What is most important in marriage? Believe that most people's answer should be love.
Admittedly, love is especially important in marriage, but it's not the only one.
A good marriage is not only enough love, it needs to be responsible, it needs the joint efforts of two people, not one person exploiting the other person in the name of love.
This kind of love, in the final analysis, is selfishness.
When you only think about yourself in marriage, then there is a high probability that you will not be happy.
Even if there is no problem for a while, after a long time, there will naturally be a problem.
The love that was once there will also be smoothed out by trivialities, and the person who loves each other will eventually become familiar strangers.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="8" >01: Marriage with only love is not far away</h1>
"Goodbye Lover" is indeed a good show, because the problems that appear in the show are almost all encountered by everyone.
If it weren't for the show, we wouldn't even think it would matter.
In the show, there is a couple named Wei Wei and Tong Chenjie.
Compared with the other two couples, the couple seems to have no contradictions on the surface, they cooperate tacitly in the show, and even show a love from time to time, making us mistakenly think that the two are not here to divorce, but to get married.
Although this is the case on the surface, in this marriage, they are actually very tired.
Wei Wei can move from Hunan to Shanghai for Tong Chenjie, ostensibly paying a lot for his beloved, but this is of little use to the woman, because he can't help anything in marriage.
Although the two were married, everything fell on Tong Chenjie, and it seemed that he was not each other's wife, but each other's mother, very tired.
Because of the unequal payment, there will be contradictions between the two.
For example, in the matter of having children, Wei Wei wants children, but he drinks and is not willing to pay in marriage, so Tong Chenjie does not want it, in her eyes, Wei Wei is just a small child.
Wei Wei loved Tong Chenjie very much, but what was the use of this?
He wouldn't make the slightest change for her, he just wanted to live in his own world.
Not only that, but he also has various requirements, and how to meet them.
At home, Wei Wei never cooked, although he did not cook, but he found a high-sounding reason for himself, saying that the reason why he did not cook was because he was afraid that he would cook the rice himself and the other party would have nothing to do.
I wanted to make her feel that without her, I couldn't live.
Isn't it ridiculous, obviously lazy, and can find such an excuse.
This sentence, which seems to be a show of love, is actually the greatest blasphemy against love.
Because the most important thing about love is to give to each other.
If only one person pays and the other person enjoys it all the time, then it is not far away.
They can not divorce, as long as Wei Wei can understand that only love is not enough in marriage, as long as he is willing to make some changes for this marriage, when he does, then they will be happy.
It is he who continues like this, has been overdrawn in love, and finally let each other become familiar strangers, so that the original happiness is gone.
In fact, in our lives, there are people like Wei Wei, whether they are men or women, which is really the case.
They only think about themselves, as long as they are comfortable, then the days can be as usual, but if they are not comfortable, then the days are not good.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="31" >02: In marriage, responsibility is very important</h1>
Love is different from marriage, when in love, you can have feelings to drink water, as long as two people love each other, then everything is not a problem, but after marriage, you face a lot of problems, a little careless marriage will be a problem.
In marriage, it is very important to be responsible for each other, because this shows that the two people see through the essence of marriage and will work together to manage their hearts, when both people do this, why not be happy?
Friend Meng Lu has been married for 5 years, we originally thought that their marriage would not be happy, because from the surface, she and her husband are not a good match, Meng Lu is good in both stature and appearance, and her husband is worse in this area.
Before Meng Lu got married, a friend had advised her to think about getting married again and not regret it when the time came, but Meng Lu still insisted on her opinion, and now it seems that her decision was right.
I asked her, why was she so determined to get married at that time?
Meng Lu said with a smile:
"Although at that time I couldn't see how the other party really was, how far our feelings could go, but he was a responsible person, a person who was willing to pay for love, such a person is rare and not worthy of trust?" 」
Frankly speaking, such a man is indeed worthy of trust, after all, there are many people in this society who are greasy and slippery, but there are too few people who put you in your heart on the ground.
Marriage is never a verbal promise to do much for you, nor is it a cover of love to give you an illusion.
There are always some men who feel that they are very smart, thinking that as long as they use sweet words, they can conquer women and let the other party and themselves live a life of death, which is actually wrong.
Women may temporarily lose themselves in love, but they will never be lost all the time.
If she feels that she is happy, then naturally she will cherish it, and if she feels unhappy, then it may be time to leave.
Don't complain about a woman's departure at any time, because the reason she left, most likely, is caused by you.
Hopefully, all men can take responsibility in marriage, and only in this way will the castle of marriage be unbreakable and each other happy.
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About the Author:
Su Xiaobei is a writer of cutting-edge emotions. Hope that with simple words, it can warm you.