to learning Xi, lack of concentration in class, not completing homework, copying homework or coping with homework after class, etc., and mild dislike of learning, which is mainly manifested in ideological resistance.
- Moderate school weariness
If you put ideological resistance into action, you will not listen to lectures in class, and you will often be late or even absent from class, and your interpersonal relationship will also be problematic, and you will no longer be a good student who respects teachers and unites her classmates.
- High school aversion
Students who have thoughts and actions, develop psychological problems, are full of fear of Xi school, have low self-esteem, are reluctant to return to school, and dare not face teachers and classmates, such students often suspend or drop out of school.
Although there are differences in the performance of different types of students, they will have a great impact on the grades.
So, as parents, how can we help our children pull back from the precipice so that they can regain their confidence in learning Xi?
The teacher recommends a method to parents today: the traceability method. Communicate more with children, find out the reasons why children don't like to learn Xi and are afraid of learning Xi, and then use our actions to help them.
It's not that I don't want to learn,
It's that I don't see hope
[Reason]: I don't know my own advantages
When I was in high school, one of my classmates dropped out of school early and went home. I don't have much contact with him, but I remember that when everyone Xi on weekdays, I saw that he was also very serious in writing, and I could feel that he was struggling to learn, but the exam was at the back of the class every time.
He also has a strong inferiority complex, burying his head in Xi all day, so that he does not have the energy to think about his strengths and develop his potential. Later, he always told other classmates that he was not the material for studying, and he began to mess around.
Every school has such a type of students, they do not see hope, they are learning on the surface, but they are on the verge of giving up in their hearts.
The root cause is that they are not objective enough in their evaluation of their abilities, denying their abilities completely just because of one or two failures, their ability to resist setbacks in the face of adversity is low, and some even despair of themselves.
【Countermeasures】
In secondary school, discovering and realizing potential requires the help of teachers and parents to provide constructive advice based on their rich life experience.
Parents can encourage their children to follow their interests, and often where interests are where their strengths and potentials lie. But there is a problem here, it depends on whether the interest is in line with the environmental conditions in which you live, if not, and you are not qualified to change the environment, you must consider developing your sub-optimal potential.
Finally, and most importantly, it's important to have an open mind. There is a simple way to know your openness: you can list the things you don't usually like or even don't like in the notebook, the more the better, and then analyze them to see which of them belong to the principle problem and which do not belong to the principle problem?
Does persistence on non-principled issues limit your horizons? Does it affect your ability to discover and develop your own potential? The more taboos and restrictions a person has on non-principled issues, the fewer opportunities there are for discovering one's potential.
It's not that I don't want to learn,
It's that I don't know why I learned
[Reason]: The goal is not clear
If we want to talk about the real purpose Xi of studying, how many of us in middle school can clearly explain it? Everyone is different, and it is normal to be confused about this question, but it is not right to have the idea that we are tired of studying or that reading is useless because we do not understand this problem.
【Countermeasures】
The right goal setting is to decide what kind of life you want to live, and then choose the tools that will allow you to achieve that goal, so that your life will not deviate. For example, if your goal in life is to be a happy and contributing person, you can choose your tools after you have clarified this ultimate goal.
It is necessary for parents to communicate and discuss with their children on this issue, help them clarify their goals, help them orient themselves, give them a visible future, and reawaken their motivation Xi learning.
It's not that I don't want to learn,
It's that I won't learn
[Reason]: Low Xi learning skills
In terms of Xi time, this type of student is not inferior to the first or second place in the class. However, the endless pressure of Xi pressure made them unable to raise their heads, and the surrounding top students easily passed the class and even the top few grades, and they were still a mess and tired of their work.
Students in this situation are typical "low-quality hard-working people", their diligence is performed, to show others, but also to themselves, maybe for the praise of teachers and parents "you are really hard", maybe to let themselves not feel regret when they look back on the day, and comfort themselves when their grades are not good, "not because I don't work hard, but because my brain is too stupid".
But such children are also the easiest type of students to complete the transformation into good students in a short period of time, because what they lack is only an excellent Xi learning method and a period of peace of mind to manage and classify what they have studied hard Xi learned before.
【Countermeasures】
Tell your child: First, shout at yourself to stop. When you feel too busy or too blind, it is better to stop from time to time to make yourself more awake and do less useless work."
Then, do in-depth thinking about the basic knowledge, follow the teacher's Xi plan, master the basic knowledge of the textbook, understand the basic topics thoroughly, and be able to understand the class thoroughly, so as to become the king of the classroom and the king of efficiency. It has been proven that it is much better to use your brain to think through the basics than to learn a lot of knowledge in a hurry.
Finally, find a method that suits you and build your own knowledge structure. You can take the initiative to analyze the test papers after each exam, analyze the points of loss of each question, and carefully summarize the experience even if you get a full score. Which classmate scored higher than himself and which classmate made mistakes well, he had to humbly learn from the strengths of others to help him make better progress.
It's not that I don't want to learn,
It's that I can't learn
[Cause]: Low cognitive ability
This type of students, as the so-called students who can't learn, can take the same means to some extent, because "can't learn" is the result of "can't learn", and "can't learn" is the reason for "can't learn". When you go further and further on the road of not learning, you are mentally exhausted and excited, showing a state of "returning to the light". Congratulations, you've successfully transitioned from "can't learn" to "can't learn".
Studies have shown that from the seventh to the ninth grade, children's cognitive abilities are not improved equally, and children with high cognitive ability are significantly more prominent than children with low cognitive ability at this stage.
【Countermeasures】
Cognitive abilities include: observation, memory, imagination, attention. The relationship between parents, the family atmosphere, and the environment in which children were exposed will all affect the improvement of children's cognitive abilities.
Students who "can't learn" can quickly devote themselves to the tense Xi atmosphere after simply resting and improving their Xi learning methods. Students who are limited by their cognitive level and "can't learn" need to take a little time to relax their body and mind, thoroughly adjust their state, and relax their minds.
It's not that I don't want to learn,
It's that I don't learn
[Reason]: Emotional instability
Some students attach too much importance to the ranking of grades and the opinions of others, resulting in anxiety before each exam, which affects the performance during the exam and the enthusiasm for subsequent Xi.
Emotions have a great impact on academic Xi, such as curiosity, happiness, optimism and self-confidence, while bad emotions include sadness, anxiety, depression, etc. Adolescent children's emotions deteriorate quickly, and if these emotions are not channeled and regulated in a timely manner, emotional communication disorders will be formed, showing anxiety and anger, affecting normal life and Xi.
【Countermeasures】
In addition to perceiving children's emotional changes in time and giving guidance and comfort, teachers and parents should also teach children to adjust their emotions. Including self-motivation, verbal suggestion, environmental regulation, transfer regulation, music regulation, etc.
If the results are not satisfactory and there is a feeling of disappointment and anxiety, you must not be depressed, lingering, unable to let go, and unable to throw away. Tell your child that this is human nature, that everyone's grades will fluctuate, and that they should have a correct understanding of the exam. Then, listen to soothing music, relax in a beautiful place, or do a workout until you sweat profusely.
In short, if the child can say "it's not that I don't want to learn, but ......", then congratulations, this is actually a good phenomenon, indicating that the child has realized his own problems, and what we need to do is to take good care of the child's enthusiasm for learning Xi, and use appropriate methods to help them get out of the current predicament.
The influence of teachers and parents
Children are tired of school, in addition to their own reasons, do not rule out external reasons, after all, their minds are not yet mature, they are easily affected by external influences.
Teacher's reason
Sometimes the teacher's boredom in children has a lot to do with the teacher, especially in the first year of junior high school and the first year of high school, after the latter changes teachers.
Because at this stage, it is a process for teachers and students to get acquainted, and it is a long process, and many students, especially those who were "celebrities" of teachers in the past, will feel left out after the new teacher takes over, and become dislike the teacher, and then develop to dislike the Xi learning.
Some teachers use Xi grades as the only criterion to evaluate students, which will also lead to some students who are not very good in learning to be bored with school.
Parental reasons
Parents have too high expectations for their children, evaluate their children in a single way, only pay attention to the results, do not pay attention to the process, let the children bear a lot of pressure, let the children feel that they are learning Xi for their parents, if several grades do not achieve the ideal results, they will be reprimanded, frustrated, and eventually tired of learning.
Some students' boredom is one-sided, while others are caused by many factors.
【Countermeasures】
1. A little more encouragement: There was once such a student who was the first to last in Xi, but liked my class very much, because I respected him and encouraged him. I like to ask questions in a "train" way, and I may be the only teacher who won't bypass his questions, but I will throw him a relatively simple question, and in this simple way, I have won his trust and affection.
2. Less expectations: Moderate expectations can give children motivation, too big expectations, children are like snails carrying their shells, struggling to move forward. Parents have to learn to praise their children, just like when they were young, every time they learn a new skill, they will surprise you, and they will make you think that your child is a "prodigy", and now the reason why you keep hitting your child is because your expectations are too high, and no matter how hard the child works, it is not as good as other people's children.
Of course, less expectation is not that there is no expectation, and it is not "broken jars", parents without expectations, children also have no motivation to learn Xi.
3. Establish a goal: going to junior high school is to take the university entrance examination, and going to high school is to take the university entrance examination, there is no problem with this goal, but for many students, the goal is too big, too empty, too long, and will not have too much incentive for the child.
The reason why those online games can make children so obsessed is because they will set small goals for the game, so that once the child is in contact, he will not be able to extricate himself, if this method is used in the learning Xi, what will it be?
4. More changes: the most important thing is the child's own change, we must analyze whether we don't want to learn or because we don't want to learn to get tired Xi of learning, according to different reasons, find different solutions, for those who don't want to learn to set goals, for those who don't know how to learn, you should learn more from your classmates, especially the level is similar to your own, but the students who make rapid progress, their successful experience will provide you with direct and effective help.
To ask the teacher for teaching Xi methods, do not talk empty, to be specific, you can take your own homework, your own test papers, your own wrong question book, let the teacher help analyze, in the process of analysis, the teacher can find your problem, will give you advice, this effect is the best.