#文章首发挑战赛#
As the saying goes: "It is difficult for a clean official to decide family affairs, and every family has a scripture that is difficult to read." ”
If you want to ask which relationship is the most difficult to deal with in this world, it must be the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but in most families, this problem is always difficult to avoid.
Nowadays, many young people do not have the ability to live alone and maintain a small family after starting a family, and they always want to rely on their parents. In such a family environment, it is inevitable that the elderly will have complaints in their hearts, and family relations will become more and more tense.
Some young couples don't have money to talk about, and they don't do anything, and their parents not only have to bear the big and small affairs of the family, but even the parents have to buy the child's milk powder. And when his son and daughter-in-law were fine, they sat on the sofa and played games, and directly acted as a "palm shake." "After a long time, there will definitely be contradictions.
In fact, the premise of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is that husband and wife first live their own lives well, are financially independent, and when their parents have something, as children, they can have the economic strength to honor their parents, which is what children should do.
The most critical figure in the conflict between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law is the man in the family. Because whether it is a mother-in-law or a daughter-in-law, it is because of love for this man that they become a family. Therefore, if the husband is sensible, he should play the role of a lubricant in this family and do a good job of adjustment, so that a lot of unnecessary conflicts can be reduced.
Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, always maintain a bowl of soup distance, put yourself in the right position, maintain respect and understanding between each other, and have a clear sense of boundaries.
Because my mother-in-law passed away after two years of marriage, I didn't get along with my mother-in-law much. But most of the colleagues in the unit are women, and these topics are unavoidable. Most of the young girls complain that their mother-in-law interferes too much, and her mother-in-law cares about everything. In fact, this is the mother-in-law's sense of boundary is not clear, the young couple is married, the two of them are a family, and as a mother-in-law, you are an outsider, how they live is their own business. A colleague always complained: "My mother-in-law buys a lot of things every few days and sends them over, and the refrigerator at home can't be stuffed in, I'm afraid that her son won't eat well, and we both go to work, so we have a meal at night, how much do you say you can eat?"
I have a colleague who is very good at being a mother-in-law, her son's family has two children, and normally both of them are retired, so it is good to help take care of the children, but the daughter-in-law proposed to hire a nanny, but the mother-in-law didn't say anything, and gave her salary card to her daughter-in-law, telling her daughter-in-law that this is the money for hiring a nanny for the child. I went to Hainan with my wife in winter, and went on a trip when I had nothing to do in summer, and the old couple lived a very chic life.
Once when the two of us were chatting, she said: "This is very good, we want the children to come back to see the children, now with young people living Xi is different, the educational concept is also different, afraid of bringing bad children, she does not need us, we are quite relaxed, we can have a lot of time to go out and walk." "My colleague's mother-in-law has a clear sense of boundaries and doesn't get involved in the affairs of her son's family, and when her son gets married, he has his own family.
Therefore, we must all remember that after marriage, the husband and wife come first, the children come second, and the parents can only come third, and remember not to get the order wrong. Otherwise, sooner or later there will be problems in this family, because only when the relationship between husband and wife is good, the family will be harmonious, the children will grow up surrounded by happiness and love, and the parents will feel at ease when they look at it.
Because the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have different backgrounds, different growth experiences, different living Xi, and different education, it is normal for some concepts to be different. The greatest respect a mother-in-law has for her daughter-in-law is that she never interferes with their lifestyle and way of getting along.
The mother-in-law should not think about getting back the dedication to her son from her daughter-in-law. Of course, the daughter-in-law should not take it for granted that she is the mistress of the family when she marries into her in-law's family. Or think that the surname of the child you give birth to is the surname of your mother-in-law, and you are giving birth to a child for your in-law's family, and you directly throw the pressure of raising a child to your in-law's family, and only give birth but do not raise it, which is irresponsible for the child.
Therefore, the older mother-in-law should be more tolerant of young people, willing to let go, let them work their own, and give some help as much as they can when needed.
And the young daughter-in-law should also learn to respect the elderly, understand the life Xi of the elderly, don't think that everything you do should be, nothing is right, think about the day when we are old, more tolerance and understanding between each other, more happiness in the family!
I have read such a sentence that says: "Between people, it is an emotional account, every time you make the other party happy, you will deposit a little more, and every time you make the other party sad, you will deposit a little less." ”