Why is it so difficult for young people to live? Some people say that it is because the dividends of the times are gone. There is only Ma Yun of the times, and there is no Ma Yun era.
What a wonderful excuse to put the blame on the times. Facing my son, I spread my hands out: What can I do? It's so easy.
I am a science and engineering man, and I have a strong research spirit. Uncle Qian couldn't help asking: Why is there no dividend of the times? Who did it?
Of the 1.4 billion people, only 100 are willing to think about it. Wang Xing said: Most people are willing to do anything in order to avoid real thinking.
This article will break down for you to see: How do parents who don't want to think harm their children?
Comrade Mao Zedong stressed: The masses of the people are the creators of history, the creators of the material and spiritual wealth of society, and the decisive force for social change. Heroes come from the people and from practice.
The dividends of the times are gone, and it should not only be the result of Ma Yun and Wang Xing, but the result of the conspiracy of the broad masses of the people.
Young people do not have the dividends of the times, because the previous generation was too powerful, not only ate and drank cleanly, but also moved all the pots, and the ability of young people to create material and spiritual wealth could not be brought into play.
The previous generation was also born and raised by parents. Facts have proved that they are all very powerful, intelligent, motivated, diligent, able to endure hardships, ambitious, seize the opportunities of the times, generally achieve a great change in the appearance of their families, and some of them have completed the class jump.
They are so powerful, but most of the children they have cultivated with abundant material conditions and new educational concepts are far inferior to them.
This only shows that they are inferior to their parents in educating their children.
First and foremost: only one child
It is difficult to burn firewood alone, it is difficult to teach only sons, and it is difficult to pass the single-plank bridge. The teachings of our ancestors, which have been passed down for thousands of years, were decisively abandoned by one generation, and eventually harmed three generations.
Don't say that the state forced you to give birth to only one, it's boring to always take the blame for the country. Have you listened to the state's words in fighting corruption and advocating clean government, sweeping away pornography and curing mediocrity, opposing derailment, and prohibiting waste? Without your cooperation, the state would not have introduced such a strict birth policy, and it would have been revoked as soon as possible.
If it is not limited by physiological conditions, only having one child is still lazy and unwilling to take responsibility.
At that time, the fertility propaganda won the hearts of the people: fewer children and better children. Just like Chen Jinnan and Wei Xiaobao talked about anti-Qing and restoration of sight, anti-Qing is true, and restoration of vision is false, and the idea of fighting is actually to return money and women to themselves. Fewer children are true, better education is false, everyone's wishful thinking is actually coaxing each other to desperately pile money on the only child.
The biggest problem with an only child is the imbalance in family relationships.
- First, they can't afford the loss of their only child and strive to shield them from risks;
- the second is to compete for favor with children, resulting in children's wrong perception of their own status;
- The third is that the only son has less social interaction at the same age, and more outward comparison.
The inevitable overcare delays the growth of the only child. Many people are still babies psychologically in their 30s. Their parents, in fact, would rather their adult children remain attached to them like babies. Babies prefer to be attached to another baby, seeking love and security from each other.
Half of the turmoil in today's society stems from the only child.
Secondly, it is the arrogance and indulgence of material life
There is a widely circulated misquote from Eileen Chang's 1966 novella "The Resentful Girl":
If a child is born to inherit his busyness, panic and poverty, then not giving birth is also a kind of kindness.
Anyone who knows Zhang Ailing's life will know that this is not her own idea, Zhang Ailing dreams of having many children.
It's not out of the question for readers to take quotes out of context. You do live in busyness, panic and poverty, and agree with Zhang Ailing's words, choose to be "kind" and not to live, the unity of knowledge and action, Uncle Qian also respects you as a man.
However, those who give birth to only one, you say that it is good not to be born, then it is a contradiction. Why did you give birth to your first child "unkindly"?
Because of the guilt of their own unkind childbirth, they will make crazy amends to the child. The excessive satisfaction of children's material emotions reflects their own inner deficiencies, which originate from the resentment that they were not sufficiently satisfied in childhood. The guilt of feeling "unkind" to the child is also a translation of his resentment towards his parents.
Lao Tzu said: "Since you think that you have more, you have more with others." The reverse is true, the more people get for nothing, the more they feel that they are indebted.
They give birth to a child because they have a debt of the inner child that needs to be compensated. Their reproductive behavior is not because of the call of genes from ancient times, but for the salvation of their own souls. So, one is enough, and one has to be born.
This is how the poor child came into the world with the debt of his parents. Under the care of his parents and grandparents, he lived a life of arrogance and indulgence, and the result was inevitable. This is exactly the same trick as dealing with the enemy's child in three words and two beats.
If the body is not bitter, the blessing is not thick, and if the heart is not bitter, the wisdom will not be opened. Parents who keep saying that they don't want their children to suffer, father's love is like a mountain, and mother's love is like a sea, blocking between their children and good wisdom.
Third, it is an unrealistic life plan
The flip side of the infinite satisfaction of the child materially and emotionally is to unrealistically set up a life plan for the child that is not in the right direction and has too high goals.
In ancient and modern times, class jumps are extremely unlikely events. Dragons give birth to dragons, phoenixes give birth to phoenixes, and rat sons can make holes, which is the norm in society. The vast majority of parents don't know how to have a chicken baby, and it is a few who are desperately trying to change their fate, and the efforts of the poor three generations, the aftermath of the sixth generation, and the completion of the family promotion are already great legends.
There has never been a period in history when there was such a large area of chicken babies as in today's China, and almost all parents dreamed of lifting their children to heights that they had never set foot on.
For statistical reasons, 99% of these parents and children will fail. The spire is too narrow to squeeze in so many dreams.
The greater disaster lies in the fact that parents have never walked the road, but they can't let go of the fatherly taste to guide their children. A blind man riding a blind horse, no matter how good the child's qualifications are, will be led astray by ignorant and arrogant parents, who will not succeed and lose their peace.
In essence, it is the failure and impetuosity in the hearts of parents that translate into the fate of children in the name of love.
Solution: Try not to teach if you can
Uncle Qian has been educating for more than 20 years, and the first 10 years are full of spirit and a sense of achievement, and then he emo, like Krishnamurti's exclamation before his death, he felt that he had achieved nothing.
The more astute the doctor, the more he reveres life, and the more he agrees with the role of medicine and doctors in disease, but "it is only occasionally effective, always comforting, and never cured". Extended reading: "Don't spend money to heal frozen shoulder, my medical minimization principle: don't take medicine if you're not sick, don't look for a disease if you're not sick"
Uncle Qian has read more than 10,000 books, is familiar with pedagogy and psychology, travels through mountains and rivers to visit famous teachers, and after reading countless people, he has to painfully admit that the help of education and teachers for children is too limited. Rather than educate, it is better to select.
Every child is not a child, they are adults in the shell of a child. They can think about everything and do everything. As long as parents do not intervene, every child, attention to every child, will follow their own heart and find the path that suits them best.
As a parent, loving yourself and following your own path is the best gift for your children.
In addition to providing the most basic food, clothing, housing and transportation for their children, the most important thing for parents is to be a good example: a smart, diligent and hard-working father who makes money, and a mother who is emotionally stable and manages the family in an orderly manner is the greatest luck for children.
Making oneself, letting one's children be children, and making the world more peaceful is the greatest contribution that parents can make to the world.
Parents love their children, and they will plan far-reaching. How?
Uncle Qian in "First Principles Look at Parenting: Don't Look at Cute When You Were Young, You Are White-Eyed Wolves When You Grow Up", in almost every article, he is talking over and over again: Be a person, be a good example.
The meaning of the existence of parents is not to give their children a comfortable and prosperous life, but when you think of your parents, your heart will be full of strength and warmth, so that you will have the courage and ability to overcome difficulties, and therefore gain real joy and freedom in life.
——Lu Xun, "How Do We Be Fathers Now"
Beloved, there is no one else out there, only ourselves.
- You are bright, and the child is illuminated by you;
- If you are brave, the child will be full of confidence;
- If you love yourself, your child's heart will be filled with love;
- Your talent shines brightly, and your child will find his way with a smile.
Success is a by-product of talent, and the chicken baby is the last thing to do, and it will suddenly become clear when you are yourself.
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