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Recently, isn't Sister Lang 4 still on the air?
I see that many people have commented that this stage of Sister Lang was bombed from the first performance to the fourth.
For example, in the first performance, Qu Ying blew up the scene on the first stage.
With her wheat-colored skin and long slender and firm legs, she couldn't believe that she was 52 years old.
In the third performance, when the sisters performed "See You at the Next Crossing", they were also good looking and talented.
You find that no, whether it is the season of Sister Lang, as long as it is on the hot search, it must be related to "sisters are so curly and sassy".
It is said that they rehearse carefully, have strong business ability, and endure hardships and stand hard work.
Na Ying said in the program "Longing for Life" that she could only eat one meal a day during her participation in "Sister Lang".
It was also necessary to do strenuous exercise, resulting in a weight loss of more than 20 pounds.
When she heard that Zhou Xun was considering participating, she firmly advised Zhou Xun: "You must not go, you can't go, it's too scary!"
Let's look at the other end, the new season of "Brother with Troubles" is about to start, as can be seen from the past few seasons:
The sisters roll up and die on stage, while some brothers only need to paddle in the water, and someone pays for them just by selling feelings.
So, are the more and more curly sisters really a good example for the majority of women?
I don't know if you feel this way:
There are always more girls who use their spare time to study hard outside the home.
Last weekend, I just finished a three-day Storypower Certified Trainer (TTT) course. (Reply to "Story Power TTT" for more information)
The students in this class are quite diverse, from 28 to 50+,
25+ trainees are still soaring in the first curve of their careers;
50+, already looking for the second or even third curve.
But they all have a common goal, hoping to start their own knowledge side business and realize monetization through lectures and training.
However, there is one characteristic of this class - there are 20 people in the class, but there is only one man!
When I lectured in many first-line MBA lectures before, I found that there were more women than men.
Why do you say that women love learning and classes so much?
I also deliberately researched it for this reason, and I found that there are two main reasons:
One is that studying hard is an inertia for many women.
Remember? When I was a child, it was usually girls who learned well in the class.
Because girls develop earlier, they are better able to sit and perform better naturally than boys and girls of the same age.
If you study well, you can get the recognition of teachers and parents, and this positive cycle slowly becomes the behavior habit of "success depends on hard study" in the process of growth.
Therefore, when you become an adult, if you want to be promoted and paid at work, or get a class jump.
Then through classes, studies, examinations... To improve themselves is often their default option.
But many times, learning is not necessarily the only option.
Trying, trying, and trying hard doesn't necessarily bring the recognition you want.
The second reason is that I feel more and more deeply in the process of training and coaching.
Stand-up comedian Yang Li's sentence: "Men are so ordinary and so confident." Offended a lot of people.
But on the opposite side of this sentence, no one is likely to be convinced: "Many women are so good, but they are so unconfident." ”
Usually when HR comes to me as an executive coach, if the coach is aimed at male executives, most of the problem is not introspection. (HR's original phrase is "lack of self awareness")
And if the coach is for a female executive, the usual problem is lack of self-confidence.
And this "lack of self-confidence" is precisely because of "too much introspection".
Many women, regardless of whether they have a successful career or a happy family, have one common trait: love of self-reflection - specifically looking at what they can't do.
And no matter how good or successful you are, this kind of introspection is always there.
Naturally, what should I do if I feel that I can't do it and need to improve?
It's still studying and going to class!
But as our coach often says:
A person learns to use his strengths and do more with less.
But if you abuse your advantage, it can be half the effort.
An article in the Harvard Business Review titled "Why Introspection Doesn't Help Women in the Workplace" addresses several reasons:
First, women in the workplace are not good at using relationships.
Let's take the recent TTT students as an example.
There is a student in the class, so I'll call her Xiao An.
She and I were walking together before, and we were all from a foreign company circle, so there was my WeChat.
When she was on a leadership program the year before, we were coaching that program, so I saw her name on the list.
But she didn't come to me on her own initiative.
What about this recent story power course?
She also didn't say hello, and signed up for the class. It is said that it was not listed last year, and it was squeezed into the latest issue.
In fact, even if she sends a WeChat message to let me know, I will find a way to let her stuff it in.
Isn't the relationship just used?
What do you want it for?
Second, women in the workplace often lack honest feedback.
Let's take Xiao An as an example.
The arrangement of the course is to learn storytelling in the first two days, and on the third day, each person will try to tell a short paragraph, and get the teacher's comments on the spot.
During the trial lecture that day, Xiao An and another student, the two partnered together.
The result?
Of the 15 minutes of lecture, Xiao An only spoke for 4 minutes, and most of the time, she stood behind like a timekeeper, nodding constantly.
When commenting, I asked Xiao An very unceremoniously:
"Where is your presence?
Why did you pay the same money as others to take this class, but did not take the initiative to fight for it so that you had more opportunities to practice? ”
Hearing me say this, she lowered her head and said:
"Actually, I wasn't like this before, it's only become like this in recent years.
But no one ever pointed it out to me... Thank you! ”
After class, she took the initiative to make an appointment with my 1v1 positioning consultation, and she sighed: These problems have puzzled me for two or three years! If only someone had told me earlier!
So why is it so hard for women to get real feedback?
The article in the "Harbin Commentary" believes that because many people are worried that women are too glass-hearted to bear.
In fact, in my opinion, this is too low on us, right? Just because we cry doesn't mean we lack resilience.
Besides, feedback doesn't necessarily have to come from people!
Don't forget, people teach people, teach can't, teach people, once taught!
Last week, I was talking to the HR team of a foreign company about collaboration on a leadership program.
An HR colleague in charge of the Women's Leadership Program asked me, "We've trained our high-potential female leaders with coaches, but they still feel like they still lack self-confidence."
Teacher Gao Lin, what do you think we can give more to help them better? ”
I said very bluntly: "Don't give anymore, you give enough."
Let them do something!
In the process of doing it, accept real feedback to achieve real growth. ”
Why? Whether it's learning leadership or doing something else, optics are often inefficient.
For example, if you want to start a side business, open an official account, make a video account, and build your own personal brand.
No matter how many classes you take or how many people you ask, it is not as good as writing one and recording one by yourself.
The market will give you the most authentic and direct feedback.
As long as you can continue to follow the feedback of the market, adjust your actions, and finally find your own path and playing style, this is called really getting started.
In this process, continuous review, this is called the closed loop of learning.
That's why we leave a big assignment for our participants after each Story Power TTT training.
They are required to pair up in pairs to deliver a story power course to a company or individual within two months.
Online, offline does not matter, it does not matter how long, but it must be commercial delivery and money must be collected.
Because only the delivery of the collected money will they take it seriously, and the users will vote for them seriously with their feet.
From input to output, this is the first step from learning to creating.
So why only give them two months to prepare?
Actually, this is specially designed.
Aren't women generally introspective?
This is certainly a good quality. But with more introspection, it is easy to fall into "perfectionism".
Perfectionism tends to put them in a forward-looking situation when designing and building their own courses.
Today here is a little worse, tune it up;
Tomorrow something is wrong, change it again.
It's true to be meticulous, but as a result, deliveries are delayed again and again.
And two months, long is not long and short is not short, just stuck in the line where a person can almost complete the commercial delivery, but will not be overly entangled.
You see, DDL is the number one productive force.
In fact, for women with excessive introspection, DDL is the best boost to growth!
In fact, do you really think that men are good everywhere? I don't think so.
Compared to women, men have no fewer card points, and even more pressure in some aspects.
However, many men encounter problems and prefer to consult their seniors.
And I found that many men still have a psychological hurdle for going to class.
Asking your own seniors for advice, just exposing vulnerability to a person, is okay.
Going to the class to study, that is to expose vulnerability to a group of people, this pressure is great...
In fact, the real growth of both men and women is not to know more and more knowledge and solve more and more problems.
It's about constantly upgrading yourself so that the problem is no longer a problem.
Cover, illustration / stills from the variety show "Sister Lang 4"
- Zhao Liying officially announced her divorce: Why is it difficult for women to get a high-quality marriage the more independent they are?
- Earning millions a year, but can't afford the "face" of your boyfriend: how many strong women and weak relationships are pretending to be suitable?
- Learn to show weakness and ask for help! A person in the workplace will be very tired to carry alone
- Gao Lin: A true goddess, always thinking like the strong, occasionally low as the weak.
Brand cooperation| Training Consulting | Executive coaching
Knowledge Services | Reprinted in the open statement
May your heart be full,
Be spiritually independent and live as yourself.