I saw a story some time ago, and it was particularly shocking.
The daughter has an ordinary family. The whole family will naturally like her like a pearl in the palm of your hand.
Among the family's favorites, the father preferred the small padded jacket.
When the father is young, everything is for the child himself.
Putting the children to sleep, bathing, and changing diapers is all done by the father.
But as children grow up, normal parenting behaviors in childhood become abnormal.
Growing up, the father remained indifferent to gender issues, showed no signs of wanting to let go of his daughter, and still bathed and changed clothes for his daughter herself every day.
He even slept with his daughter.
This behavior made my mother feel very embarrassed when I was a child.
Because of her daughter's growth, she communicated with her husband many times, she kept her distance from her daughter, and the women's college avoided her father, even if it was a close father and daughter.
But the husband was very upset when he heard this.
He thinks that his daughter is his own daughter and that being close to her is just a way to show him affection. There are a lot of twists and turns. Is it wrong for a father to express love?
This communication ended in vain.
Later, when the daughter reached puberty and began to live in school, the excessive intimacy between father and daughter eased somewhat.
When my daughter was 16, something finally happened.
One day, when his mother came home from school, he noticed that his daughter's stomach was "not normal" when she changed her clothes.
She panicked and immediately took her daughter to the hospital for a check-up.
The results of the test surprised everyone: the daughter was pregnant!
After repeatedly questioning her parents, the daughter finally told the truth.
It turned out that the daughter found a friend at school.
She and her boyfriend get along extremely closely. She felt that her boyfriend treated her well, just like her father treated herself.
Therefore, even if her boyfriend offers to have sex with her, she will only feel that it is just a way for the other person to express her affection. What's wrong?
This wrong way of parents and children getting along pushes daughters step by step into mistakes.
He doesn't know what a measure is.
She is unwary of any way of getting along with the opposite sex and is accustomed to all kinds of intimate acts between the opposite sex.
This inevitable parent-child relationship pushes the daughter to hell.
Parents have no boundaries, and children have no boundaries
It is true that too many parents are unable to maintain a healthy parent-child relationship and distance from their children.
The world-famous Beckham shamelessly kissed his daughter in public when she was 12.
The excessive intimacy between father and daughter has also been unanimously criticized by many networks.
Hong Kong actress Zhang Jiaxin raised her son as a lover, not only accompanied her son to bathe, but also forcibly kissed him in public.
Although her son has grown up, she does not shy away from it.
When he was 9 years old, mother and son took a group photo, and the son put his hand on his mother's chest.
Taiwanese host Wu Zongxian went too far. When participating in the show with his daughter, he openly stated: "The only artist on stage who can be touched at will is you!" ”
Under the footage of the media, he even deliberately put his hand on his daughter's chest to help her lift the bandeau dress.
Address your daughter with a yellow accent without any doubt.
At the press conference, he ignored his daughter's refusal and insisted on kissing in front of everyone.
The daughter fainted on the spot.
It's really poor and greasy. Not only did he not act like a father, but he also embarrassed his daughter in public.
According to statistics from the Foundation for the Protection of Girls, of the 210 known cases of sexual assault, 25 were sexual assault cases by relatives (fathers and daughters, stepfathers and daughters, adoptive fathers and brothers, relatives, etc.), accounting for 11.90%.
The devil is with us!
Only we parents can really protect our children!
If children's gender awareness and privacy are not cultivated from an early age, children can easily voluntarily fall into the trap of criminals and become lambs to be slaughtered.
Intimately
It is the true love for children
Do not think that for parents, loved ones, loved ones, close relationships do not matter.
According to the statistics of child sexual abuse cases in 2019 by the Foundation for the Protection of Girls, more than 800 child victims were victims of the 301 cases uncovered that year, with acquaintances committing the highest proportion of crimes, more than 70%.
Sexual assault cases by acquaintances, family members (fathers, stepfathers, etc.) and relatives and friends accounted for more than 23%.
Public cases are just the tip of the iceberg.
We always think that acquaintances = safety, because we know that for children who do not refuse, acquaintances are difficult to guard.
As writer Zhou Guoping said, "Love can be intimate, but it must have time".
"Female fathers should be taboo, children and mothers should be taboo", we summarize the ratio that should be used by opposite-sex parents to children.
When the child reaches the appropriate age, parents should remind him:
Parents help protect their child's genitals until age 2
Children at this age are not yet smart, and it is most important for parents to help their children establish the concept of physical privacy.
These include casually touching the genitals of children of the opposite sex, trying not to pull children's pants open at the crotch, and not allowing children to defecate in the open.
The purpose of this is not only to protect children's reproductive health, but also to develop a sense of self-protection from an early age.
When you can go to the bathroom alone, you won't accidentally open the door when you meet someone else going to the bathroom
Many children forcibly enter because of the "emergency", regardless of the people in the toilet; Some children are curious about what adults do in the toilet and usually break into it.
Parents must tell their children: when others go to the bathroom, they can't break down the door at will!
When the child is still young, let him develop such a correct habit, then when he is a little older, he will understand that when he goes to the toilet, he will not allow the "opposite sex" to come, which also protects his life. Invisible privacy.
Four years later, the mother changed her clothes and the boys could not enter the house; Dad changes clothes, girls can't look
Some children cling to their parents and even when changing diapers.
Some parents think it's okay, the child is still young, just look at it.
Such thoughts are dangerous! Especially when children are 4 or 5 years old and begin to have some curiosity about sex, if you want to draw a "sexual boundary" for your child, you should avoid it!
A mother can say to her son:
Mom has to change her clothes! Girls change clothes, boys have to wait outside, this is the little gentleman~
A dad can tell his daughter:
Dad changed his clothes! Dad doesn't look at you when you change clothes, and you are not allowed to peek when Dad changes clothes~
If there are children who are afraid of being alone and insist on going to the dressing room, we can play some small games with them.
For example, when a child knocks on the door outside, an adult answers the door inside, so they know that Mom and Dad are still with them.
Whenever a child enters his parents' bedroom, he must first knock on the door.
Some children who go to bed early break into their parents' bedroom every morning as soon as they wake up.
A sudden break-in of a child can cause embarrassment.
For example: Mom and Dad will face a series of problems when repacking.
Therefore, we must develop the habit of knocking on the door first when children enter the room.
Not only to enter the door of your parents' bedroom, but to knock on all the rooms first.
After the age of 6, help children establish correct sexual values
After the age of 6, the child's gender awareness tends to mature. This period is the best time to cultivate other sexual values.
Teach children to respect the privacy of others and the bodies of others, and not to touch or peek at the private parts of others.
The so-called "boundary" refers to the limit to which people can tolerate being touched by others, and understand what is acceptable and what is unacceptable.
Everyone is born with two boundaries – "physical" and "mental".
Only by cultivating a "sense of boundaries" can children better protect themselves.
Otherwise, the child is likely to be abused without knowing what is happening.
If opposite-sex parents are too close to their children in daily life, then children will naturally think that hugging, stroking, and sleeping with adults are normal contact and an expression of "love".
Then, if someone breaks their heart, they can't tell if it's love or hurt.
Helping your child set appropriate physical and mental boundaries is a sign of true love for your child.
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