The 26-year-old well-known e-sports anchor passed away, leaving a suspected suicide note saying that he had suffered from depression Informed friend: Say to distract, go suddenly
↑YammerS posted a Weibo location in Shanghai on May 22
At about 5 p.m. on May 29, YammerS, a professional commentator of the well-known domestic "Dota2" competition, posted a timed Weibo that was only visible to fans and suspected to be a suicide note. He concluded: "Please forgive my selfishness and cowardice, and please understand my pain and struggle." Good bye. ”
In this Weibo content that seems to be a suicide note, YammerS recalled his unfortunate life experiences - being bullied by his peers when he was a child, being physically punished by school teachers when he was studying, not being his parents' biological child, and seeing the "unspoken rules" of the workplace at his first job... After the article was published, it quickly attracted attention.
Misfortune came quickly. On the evening of May 29, another "Dota 2" event commentary blogger, @Esports Haitao, posted the news of YammerS's death, "and the police at the police station where the incident occurred confirmed many times that a deceased person with the name, age, and appearance of the deceased was recovered today, and the family has been notified."
On May 30, many friends and fans of YammerS also confirmed to Red Star News that YammerS, a well-known game commentator who was only 26 years old, had passed away in Erhai, Yunnan.
"For the entire esports commentary circle, YammerS's death is too sudden news, we know that he went to Erhai to relax, but we never thought that he would end his life here." The big head (pseudonym), who used to be at the same company as YammerS and conducted esports commentary together, said in an interview with Red Star News.
↑ YammerS's timed Weibo of the last suspected suicide note released before his death (partial)
"I've known him for 4 years, and I've never heard him mention unfortunate encounters"
In April 2019, the big head who graduated from college entered Shanghai "Firecat Live" to become an e-sports event commentator. It was also here that he and YammerS grew from being colleagues who commented on dota games together to becoming close friends.
In the memory of the big head, YammerS is very fond of esports commentary, "Once in the commentary, he becomes very enthusiastic, clear thinking, good rhythm, and passionate language style." What made him famous in the circle was the semifinals of the 2018 Super Major winners' category, when the LGD team successfully killed the escaping "two-headed dragon", YammerS's "Goodbye, baby" became a famous quote remembered by countless viewers.
But the 4-year friendship has gradually allowed the big head to see a more real side of YammerS, "Back in daily life, he did not show the excitement and chatter when he understood it, but more mature and calm that he should not have at his age." ”
"When I first met him four years ago, I always thought he was older than me because he had been on the job for a long time, and he didn't talk and behave like a 22-year-old at all." Datou told Red Star News that 2019 is YammerS's second year engaged in e-sports commentary, when he gained a lot of fans because of his "passionate commentary style", and also gradually became famous in the circle because he participated in many event commentary in a short period of time.
Xiao Zhang, another friend who has met YammerS part-time through the esports circle, has a good impression of YammerS, "He is very affinity and willing to lend a helping hand to help his juniors." Xiao Zhang told Red Star News that he and YammerS have known each other for many years, because they often meet offline with YammerS to find food everywhere to accumulate a deep friendship, "He also gave me a talisman ring, I have never taken it off in 4 years." ”
"YammerS has always been friendly to people after walking off the commentary stage, whether it is juniors or colleagues, and it will feel comfortable chatting with him." The big head said.
In a Weibo "suicide note" sent regularly, YammerS wrote that in March 2019, his father died of illness after enduring several months of suffering. "I also learned later that he himself was reluctant to talk to others about his family affairs, especially those sad memories." The big head said.
But the big head remembers that the passionate YammerS on the commentary stage also had an emotional loss of control after the broadcast, "Once after the live commentary, he went to the toilet alone and locked himself up, and did not come out for a long time." The big head told reporters that no one knew what happened to YammerS at that time, and he would only say that he was okay with his friends.
According to YammerS's description in the "suicide note", the sudden death of his father made his depression completely explode.
↑Screenshot of YammerS's previous commentary
"He often suddenly stopped talking and fell into depression"
Being bullied in childhood, being born without parents, being physically punished at school... YammerS wrote about the misfortunes he experienced in his life in his "suicide note". But for these painful memories, the big head told Red Star News: "Not only me, even close friends in the circle, almost no one has listened to him talk about these things." ”
On the evening of May 29, Datou and his friends in the circle received the news of YammerS's death, "Everyone is sad, people in the circle and familiar with him spontaneously remember in the group, but the content described in the article has never been heard of before." ”
YammerS was unhappy, and the big head could feel it, "He often suddenly stopped talking, and sometimes he was alone in a daze and silent, falling into depression." And for his long-term depression, many friends in the circle have also heard about it. Xiao Zhang, a friend of him, told reporters that YammerS often confided in him before his death, "I thought that he was willing to say it, it proved that it was not to the point of despair, but I didn't expect to receive the news of his death." ”
Although he didn't know that YammerS was not his parents, the big head could feel that the relationship between YammerS and his parents was indeed not like ordinary people. He remembers a business trip with YammerS, who walked out of his room at night to answer a call from his parents, "even across the wall, I could hear him roaring on the phone." ”
YammerS wrote in his "suicide note" that after the depression broke out, he talked to himself in his rental house in Shanghai and banged his head against the wall in pain. And seeing that he looks more and more like his biological father, he also feels disgusted, and even smokes himself ...
The big head told Red Star News that YammerS rarely tells friends about his parents, and rarely sees him returning from Shanghai to visit his hometown of Hebei.
According to Datou's recollection, before becoming a professional commentator, when working in "Fire Cat Live", YammerS's life was also not rich, "It can be seen that YammerS's family conditions are very ordinary, to live alone in Shanghai, it is difficult to support the income of non-professional commentators." The big head explained that before YammerS became a professional commentator of dota, according to the income composition of "Fire Cat Live", he could only increase his income with the help of fan tips and traffic sharing of live commentary, "The workload is full, and the monthly income is about 10,000 yuan." ”
In the memory of the big head, YammerS's nearly one year of falling in love with his girlfriend in 2022 may be the happiest time he has ever had in recent years, "He will generously 'show affection' in the circle of friends and record every bit of himself and his girlfriend." Big Head told reporters that as far as he knew, in the 4 years he had known YammerS, this was the only relationship experience for YammerS.
But in the end, the relationship came to an end at the end of 2022, and the big head told reporters that YammerS did not specify the specific reason for the breakup, he only knew that it was because of "personality discord".
"On the grounds of a bad mood, end the work arrangement early and say to go to relax"
On the evening of May 29, Datou learned the news of YammerS's death in Erhai, Yunnan, in the circle of friends in the circle, which surprised Datou very much, "I just watched his commentary on the event in Shanghai two days ago, and I didn't see anything abnormal with the past. ”
The Red Star News reporter saw that YammerS posted a photo on Weibo on May 22, in which he smiled and took a selfie with scissor hands in the mirror, this Weibo located in Shanghai, with the text "flash", was also set as the top dynamic.
The reporter noticed that in YammerS's circle of friends, its positioning from May 24 to 26 is still in Shanghai. The big head told reporters that YammerS arrived in Shanghai to give commentary on the "2023 DPC China League", which will last from May 16 to June 4 according to the schedule. "From what I know about YammerS, he's not going to retire early, especially at a top event like this, and he'll stick around until the end of the last commentary." The big head said.
On May 28, the day before YammerS's death, his circle of friends updated three pieces of content, one appeared in a bathing center, and the other two were video recordings of travel. The big head later asked his friend to learn that YammerS asked the organizers to end his event commentary work arrangement early on the grounds of bad mood, and said that he wanted to travel to Erhai, Yunnan Province.
↑On May 28, YammerS Moments screenshot Courtesy of interviewee
"No one thought that he would end his life here." For the sudden death of YammerS, Datou deeply regretted it.
On May 30, Dota 2 official also released news that "after confirmation with the police, Dota 2 official explained that YammerS has passed away. We are deeply saddened by the passing of YammerS. ”
"He borrowed money from many people during his lifetime"
In the process of widespread attention to the news of YammerS's death, Red Star News reporters noticed that many netizens said on Weibo that they had recently been borrowed money by YammerS.
The reporter noticed that Weibo netizen @ReasonQiyuji posted on Weibo on May 30 that he was borrowed money by YammerS at the end of March this year, citing surgery for his mother. On May 9, YammerS approached the dota editor of a website for the same reason to borrow money. According to its statistics, "YammerS borrowed money from more than 80 people for the same reason in the first half of this year, some of which have repaid the loan, and some have not yet repaid it."
As a friend of YammerS, Datou was also borrowed money by YammerS around March this year. The Red Star News reporter saw in the chat with YammerS provided by Datou, YammerS said: "Have you had a lot of money lately?" My mother is sick and needs surgery recently, can you lend me 5,000 yuan? I have scraped together more than 50,000 yuan, and I need a total of 80,000 yuan, which is really out of line. ”
The big head thinks that YammerS's borrowing behavior is too abnormal, "In fact, after I left 'Fire Cat Live', my contact with him became less, and he would suddenly borrow money from me, indicating that he had borrowed almost everyone around him." The big head told Red Star News that in the circle of friends, many people said that they were borrowed money by YammerS in the first half of this year, and the reason was to raise funds for their mother's surgery. But the cost of the operation that needed to be scraped together, the big head said that different friends received different amounts, "told me that he needed 80,000, but some people said that he needed 130,000." ”
"I wonder, how can the span of an operation be as long as half a year?" Datou told reporters that because he was also not rich at the time, he did not lend him money, "but as far as I know, none of my friends who lent him money received repayment." ”
As for the real reason for YammerS's borrowing money and the specific amount of borrowing, many former friends, including Datou, have no way of knowing.
Red Star News Reporter Yang Yuqi Li Yida Intern Li Peixin
Editor-in-charge: Ren Zhijiang, Editor Pan Li