What is the bottom line of a marriage, and under what circumstances is the marriage going to end?
I think the biggest bottom line of marriage is whether the two of you can live happily in marriage, which is the biggest bottom line.
1. What are we getting married for?
If we live well alone, and after we get married, everyone lives even worse, what do you want this marriage for?
What you desire, what you want to achieve, what you want to experience in life, you can experience it alone, what do you want this marriage for?
What is the ultimate goal of building a marriage?
Essentially, building a marriage is about satisfying things that you can't accomplish alone, and that's what marriage really means.
In modern society, children can be born without marriage, and children can be raised without marriage, but such a family will have some problems.
Because people are people who have been cultivated in this state of socialization, people will instinctively love others, and they will instinctively need to be loved.
It's a combination of human instincts, and it's not okay to separate them.
Many people say that you can enjoy loving and being loved when you fall in love, and you can also enjoy loving and being loved in marriage, so why get married?
The problem is that loving and being loved in love is not the same as loving and being loved in marriage.
The so-called difference means that marriage is a very close link between the two of you, which is different from falling in love.
Marriage is a link between two people in terms of law, economy, life planning, and common goals in life.
These links include the psychological level, the spiritual level, the practical level, etc., and the needs of these levels are kneaded together to make marriage.
2. What is the red line of marriage?
Many people will say what is the bottom line of this marriage? What is the red line.
The red line must be the level of loyalty, as soon as he cheats and betrays, then he violates the red line, then you will feel that this marriage will not last.
Or that he is lazy in this marriage, has various Xi, drug abuse, gambling, domestic violence and other behaviors repeatedly.
To some extent, his actions have triggered the red line of marriage.
Once he violates the red line, you have to give him a warning, and you have to let him know what the bottom line is that he can't touch.
So you have to have an early warning system in your marriage, but this early warning system is not meant to cause your marriage to break down.
Marriage breakdown refers to the breakdown of feelings before divorce is granted.
When you have expectations for that person, you have illusions about that person, your relationship is not broken.
If you feel that person can meet your material, psychological, physiological, spiritual, life planning, and wealth needs, your relationship will not break down.
He can help you meet these needs in all aspects, and your relationship will not break.
He can't meet these expectations and satisfactions, and he's extremely destructive, and in such a situation, the marriage will definitely fall apart.
3. Under what circumstances should a marriage be terminated?
First, the community of marriage is too weak.
Everyone must note that marriage is a process of development and accumulation, and the so-called termination is the dissolution of the community of this marriage.
Whether or not your marriage will end depends on how well the community of your marriage develops.
If you have been married for 10 years and this marriage community is still very small and weak, then you should leave this marriage.
Your husband and wife community is too weak, and there is no point in everyone being together, so we have to terminate it.
From the perspective of development and dynamics, we have to see to what extent your marriage community has reached and whether it should end or not.
Second, the emotional foundation of husband and wife is too weak.
Did you have a relationship foundation in the past? The two of you have a spark for free love, which is good.
If the two of you don't have a spark, you met on a blind date.
Then we have to judge whether the relationship between the two of you has developed? Whether the marriage has developed? Do you have any appreciation for each other when you get married first and then fall in love?
If there's nothing, then what are you two doing together?
Are the two of you getting married together purely to have a baby?
Third, marriage is not developed.
In fact, the development of marriage is essentially the development of your individual, psychological, material, career, interpersonal, and life perspectives.
If you don't have these developments, what are you doing with him?
Fourth, how about the mutual satisfaction that marriage brings?
It also depends on how satisfied the two of you are with each other in the process of getting along.
You say that the other party is a very good person, all kinds of pay, but as a result, you don't need his pay.
He pays bananas, you need apples, the two of you don't match, and the satisfaction of the two is out of balance with each other.
Fifth, marital conflicts have not been resolved in a timely manner.
Another is whether we can solve all kinds of problems and contradictions.
It is not smooth sailing in marriage, and there will definitely be contradictions, conflicts, and crises.
Can these problems be solved? Or is it that husband and wife are originally birds of the same forest, and they fly separately when disaster comes.
If you have an economic problem, can you solve it together? If you can't solve it, everyone is scattered, and when you encounter illness and cancer, you also disperse.
As soon as there is a crisis in the relationship between husband and wife, and the man or woman cheats, they will break up.
If the daily contradictions and the Cold War cannot be dealt with and continue to accumulate, they will also be dispersed.
4. Finally, I want to tell you that marriage needs to be managed.
If you encounter these problems, as soon as you encounter your husband's cheating, and you divorce directly without thinking about it, it can only mean that your understanding of marriage is too shallow.
Your husband dissatisfied, and you said that he had a character problem and wanted a divorce, how did you choose him in the first place?
Marriage requires skill to get along with the darkest parts of each other's humanity, and it also requires ways to enhance your conjugal community.
The management of marriage needs to see each other's shortcomings, accompany each other, and constantly find ways to solve problems in order to truly achieve happiness.
This article is quoted by Zhu Shenyong, I am Yi Hui, a marriage and family lawyer, follow me and be your exclusive legal counsel.