Everyone has heard a saying used to describe the contradiction between the traditional mother-in-law and daughter-in-law called "how hard a woman is difficult for a woman", which basically means that in ancient times, the new daughter-in-law finally survived under the torture of the mother-in-law, and she also became a mother-in-law, and she could begin to torture her daughter-in-law, like a torch, from generation to generation! But what a pain!
The first person to customize specific rules for this fine tradition was Ban Zhao, a talented woman in the Eastern Han Dynasty. Why did this talented woman, who was highly regarded by the ancient men, transform her talent into a proverb that tortured women?
When it comes to the ancient women's code of conduct, the most likely thing for everyone to think of is the "three from four virtues", which is simply incomprehensible in the eyes of modern people, but in ancient times, there was always a reason and necessity for its occurrence.
In the process of the development of human society, men eventually become the masters of society, and women become appendages attached to men. Early human gathering is from the family to the family to the tribe, to the formation of a social group, of which the core is the family, the society is composed of a family, the stability of the family is related to the stability of the society, and the prosperity of the family is also related to the continuation and growth of the community. So slowly human relations began to become important, and humans could no longer be promiscuous like animals. After the gradual formation of class society, the ruling aristocratic class began to focus on safeguarding the interests and continuation of its own class, paid more attention to the human relations between the family and society, and began to appear the rules for the distribution of specific functions between men and women in the family society.
The core of Zhou Li is the primogeniture inheritance system, which is a valuable experience on how to continue the social status and property inheritance of their own family for a long time (specifically not detailed), and at the same time, in order to safeguard the interests of this male family and avoid being infected by spouses and divided by different surnames, it also puts forward the requirements of "three from four virtues" for women, marginalizing and appending women. The so-called "punishment can not be a doctor, etiquette can not be a commoner", the emergence of the early ceremonial system is aimed at the nobles in the ruling class, in order to protect the interests and continuation of these nobles, there is no slave and commoner class.
Confucius processed and produced the "Ritual Ceremony" on the basis of the Zhou Li.
In the period of Qin's unification of the Six Kingdoms, because Qin began by advocating the idea of the Fa, he was dismissive of Zhou Li and Confucianism based on Zhou Li. Therefore, although it is still a society in which men are superior to women, women's behavior is not bound by various Confucian requirements as later, the most typical of which is that during the Qin Emperor's period, the empress dowager's noble wife raised a small third called Yan Yi who had a penis that could turn the wheel.
After Liu Bang established the Western Han Dynasty, Empress Lü began to monopolize power, making a good start for the dictatorship of foreign relatives in the harem of the two Han Dynasties. Because at that time, qin's legacy was continued, the awareness of Confucian requirements for women was weak, coupled with the lack of experience, everyone did not have the risk awareness of harem politics, and Liu Bang, a big, did not care about these things, so the harem politics almost implemented the entire two Han Dynasties. At that time, in order to conclude the experience of the demise of the Qin Dynasty, it was important to rest and recuperate with the people, so although the great Confucian uncle Sun Tong was invited to formulate a national etiquette system that met Liu Bang's appetite, but in the most prosperous period of Emperor Wen and Emperor Jing, the palace was prevalent by the Taoist Laozhuang's inaction thought, coupled with the emphasis on filial piety, the emperor wanted filial piety, so the heroine's behavior had a lot of room for operation.
In the period of Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty, although the policy of deposing hundreds of families and respecting Confucianism alone was carried out, it was still only a unified understanding from the ruling ideology, there were not so many detailed rules, and there was no time to study the specific code of conduct of women, and when the ministers were deliberating, they would always open their mouths to talk about how the previous practice was a mantra, because it was not easy to make mistakes, which was conducive to keeping the iron rice bowl.
This also led to the later prestigious foreign relatives Huo And Wang's monopoly, and finally to the foreign relative Wang Mang to usurp the throne.
After the establishment of the Eastern Han Dynasty, the Confucian eunuch Ban Biao began to try to revise a history of the Western Han Dynasty, summarizing the process of its rise and fall, but it did not start long before it passed away. His eldest son, Ban Guzi, inherited his father's business and spent decades almost finishing the Book of Han, but because his foreign relative Dou Xian was implicated in the fall of power and imprisoned, Han and Emperor Han recruited Ban Gu's sister, then talented daughter Ban Zhao, into the National Archives to repair the missing part together. So everyone knows how good Ban Zhao is, Fan Ye gave her a four-word evaluation in the Book of Later Han: "Erudite and talented"
Ban Zhao married a man named Cao Shishu at the age of fourteen, and within a few years, this Cao Shishu hung up, leaving a son, Ban Zhao was like Li Feng in the dream of the Red Chamber, young and widowed, concentrating on raising children and godsons, one guard is fifty or sixty years, but whether his heart is also like Li Feng's "dead wood ashes" is unknown. At that time, people commented that she had a degree of moderation (contrary to the social atmosphere at that time, which was still relatively relaxed). Since the completion of the Book of Han, The Emperor appreciated her very much, so he let her enter the palace as a teacher for those empresses and nobles, so everyone gave her a honorific title called Cao Da (Nian Gu), which is a rare honorific title for women who are not imperial families in ancient history.
History is a simple repetition, the former Empress Dou interfered with the government and the foreign relative Dou Xian was killed by Emperor He, and after the death of Emperor He, Empress Deng became Empress Deng and began to interfere in politics. As a teacher, Cao is often invited to give advice. Is Aunt Cao happy to do such a thing?
I think she was unhappy in her heart, but because of the situation, she had to deal with it. There are many reasons here, first of all, he accepted orthodox Confucianism, fully recognized the requirements for women under the patriarchal society, and the harem interfering in politics is obviously not what a woman should do; secondly, with her understanding of the history of the Western Han Dynasty, she and that era can summarize one of the reasons for the defeat of the Western Han Dynasty is the disaster caused by the dictatorship of the harem;again, her eldest brother Ban Gu died because of the involvement of foreign relatives Dou Xian, which will also make her hate this kind of thing. At that time, no woman could recognize more deeply and deeply what a woman should do than he did. Therefore, even if Empress Deng invited her to discuss the affairs of the court, she only asked what the empress dowager said and what she said back, and did not say a word of superfluous words, although she received many favors, she was more disciplined and humble. It was also for these reasons that she decided to write the seven articles of the "Female Commandment" that had a profound impact on future generations. Its original intention was to exhort women in the ruling class to stay in peace and do what women should do.
Let's look at the specific content of this thousand-year-old "Female Commandment.".
The first article begins with an outline to position women, arguing that women are born a humble and inferior species. The basis of its discussion is the content of the Book of Poetry of the Zhou Dynasty, which says that in ancient times, if a daughter was born, Yu put her under the bed for the first three days after birth, gave her a spindle for her to play with, and sacrificed to her ancestors.
It is said that there are three meanings in this, placed under the bed to show that women are humble and inferior, to be humble and respectful, everything is before others, do not do good things, do not seek fame, do not make excuses for doing wrong things, bear the burden of humiliation, and always tremble and tremble. Playing with the spindle means that women should be diligent, go to bed late and get up early, do not be afraid to stay up late, whether it is someone else's or their own business, do not resign because of difficulties or ease, and do the results. And the sacrifice of ancestors means that on behalf of women, they should serve the sacrifice sincerely and respectfully, and they should be serious, quiet and guarded, with a serious face, and make clean wine and meat food, and take it to the ancestors.
She said that if women do all three things, do they still have to worry about bad reputations? Penalized and suspended? That's impossible. She wanted to tell the heroines of the harem that they should win honor in this way, not by interfering in politics.
The second part is about the establishment of the way of husband and wife, saying that since ancient times, only one-sided emphasis has been placed on how the husband should control the wife, but it is ignored that the wife should also learn how to serve the husband, saying that if a woman does not know how to serve the husband, then the way of the husband and wife is flawed. Therefore, women should learn "Etiquette" from an early age, learn how to serve a good husband, and basically learn to be useful when they get married at the age of fifteen!
The third part is about how a woman should serve her husband, and the core is respect and prudence. The theoretical basis is the theory of yin and yang. Male yang and female yin, male to rigid as virtue, strong as precious; female to soft as the use, weak for beauty. To restrain oneself is to treat one's husband with respect, and to avoid one's strength is to obey everything. This is the theoretical core of a woman's service to her husband. And respect is in the persistence, not to relax. And Shun means that no matter what is right or wrong, you must follow and cannot be angry. Speaking of husband and wife relationship, every day the room living room turns around, it is easy to slack off and act disrespectfully, if you accidentally speak in a bad tone, it is easy to lose your temper, and if you lose your temper, you will insult your husband, which is not OK. There are inevitably contradictions in the life of the two families, such as the husband is not doing the right thing, at this time should not think of justice for themselves, but respectful and obedient, otherwise the husband will shout and insult you, and even punch and kick, the relationship between the husband and wife will become uneffectional and meaningless! Alas, Cao everyone's own husband and wife life has not been for several years, and they have been widowed for a lifetime, of course, it is easy to say!
The fourth part is about women's code of conduct. Specifically, there are four aspects: women's morality, women's speech, female appearance, and women's skills. The so-called feminine virtue is to be chaste and quiet when idle, to be disciplined when observing festivals, to know the boundaries of honesty and shame when doing things, to have laws in action and stillness, and not to be talented. The so-called women's speech, that is, when speaking, we must be careful to pick words, do not say bad words, and then say it when things have a result or everyone approves, and the words spoken should not be annoying, nor do they need to have eloquence. The so-called feminine appearance refers to the love of cleaning and cleanliness, dress neatly, bathe frequently, do not have dirt on the body, but do not need to dress up beautiful and bright. The so-called women's skills refer to concentrating on doing a good job of weaving needlework, not playing jokes, and making clean and neat wine and dishes to serve the family and guests, without the need for special skills. The above four are the great virtues of women, which cannot be relaxed, and are easy to implement, and I always think that I can do it.
The fifth article says that women should be single-minded. According to the "Rites", men have the responsibility of taking wives in order to continue the incense to grow the family, but there is no saying that women serve two men. So the man is the sky, and under the heavens, the woman has no way to escape, and the woman has no way to leave her husband. If a woman acts against the will of the gods, the heavens will punish her; if she violates the lyocity, the husband will rebuke. There is a book in the "Female Constitution" that says it well: "Get the favor of a man, be safe for a lifetime, lose the joy of a man, and you can't lift your head for a lifetime." "So women want to do everything they can to please men." However, in order to please men, instead of letting women flatter and flatter their husbands, they concentrate on their husbands and keep their manners. What does that mean? Specifically, it is said that it is polite to do things, keep the place where you live clean, do not hearsay, do not peek at things that should not be seen (such as other men), do not dress up when you go out, do not get dirty when you return home, do not go to crowded places, do not peek at the doors and windows of other people's homes. If the action is frivolous, listening to the east and looking at the west, going home is dirty, scratching the head when you go out, saying things that should not be said, and looking at things that should not be seen (other men), this is not to concentrate on etiquette.
The sixth chapter talks about how to teach respect for in-laws and mothers-in-law. A woman should concentrate on pleasing her husband, but also please her in-laws and mother-in-law, because the in-laws are also part of pleasing their husbands. How to please it? The core is obedience. What the mother-in-law says to you is right, of course, you must be respectful, and if what you say is not right, you must also comply, do not dwell on whether she is good or bad, and argue about what is right and wrong. The "Female Constitution" said that the daughter-in-law's instructions to the mother-in-law should be followed like a shadow, like an echo, so that the mother-in-law does not like it.
Title VII deals with your husband's siblings. In addition to pleasing her in-laws, women also need to gain the favor of their uncles and aunts. The reputation of women is good or bad, it is from the evaluation of uncles and aunts, which is also part of winning the husband's favor, so we must also pay attention to pleasing them. And the core of pleasing them is to be humble with them. Humility will win their favor, and obedience is the virtue that a woman should have, and doing both of these things is enough to make peace with them.
How do you feel after reading the seven articles of the "Female Commandment" of the great talented woman? Women are born humble, have no status to speak of, see everyone must be obedient, the slave of life, the machine of work, the tool of physiology, is simply the bottom of the bottom. Of course, they also have the opportunity to come forward, that is, after they have a son, they wait for a daughter-in-law to bully themselves. If you can't give birth to a son, if there is no one to be bullied, don't say, the husband still has to hook up with other women, and if he gives birth to a son, he will ride on his head, then it is really a lifetime of only the stepping stone life. But at that time, the big Ru Ma Rong felt very good after reading it, and let his wife and daughter learn something. Ban Zhao also has a sister-in-law (the sister of her husband) Cao Fengsheng, who is also very talented and virtuous, and specially wrote a rebuttal article, according to Fan Ye's evaluation, "there are considerable words". What does that mean? It is that Fan Ye feels that the ideas in it do not dare to agree, but the literary style is remarkable, but it is a pity that under the patriarchal culture, such a good article, because it does not conform to the norms of Confucian thought, is only taken by him in one sentence, and there is no word in history. It can be seen that the harm of unified thinking, how many good things are still forever extinguished, and the dross of despotism covers every corner of history!
Why is Ban Zhao, a woman, embarrassed by women? Because she is deeply brainwashed by the patriarchal culture, because she deeply (philosophically) agrees with the patriarchal autocratic system, because in the patriarchal society, women want to show their faces like men (such as interfering in politics) there will be great risks, women want to gain fame in this male space, but also have peace in their lives, she wants to come and go, and only flatters good men, so she sorts out the truth she has realized.
As the saying goes, a woman's talentlessness is morality, or there is some truth, otherwise it is as talented as Ban Zhao, and in the end these talents are transformed into a shackle to women. A woman who speaks on behalf of a man, she is willing to suffer even if she wants to restrain her own kind, which shows how terrible it is for women to seriously guard widowhood!