Some time ago, a father's post complaining about his daughter went viral.
This father is from Chongqing, and his 19-year-old daughter is 163cm tall, a 985 college student, good-looking, and has artistic cells.
Seeing this, I thought he was showing off how good a daughter he had.
Looking further down, it's not a compliment, because the daughter came home from vacation for a while, and the old father was about to collapse.
The daughter's room was littered with clothes, the table was full of clutter, and the whole room was in a dirty and messy state, and there was nowhere to put your feet.
The little girl's room, which looked pretty, was sloppy.
In addition, when I am at home during the holidays, in addition to asking for money, I have almost no communication with my parents, let alone caring for my parents and doing housework.
The old father complained: "It's like a deaf and dumb person, really, not an exaggeration at all!"
In addition, spending money lavishly, relying on taxis to travel, cooking without eating, and having to order takeout by yourself.
When the parents say a few more words, they will make the same set of the original family: "I didn't agree with you giving birth to me", "didn't communicate with me", "I was yelled at when I was a child, and I left a psychological shadow".
The old father, who had nothing to do with this daughter, finally broke the big defense, and the whole network shouted that he would come to her mother-in-law's house to accept her, and would rather post a dowry of 200,000 yuan upside down.
However, the comment area said: Such an aunt and grandmother can't afford to post 200,000 yuan.
But as he said earlier, it may be that he is pampered.
Obviously, a person's character and life Xi are cultivated from an early age, and children cannot suddenly become sloppy, lazy, and selfish, which is a long-term process.
If parents dote on their children from an early age, do everything for their children's lives, follow their children in everything, and expect their children to suddenly become sensible and capable when they grow up, it is impossible.
I saw a news story before, a teacher in the first year of junior high school found that only 6 out of 45 students ate eggs when recycling breakfast boxes, which means that the remaining 39 eggs have to be recycled as kitchen waste by the food delivery company.
The teacher felt that this was a waste, and at the same time thought that it was an educational opportunity, so he changed the original Chinese class to a "egg understanding class".
During the lesson, the teacher found that many students did not know how to peel eggs.
When I saw the news at the time, I couldn't understand it, in my opinion, isn't it possible to peel an egg with a hand?
Even a three- or four-year-old child can peel an egg out of a pit, let alone a child who is in junior high school, a teenager can't peel an egg, isn't it a big joke?
My friend listened to my complaint, she said that the premise of being able to peel eggs is to have the opportunity to peel them, and now many children have no chance to peel them at all, because the eggs they eat are all peeled by their parents.
Think about it, how can a parent who even has to peel eggs for his children be willing to let his children do housework?
And the reason why parents do everything is nothing more than these two: one is that they are reluctant to do it, and the other is that they are afraid of delaying their children's Xi time.
For the first point, I would like to say that no matter how much parents love their children, they cannot accompany their children all the time, they always have to go to high school, go to college, always go to society, and always have to leave the wings of parents to live alone.
Parents should really cultivate their housework ability from an early age for the good of their children.
This kind of education is not only the most basic life skills, but also enables children to live a warm and comfortable life independently and independently in the future, no matter when and where they are.
For the second point, I would like to say that time is not a reason for children not to do housework, and appropriate housework activities can help children balance the relationship between school Xi and life, and develop the ability of time management and self-regulation.
If a child likes something that belongs to their parents, what will the parents do?
I believe that many parents can give their children directly.
But in a show, Qi Wei told a little story about her and her daughter:
Once, she wore a skirt, and it happened that her daughter also took a fancy to this skirt and clamored to wear it away, but Qi Wei resolutely refused to let it, so the two quarreled.
Qi Wei said: "There is no reason for you to treat other people's things as your own because you are young, and no one should be used to your fault." ”
This seems incredible to many parents, just a skirt, even if it is something else, the child wants it, and will do his best to satisfy the child.
This is the problem in many families, parents always regard their children as the center of the family, and let the children understand their place in the family.
The child is Xi to this kind of preferential treatment, and in this family, everyone should give priority to meeting his needs.
The first bowl of soup on the table was his, the only two chicken legs were his, and the best piece of meat on the belly of the fish was also his.
When the child is Xi to this preferential treatment from his parents, he will take it for granted that:
"I should eat the best, use the best, and all the resources in the family should be at my disposal first. Only what I don't use or don't like can be used by other people in the family. ”
Such children have been Xi to being held in the palm of their hands since they were young, and are regarded as the "little emperor" or "little princess" in the family.
They may never really experience what it's like to share, wait, or strive for it with others, because their every wish always seems to be fulfilled quickly.
In such an educational environment, you don't expect your children to feel sorry for you, because it is you who use your most selfless dedication step by step to cultivate your child into a self-centered person who does not know how to be grateful.
Spoiled children often lack the ability to live independently.
They have become Xi to the all-round care of their parents, whether it is trivial matters in life or moral support, they rely on their parents.
When faced with difficulties, they do not think about how to solve the problem, but look forward to the appearance of their parents to solve everything for them.
How can such a child be self-reliant and take on due responsibilities in his future life?
Some time ago, I saw a hot search, and the boy who complained in "Juvenile Talk" that he was forced to do housework by his mother was escorted to Tsinghua University.
And the boy's mother's words about housework have been praised to this day.
The boy complained that his mother always forced him to do housework, and he was already busy studying Xi by himself.
But my mother said: "The original intention of letting you do housework is not to torture you, but to hope that you will become a truly responsible and responsible man." ”
Doing chores not only benefits children in the present, but also lays the foundation for their future lives, and they will grow up with valuable life experiences that will prepare them for independent living as adults.
The cultivation of good Xi needs to start from an early age, but it is the child's life that benefits.
True love is not the love that takes everything and makes the child's childhood short and happy, but the love that is far-reaching.
In the process of cultivating children, every detail contains the wisdom of education.
Involving children in household chores is not a burden, but an investment, an investment in their future growth and independent living.
We should cherish such educational opportunities, so that children can harvest and grow through labor, learn to be grateful in giving, and become more responsible, independent and people who know how to give.
Therefore, as parents, we need to love wisely.
We need to teach our children to share and care for others.
We need to cultivate their independence and let them learn to face the challenges of life.
We need to let them know what society is really like and give them the ability to cope with the ups and downs of the future. this
This kind of love is true love, and such children are adults who can face their own lives in the future.