Preface
Cao Zhaogang and his wife's dream is to send their only child to Germany to receive the best education and look forward to the day when they can lead their daughter to a better future.
But her daughter has been gone for 17 years without any news, and even the two of them have cancer and have not shown up. What's even more infuriating is that their daughter has been admitted to a doctorate in Germany, but the old couple doesn't know anything, what made Cao Qian suddenly cut off all contact with her family?
The "suffocating" family of origin
Cao Qian was born in 1991 to parents Cao Zhaogang and Liu Yuhong, farmers in Lushun, Liaoning Province, who, like many rural families, have high expectations for their children.
Cao Qian has shown excellent grades since she was a child and has become what her neighbors call "someone else's child". It is precisely this high-pressure educational environment that makes Cao Qian's heart gradually have the idea of escaping from her family.
Cao Qian's mother, Liu Yuhong, was in poor health and failed to have children for many years after marriage. After Cao Qian was born, Liu Yuhong was even weaker due to heavy bleeding in her body, and doctors warned them not to risk having children again.
Cao Qian became their only daughter, and although Cao Zhaogang always wanted a boy, he also understood his wife's physical condition and could only accept reality.
Cao Qian has been raised as a boy since she was a child, and her short hair is proof of this. Although she also envied her companions' long hair, she never asked her parents for this.
Her parents have great expectations for Cao Qian, and she also strives to repay them. From elementary school to high school, her grades were always at the top of the school, and her awards filled an entire wall, but her parents' high expectations for her also made her life full of pressure.
In her junior year of high school, Cao Qian worked harder, and she longed to go to college in the south and get rid of her parents' control. However, when she expressed the idea to her parents, they were opposed.
They thought that Cao Qian should go to college in Liaoning so that she could be taken care of by them. Cao Qian was disappointed by this, so she went behind her parents' back to fill in the university in the south.
When the admission letter was delivered, Cao Qian found out that her parents had secretly changed her wishes. Instead of making a big noise, she chose to be silent.
This incident strengthened her determination to flee her family, and she received an acceptance letter from Liaoning Normal University, but it was not what she wanted.
The "Escape" plan
Due to the opposition of her parents, she went to Liaoning Normal University for two years to Xi study, she studied hard Xi and kept the first grade in her professional class, and later she learned that Liaoning Normal University would have a quota for studying abroad every academic year.
So she made up her mind that she must fight for this opportunity. In order to achieve her goals, Cao Qian ignited a strong attachment in her heart.
She studied Xi diligently, extended her spare time during the day to fill in knowledge points, and stayed up late at night to memorize formulas and example problems. She also took the initiative to participate in various club activities and actively participated in social practice projects to improve her comprehensive quality and competitive advantage.
After two years of struggle, Cao Qian's efforts finally paid off. She was honored to be offered a place to study in Germany, and when she told her parents the good news, she was once again met with opposition from them.
Her parents worked hard for her to pay for her education, and she gradually felt the hardships of life. For another request to study abroad, parents have a contradiction between economy and reluctance.
Cao Qian is well aware of the estrangement between herself and her parents due to differences over studying abroad, and she understands that she needs to win her parents' support through communication and explanation.
As usual, she cooked her parents' favorite hometown dishes, sat at the table with them, and talked seriously. She told her parents about the scarcity of the opportunity to study abroad and the importance of her future.
Although her parents were still firmly opposed at the initial stage, Cao Qian did not give up, she patiently communicated with her parents with a serious and sincere attitude, and constantly gave them a lot of information about studying abroad and her study abroad plan.
Thanks to Cao Qian's unremitting efforts, she won the support of her parents, who once again chose to let go and unreservedly sponsored her to study in Germany.
Cao Qian was full of anticipation for realizing her dream of studying abroad, and her eyes widened in the auditorium, listening carefully to the trainer's lecture on studying in Germany.
The study abroad program she planned is very meaningful to her, as she will have the opportunity to be exposed to different learning and ways of thinking, and to embrace the wider world. Although the road to Germany was long and unfamiliar, she was undaunted.
In order to be able for Cao Qian to study in Germany, her parents emptied their family savings and borrowed from relatives and friends, and finally scraped together enough 70,000 yuan to study abroad.
When Cao Qian arrived in Germany, she realized that her dream was not as simple as she imagined. Suddenly came to a strange country, Cao Qian deeply experienced the pain of an international student.
She had to pay the high rent and daily living expenses through work-study, and the living expenses sent in her were far from enough to meet these expenses. Cao Qian attends classes during the day and works at night, and she is very busy every day, but even so, she is still stretched.
In the midst of her struggle, she called her parents, hoping that they would continue to support her. At the beginning, the filial Cao Qian assured her parents to understand the situation at home.
As usual, she expressed her concern for her parents' lives and health. Although the parents are financially constrained, in order to support their daughter, they still work hard to raise money and send it, and do their best to support her.
Slowly, the financial situation of the parents gradually became strained. Cao Qian called less and less, and every time she called, there was only one subject: asking for money.
She seems to be concerned only about her own difficulties and needs, and is becoming increasingly indifferent to her parents' situation. The parents gradually became disappointed and dissatisfied, and their daughter seemed to become a person who would only ask them for money.
When Cao Qian asked for funding again, Cao Zhaogang finally lost control of his emotions, quarreled Cao Qian fiercely on the phone, and hung up the phone. As everyone knows, this will be the last time I talk to my daughter on the phone.
The daughter turned out to be a German professor
After graduating from university, Cao Qian chose to stay in Germany to teach, where she built her family and career, becoming a respected professor.
But her parents didn't know anything about it, and in 2021, Cao Zhaogang and his wife unfortunately contracted cancer due to long-term hard work and despair, and eventually passed away one after another.
In the past 17 years, although Cao Qian has returned to China on business, her itinerary did not include returning to her hometown to visit her parents, a choice that undoubtedly made her parents feel disappointed and heartbroken.
But we can't completely deny Cao Qian's inner struggle, maybe in the dead of night, she will recall the figure of her parents, and a trace of guilt and longing will spring up in her heart. It's just that these emotions are quickly overshadowed by the resentment in her heart, making it impossible for her to take the step of going home.
The relationship between parents and children should be one of love and care. But in them, what we see is the estrangement and misunderstanding between each other.
In fact, parents have done their best in the process of their children's growth. They love and educate their children in their own way.
While this approach may not have been perfect, it was the best option they could have at the time. Therefore, we should learn to understand and appreciate our parents' efforts, instead of blindly complaining and blaming.
epilogue
Family is a harbor full of love and warmth, and it is also the destination of everyone's soul. But in this harbor, there are often deep rifts hidden.
Communication between parents and children is supposed to be a bridge between each other's hearts, but in some families, this bridge no longer exists.
It is difficult to judge who is right and who is wrong, because every family has its own difficulties and dilemmas. We need to learn to talk to our hearts, only then can we better understand each other and communicate better, so as to avoid tragedies like Cao Qian's from happening again.
(Source: Whitewater Inspection)