Tap, tap, tap. Go closer. Look into my eyes calmly.
I have always been a charming stunner, gentle, affectionate, and rewarding. And smart, noble. My well-proportioned body is so colorful when it swims in a twist and turn, you will be happy to watch my quiet dance. Lo and behold, I coiled into a circle, faintly flashing my scales, warmly embracing myself, and this warm and cold embrace made my tough body as steel thicker and stronger. In heaven and earth, I am the only one who excels! The pick of the bunch!
Tap. Tap. Look into my eyes calmly.
Don't you like me shaking my body slightly like this? Don't you like my straight, honest gaze? Alas, my head was so heavy that I always shook my body slightly. Alas, my head was so heavy that I always swayed slightly and looked straight ahead. Go closer. Give me a little warmth, touch my wise forehead with your fingers, and you will see in the beautiful contours of my forehead, infused with wisdom, the dew on the flowers of the night. When I paint in the air with the twist of my body, I leave marks on my forehead, leaving behind slender cobweb-like patterns, leaving behind the magic of intricate intertwining, leaving behind the charm of silent action, and the silent sizzle of the road that my body meanders through. I was silent, shaking, I was staring, shaking—why was the weight on my neck so heavy?
I love you.
I've always been a charming stunner, loving the people I love. Go closer. Do you see my white, sharp, attractive teeth? - I kiss and take a bite at the same time. It doesn't hurt. No, it hurts a little. When I was in love with someone, because I was tender as water, I always loved to bite him gently, only biting him until a few drops of bright blood flowed, only biting him until he made the kind of cry when he was tickled. It's very pleasant, don't hesitate, otherwise how could those who I kissed come back to me and ask me to kiss them again. It's a pity that I can only kiss each person once now - how sad, only once. Give each suitor a kiss... This is too little for the heart that is in love, amorous, and longs for the integration of two feelings. However, only I, a heartbroken man with a broken bowel, can find a new love after a kiss, and he can no longer make a new love, for him, my good relationship, affectionate, and only kiss is unbreakable and must be unswerving. I trust you to talk to you about this, and when I'm done telling my story... I'm going to kiss you.
I love you.
Look into my eyes calmly. Isn't it, how divine and majestic is my gaze? Firm, straightforward, focused, like two steel knives, piercing the heart... I shook as I looked at it; While looking at it, I do it to take your horror, your loved, tired, submissive melancholy, into my turquoise eyes. Go closer. Now that I am a queen, you must come and admire my beauty, but there was a ridiculous time... Wow, what a ridiculous day! When I thought about it, I was angry—oh, what a ridiculous day! At that time, people did not love me and did not respect me; To catch me with all his conscience, trample me in the sludge, insult me - what a ridiculous day! Between heaven and earth, I am the only one who suffers! Suffer!
I tell you: come closer.
Why not love me? Wasn't I already a charming stunner, gentle, amiable, dancing beautifully, and harmless. But then people abused me. Burn me with fire. The wolf-resistant beasts trampled me with their terrifyingly heavy palms, opened their bloody mouths and tore at my soft body with their fangs, and I could not defeat them, so I had to eat some gravel and dirt to fill my hunger, and died in despair. Every day I was mutilated to death. Every day I was dying of despair. Alas, what a humble time it was! Now the forest of ignorance has forgotten all this, and will no longer remember those days, but you should have pity on me. Go closer. Have pity on me, on me, an amorous and dancing weakling.
I love you.
What ability did I have to defend myself then? All I have are a few white, beautiful, sharp teeth that can only be used for kissing. I ask, what ability did I have to defend myself at that time? It is only today that my neck bears this strangely heavy head, and my gaze is awe-inspiring, looking straight forward, while my head is light and my eyes are docile. I didn't have venom at that time. Oh, my head is really heavy now, it's not easy to hold it up! Alas, my gaze wears me out, and with two stones pressed against my forehead, these are my eyes. Although these two shining stones are priceless gems, they are terrifyingly heavy compared to the meek eyes and oppress the brain... My head is so heavy! I watched, swayed, and in a green mist, I saw you—you were so far away from me. Go closer.
Do you see: Even in times of grief, I am beautiful and moving, and love makes my eyes full of worry. Come, look at my pupils, and I can shrink them, I can enlarge them, and I can give them a singular brilliance, like the twinkling stars of the night, like all kinds of brilliant gemstones: diamonds, jadeite, topaz, rubies. Look calmly into my eyes: This is me, the Queen, putting on my crown, and the one that is flickering, burning, falling, and causing you to lose your wisdom, your will, your life, is venom. It's a little drop of my venom.
How did it give birth to venom? I do not know. I myself am innocuous.
In the past, I have suffered a lot. But I was silent. I lurked. I dodged in a hurry, and as soon as I could, I swam away. But no one has ever seen me cry, and I will not cry; I just danced my quiet dance more and more quickly, more and more gracefully. I was alone in dead silence, alone in hazel, dancing with a sad heart, but they hated my fast-moving dance, and preferred to beat me to death. But suddenly, my head sank - what a strange thing! - All of a sudden it became heavy. The skull was still so small and beautiful, still so intelligent and beautiful, but suddenly it became heavy, so heavy that it bent its neck to the ground, and it hurt my heart. Now I am somewhat used to it, but at first I could not move freely, only felt a sharp pain. I thought I was sick.
But suddenly... Go closer. Look into my eyes calmly. Tap, tap, tap.
But suddenly, my gaze also became heavy, becoming focused and strange... I freaked out! I wanted to glance sideways, I wanted to look back, but I couldn't, I could only look straight ahead, my gaze sharper and sharper, more and more cold, like a stone. Look into my eyes calmly. Not only did my eyes become as cold as stones, but everything turned into cold stones when I saw them. Look into my eyes calmly.
I love you. Don't laugh at my self-statement out of trust in you, I'm going to be angry. I have to open my amorous heart every hour, but I am always in vain, I am alone. My only and final kiss was so lingering and sorrowful, after this kiss, it was forever with my love, so I had to find another love, but no matter how much I poured out my affection, the listener was unmoved, and I couldn't take out my heart to show him, and the venom tossed me exhausted, and my head was heavy. Isn't it, I'm moving even when I'm in a desperate situation? Go closer.
I love you.
Once, I bathed in a rancid swamp in the woods - I like cleanliness, which is a sign of noble birth, and I bathe often. That time, while taking a bath, I danced in the water, saw my figure reflected in the water, and fell in love with myself affectionately, as I always did. I love beautiful and intelligent things so much! Suddenly, I noticed a strange new mark among the patterns I was born with on my forehead... Could it be that because of this mark, my gaze became heavy and as cold as a stone, and I had this sweet taste in my mouth? Just in this place on my forehead there is a black cross, and here it is—you see! Go closer. How weird, isn't it? But I didn't understand this at the time, I was just happy: what's wrong with more makeup. But on that very day, on the most horrible day of the cross, my first kiss became my last—my kiss became a deadly kiss. Between heaven and earth, my kiss alone is fatal! Kill people!
Alas!
You love precious gemstones, but, my lover, think about how valuable a drop of my venom is. This drop of venom is so tiny, have you seen it before? Never seen, never seen. But you'll get a taste of it. Imagine, my lover, how much suffering, humiliation, and vain indignation (which cuts my heart like a knife) to conceive this drop of venom. I am the Queen! I am the Queen! With this drop of venom I have conceived, I bring death to all creatures in heaven and earth, and my kingdom has no end, since there is no end to suffering, and there is no end to death. I am the Queen! My gaze is indomitable. My dance is terrible. I am beautiful! In heaven and earth, I am the only one who excels! The pick of the bunch!
Alas!
Don't fall down. I'm not done yet. Go closer. Look into my eyes calmly.
So then I swam back to the forest of ignorance, to my green kingdom. At that time, I was not the same person I used to be, I was terrible! However, as a queen, my attitude is naturally kind and easy; As a queen, my demeanor is naturally magnanimous, and I nod to the left and right. But they... They fled. As the queen, I nodded gracefully to the left and right, but they, these ridiculous fellows, fled. In your opinion, why did they run away? Why? Look into my eyes calmly. Do you see that bright light in my eyes? This is the brilliance of my crown that makes your eyes bloom, blinds you, turns you into stone, and dies. Don't fall down, I'll finish my last dance." Lo and behold, I coiled into a circle, dimly shining my scales, warmly embracing myself, and this warm and cold embrace made my tough body as steel thicker and stronger. In heaven and earth, I am the only one who excels! The pick of the bunch! That's me! Accept my only kiss that has made a good relationship—it contains the mortal sorrow of all who are oppressed by life! I am the only one in heaven and earth! The pick of the bunch!
Bend down to me. I love you.
You die.
In 1910
Translated by Dai Qian