"Nothing to do girl, something to do with the child's mother", actresses who are trapped by the identity of "mother", it's time to resist

I am the initiator of the topic of "Tea After Dinner Talk" Yun Gaixue, and today we are discussing the following topics:

Using children to reduce the dimensionality of the blow, stripping away the social identity of female stars, using the framework of "perfect mother" to bind women, and using maternal love as a cover to criticize and discuss female stars and qualities and people, is it moral kidnapping?

Let's get up in the comment section.

Yang Mi and Zhao Liying, the leaders in the 85 flowers, appeared on the hot search at the same time.

The reasons are all children.

First of all, Yang Mi, according to Hong Kong media, Yang Mi wants to spend 540 million yuan to fight for the custody of the child.

Related to celebrities is news with such a high amount of "gold", and the focus is generally on "how celebrities are rich," "so rich, really fake." ”

But in the face of Yang Mi, the discussion behind this news is: "Bring the child back." "She should take care of the children too."

It seems that Yang Mi's child Xiao Nuomi has won the love of countless people around the world, but in fact, many people don't even know what Xiao Nuomi looks like.

The child is just one of the safest and least likely reasons to criticize Yang Mi.

There are many controversial points on Yang Mi, but they are all opinions.

You said that she has no acting skills, she also has highlight moments, even if her current performance is a little superficial, the early years of "Wang Zhaojun" and "Condor Effector" can also be mastered.

said that she has been spinning in the ancient doll, and now she has also hired a line teacher, studied seriously, played with Qin Hao, and began to transform.

She is watertight, you can say that she is worldly and slippery, or you can say that she is transparent and brave.

Even if you say that she has a lot of scandals and has a close relationship with male stars, there will still be people who envy and say that if they are so beautiful and rich, they will have to fall in love a few more times.

As a successful professional woman, Yang Mi is difficult to defeat her with a single value.

Except: "Nothing to do with the girl, there is something to do with the child's mother," this point.

As long as Yang Mi's identity is stripped from a professional woman and positioned as a single "child mother", the attack will be invincible.

Wear clothes and hats, behave in the world, just say "unworthy" and "not like" the child's mother, and win.

The media and Yang Mi's ex-husband's family are also well versed in this, every time the ex-father-in-law comes out of the topic, Yang Mi does not come to see the child, she has time to play by herself and does not care about the child, Xiao Nuomi lacks companionship and so on.

Every time the news came out, the public was filled with righteous indignation, angry that Yang Mi did not love his children.

In the face of such an attack, even fans dare not refute it, and can only find information everywhere to prove that Yang Mi does often accompany the child, and the child is very happy.

But in fact, no one really cares whether Xiaoxiao Nuomi is happy or not, not so much that they pay attention to maternal love, but that they just need a point, a focus that can criticize Yang Mi from the perspective of universal values and male power.

This focus is Yang Mi's, and the vast majority of women's.

Strip away women's social identity, whether you are a big star or a small employee, as long as you are firmly limited to the identity of "mother" and the value of women is simplified, you can stand on the moral high ground to criticize without scruples.

Because women don't have to be perfect, but mothers must be perfect, so Yang Mi, so Zhao Liying, so Yang Ying.

Yang Mi, who is far away from the child, is incompetent, because she does not show herself to the public all the time to accompany the child.

Zhao Liying, who had her child, was incompetent because her child needed glasses to correct her vision.

They have also been accused of not respecting children's privacy.

Yang Ying, who has always been with her child and has a healthy child, is also incompetent, because she talked about the child's interesting facts on the show.

Similarly, no one really cares about Zhao Liying's children, whether Yang Ying's children are happy and healthy, what they want is only an attack point conducive to invincibility.

And when children really have something, the greatest malice often comes from these daily positions that say they feel sorry for their children.

Yang Mi worked hard to protect Xiao Nuomi's appearance, but passers-by and reporters were able to secretly take photos and post them on the Internet without scruples.

Yang Ying accompanied the child day and night, and fans and passers-by began to accuse the child of hindering her career.

The most extreme example is the 1997 abduction of actress Bai Bing's daughter, Bai Xiaoyan, who filled her door with reporters and crowds.

For the safety of her children, she pleaded with the media not to publish the on-the-beaten-day news.

But for the sake of news breaking points and traffic, the media ignored the situation at the scene and kept posting it in the media, so that the kidnappers accurately understood the dynamics of the police, and finally tore up the ticket, Bai Xiaoyan's life was fixed at the age of 17.

What's more, even years later, there are still curious people who ask her assistant who has left to inquire about the cause and effect of the matter and satisfy their curiosity, these people are the group of people who said that Bai Bing should better protect her daughter.

Unfortunately, even knowing that these so-called demands and concerns are not all good intentions, many women themselves still obey or even support this perspective of themselves, and they even hope more than men that they meet the standards of good mothers in a patriarchal society.

These mentalities hidden under the mask of being good for children are deeply unfriendly to women from a patriarchal perspective.

Dancer Yang Liping was once attacked for not having children, and an ordinary message received more than 10,000 likes.

The commenter who claims that having no children is the biggest failure is a woman herself.

Not long ago, there was news.

After the child played with the hydrogen balloon explosion, the mother was burned, got up and left as soon as possible to deal with the injury, and did not comfort the frightened child.

As a result, it was met with criticism, the overwhelming majority of whom were women, and they righteously accused the mother, and the first reaction was that they ran away to treat the wound instead of comforting the child.

Some people even say that as long as they are not dead, even if their heads are broken, and there is only a little skin, they must coax the child first.

It's right to love children, but mothers are also people, and when you become a mother, you are not worthy of self-help, and you are not worthy of living well for yourself.

To put it another way, even if mom has to be perfect, there is more than one definition of perfection.

After Zhao Liying posted a photo with her son, such a high-praise message appeared in the comment area: "I can't imagine how cool the phrase "my mother is Zhao Liying" is. ”

Similarly, my mother is Yang Mi and my mother is Yang Ying, isn't it cool? All moms who strive to be themselves, achieve something, and become the pride of their children and their goals in life, are also cool.

Rather than celebrating motherhood, the judges simply want to force a standard female sample from a male perspective.

Gentleness, self-denial, obedience, self-renunciation, renunciation of pleasure, courage to sacrifice oneself, and meeting the needs of the family and husband are the highest goals in life.

Such women are not bad, and there is nothing wrong with someone who wants to do this.

Just like in "My Human Fireworks", Xu Qin has the love to drink white porridge is also sweet, takes a fire extinguisher as a treasure, and is willing to be a standard "good wife" with a subordinate male aesthetic There is no problem.

But asking everyone to drink white porridge and hold a fire extinguisher as a good wife is a moral kidnapping, or this is a simple "kidnapping" that does not even have morality. ”

In a word, the mother's great maternal love is deep, but these should not become the shackles that bind women's lives, and cannot and should not become the absolute standard for judging women's value.

So everyone thinks that using maternal love as a guise to require women to be perfect mothers and must put children first in everything, is it moral kidnapping?

Let's get up in the comment section!