Dictation: Lin Fang
Author: Xiaoya
I am 45 years old and have been married to my husband for 23 years.
Forty-five years ago, I was born into a rural family, the youngest daughter of two older sisters and two older brothers. Due to the poor family conditions, even though I was the youngest, I suffered enough from childhood to have no chance to receive an education.
When I grew up, I was old enough to get married. Compared with those parents who are patriarchal to the extreme and don't treat their daughters as human beings, my parents still love me and have no intention of sacrificing my happiness for their son, so I can choose my other half.
Friends and relatives introduced me to someone, and I ended up choosing my husband, who lives in the next village. The reason why I fell in love with him was because he was good-looking, he looked loyal and honest, and the matchmaker also praised my husband for his strength, a good worker, and he could definitely support his family.
In this way, I got married and became the eldest daughter-in-law of the Lao Ding family.
Now that I think about it, if I had understood that marriage was not a matter of two people but a matter of two families, perhaps I would have been cautious and would not marry him as the eldest son in the family, let alone choose a family whose parents were eccentric to the extreme.
When I got married, I was full of expectations, thinking that I would be able to live a good life, but I soon realized that I was thinking too much.
First of all, my husband's family conditions are not much better than mine. Although my father-in-law has a job, he also has five children, and the family is living in a tight situation. When I got married, I didn't have anything, I had to live under the same roof with my in-laws.
Secondly, my in-laws are very eccentric, among the three daughters and two sons, the in-laws love the little brother-in-law the most, followed by the sister-in-law, and finally the eldest sister-in-law and the second sister-in-law. In other words, my husband has the lowest status in the family.
My husband has never read a book, he can't read a lot of big words, and he has been following his parents to make money to support his family, and his in-laws took the money earned by her husband and the dowry of her two sisters-in-law to build a two-story house for her brother-in-law, but let us squeeze under one roof with them.
In the end, my husband used to be a man who couldn't figure it out, he was responsive to his parents' needs, and he was filial to him, and when I had a conflict with my in-laws and his siblings, he would only talk about me, and we as a couple quarreled a lot.
Eight years ago, with the support of my mother's family, I had a showdown with my husband: "Either you take our mother and son out to work and live separately from your parents, or we divorce and my son is mine, even if I am tired and tired, I will not continue to be wronged." ”
My husband wanted to choose neither of them, and wanted to continue to talk to me about the big reason, but I didn't give him a chance, so I took my son back to my parents' house and had a stalemate with him for three months.
In the end, my husband compromised and agreed to take our mother and son out of here, and we came to the provincial capital to work, rented a house, and lived a peaceful life.
After being separated from my in-laws, my life was much easier. Although I have to work 10 hours a day, I often work overtime, and I have to do housework and watch my son's homework when I get home, but it is much better than being busy at my in-law's house from morning to night and wishing to get better 24 hours a day.
At my in-laws' house, I was a free nanny, not only feeding chickens and pigs, washing and cooking, but also being called by my in-laws. The most annoying thing is that the husband and wife are reluctant to do housework, and my in-laws not only let them come to my house every day to eat ready-made, but also often ask me to help my brother-in-law do housework and clean them. If I don't like it, my in-laws will cry to my husband and turn black and white upside down in front of him.
After moving out, not only did I no longer have to be called by my in-laws, but my husband's thinking also changed.
When we got a job in the city, my in-laws often called us and asked us for money. And with the support of my sister-in-law, I have already got my husband's salary card.
I said to my husband, "You give me your salary card, and you don't have to worry about the rest." When your parents call you again, you say that I don't give you a salary card and let them find me. ”
My husband hesitated, so I followed the temptation: "What's the use of you being so nice to your brother? Don't forget, I'm your wife, and this is your son." When you are old, it is our mother and son who stand by your bedside, not your brother's family. ”
It may be that my in-laws' excessive demands made my husband feel cold, or it may be that my training played a role, and my husband gradually fell to our mother and son, handed in his salary card, and did not pay attention to his in-laws' unreasonable requests, which made me feel very satisfied.
As time passed, the husband's attitude became more and more obvious. On the one hand, he is excessive, scolds his husband for being unfilial at every turn if he can't achieve his goal, and never understands his hard-working parents and younger siblings, and on the other hand, his wife who cares about him and cares for him, and shares his weal and woe, he begins to know how to take the initiative to protect me.
Three days ago, my mother-in-law called us again and showed us goodwill, saying that the family had two pigs and planned to kill the pigs on New Year's Day, so that we must go back to eat meat on New Year's Day: "This pig is raised by ourselves, the meat is good, it is definitely better than what you buy in the big city, and it is more cost-effective." When you leave, take more with you, and let my eldest grandson eat more to supplement his nutrition. ”
Although I don't understand what kind of medicine is sold in my mother-in-law's gourd, but I don't hit the smiling person head-on, and my mother-in-law is so polite, we naturally can't refuse.
Last night, I asked my husband what time he would leave, and he calmly replied, "Eight o'clock!" I bought a ticket for nine o'clock and arrived at 11 o'clock. ”
When I heard this, I was a little puzzled: "It's 11 o'clock? Isn't that time for lunch? It's not good to be so late! Your mother said that she was going to kill the New Year pig!"
The husband rolled his eyes: "If you are willing to work hard to kill the New Year pig, make the meal well, and let them sit back and enjoy it, then that's okay." ”
Hearing this, I thought of the experience of my mother-in-law calling for dinner in previous years. Every time we got home, the kitchen didn't turn on the fire, and sometimes we didn't even buy food.
My mother-in-law and brother-in-law took advantage of this opportunity to slaughter us as best they could, dragged us to the farmers' market, picked up the expensive ones that we were reluctant to buy on weekdays, and took several copies, and then stopped at the cashier counter and looked at us, with the posture that they would not leave if we did not give money.
Back home, half of these ingredients went into the brother-in-law's house, after eating, the rest were taken away by the three sisters-in-law, my husband and I contributed money and efforts, busy from beginning to end, and when we were on the table, the cups and plates were already in a mess, only the leftovers were cold, thinking that we would be angry.
Thinking of this, I probably understood my mother-in-law's thoughts. Over the years, we have always found an excuse to refuse to go back, mother-in-law It is difficult for them to take advantage, so under the banner of family affection, it is estimated that this time we will go back, even if we can not pay, the dirty work is ours.
This morning, we returned to our hometown, and at half past eleven, when we entered the house, we saw how ugly and ugly the faces of our in-laws and others we, who were late.
Instead of counting our in-laws there, I went to the pigsty, and when I saw the two pigs intact and the tools laid out on the ground, I couldn't help but laugh.
In the end, the New Year pig was not killed, and my husband was really fed up with his in-laws' family, so he unceremoniously exposed their ideas, quarreled with his in-laws, and dropped a sentence of "From now on, don't call us for dinner, I can't afford to eat" and left.
Looking at my sullen husband beside me, I patted him on the shoulder to let him relax. Although his family's actions are chilling, he still has our mother and son. As long as he does his part, we will always be there for him.
Seeing this, many people may think that I am not angry, and they don't understand why I didn't kick such a man who couldn't be carried clearly. However, I am just an ordinary woman with limited abilities.
My husband's income is twice as high as mine, which is the foundation for us to live in this city. I kicked him, at most I could support my son, but it was impossible to give him good living conditions, and it was even more difficult to train his son to become a talent.
As far as my husband is willing to correct it, he is a good man, so I did not get divorced. I'm very happy with my life now, and it's good to keep going like this.
END.
Today's topic: Do you have any good advice for Lin Fang? Feel free to share your views in the comment section.