♪ You are so special, how can I be disappointed ♫
Every day at 9:30 a.m., Sister Yi is waiting for you here
Text | Sister Yi (Zhou Guiyi) Sister Shan
"I, Ren Jiaxuan Selina, I'm ~pregnant~!"
On March 13, Selina suddenly admitted the happy news of her pregnancy on Weibo. Currently 12 weeks pregnant, her little name is "Little Cashew", and I hope he/she is a happy child.
Selina also posted B-ultrasound photos of small cashews and "Daddy's Maternity and Parenting" and "Maternal Health Handbook", and the excitement and joy on the screen almost overflowed the screen.
One year ago, she wrote an oil poem on Weibo and admitted that she was in love with a boy 7 years younger, "a woman has forty-one flowers, and a lucky love is budding."
One year later, she wrote another oil poem to officially announce the news of her pregnancy, "Forty-one flowers for a woman, lucky life is budding."
Comments began to appear on the Internet, ah, finally having children, it's not easy, hurry up and "complete". It feels like she is finally happy "henceforth".
So, in just 1 year, has she really changed from the crying girl who was hit by fate?
Selina is a typical, traditional-thinking girl, yearning for marriage, projecting her own value and love, and binding it very closely.
For the first half of Selina's life, she was a little princess living in pink bubbles.
She has liked to sing and dance since she was a child, and won the first place in the Taiwan talent show "Universe 2000 Strength Beautiful Girl Selection Competition" at the age of 19, and made her debut with Tian Fuzhen and Chen Jiahua to form a girl group S.H.E.
Before their debut, some insiders said that they would disappear after only three albums. But fate favored them, from their debut to being well known, they only used the kung fu of one album.
When I was in middle school, I also treasured S.H.E. tapes, the Super Star, which simply fascinated me.
When S.H.E was at its hottest, she was the most popular "S.H.E Most Beautiful Princess" in the entire group.
I love all pink things, I wear a beautiful little dress every day, I comb my hair with a flat comb all day long, and if there is a mirror nearby when chatting with someone, then she will definitely look at the mirror instead of talking to the person... The princess is completely infallible.
Moreover, she said that she likes to fall in love and set her life goals early on - to get married before the age of 30, have a child, and have a husband and children.
Only a real girl, when she is in love at the age of 40, has to carry a bear backpack, so that she can have such a deer-like excitement and happiness.
Fate is cruel, because, she really almost entered the idol drama.
At the age of 29, Zhang Chengzhong, her boyfriend who was excellent in all aspects, who talked about talking, education, family lineage, and was excellent in all aspects, performed a marriage proposal scene at the concert.
At that time, she had everything.
Until that fire destroyed everything and came to an abrupt end.
(More than ten days after the engagement, on the filming site of "I Have a Date with Spring", there was an explosion scene in which Selina accidentally burned.) ）
Because of her inferiority, Selina twice proposed to withdraw from the marriage, but Zhang Chengzhong did not agree.
Later, we understood that the wedding was the only option for Zhang Chengzhong not to be nailed to the "scumbag shame column". In order to escape public opinion, Zhang Cheng chose to marry Selina as soon as possible, so that she who had not yet recovered well was sitting to complete the wedding.
I don't want to dwell on Zhang Chengzhong's ups and downs in marriage, and there is no need to discuss who is right and who is wrong in divorce, because Zhang Chengzhong is only a person, not a god, and he has his own cowardice, avoidance, and self-preservation, which are all very normal.
The only thing I want to say is that a fire and a divorce completely destroyed the "happiness" that a little girl identified. The most she said to herself after the burn incident was: I will never be beautiful again.
When pretending to be a casual joke with a friend, I will say: I should be a safe friend for women now, they don't have to worry that the other half will like me, and men will not think I am sexy.
In 2019's "Daughters in Love", he began to worry before he saw the male guest, saying that his last date was 10 years ago.
When Zhang Xuanrui chose to date her, her first reaction was: You may have a bad brain to like me.
At that time, she confessed that she still believed in love, but did not believe that love would happen to her.
The marriage was doomed, but the burns and the pain of divorce had left her with no confidence.
Two years after the divorce, she was just starting to smile a little when her dog Pinky, who had been with her for 15 years, passed away.
Later, Selina lost her proud "voice" since childhood, could not control the pitch, and ran all over the hospital, and the doctor only gave an ambiguous explanation such as "it may be too much pressure".
Over the years, Selina's life has been really hard.
Why don't I want to, the public can easily evaluate whether Selina is happy, because, after experiencing so much her, if there is no more growth, she has to return to the thinking of 20 years old, follow the basic cognition of the public, according to "having a good husband is happiness" and "having children is happiness", I think it is too cruel.
Because Selina's entire life experience has been answering the question: all external things that need to be given by others are the easiest to take away.
Today the new boy is friendly, she is happy, so what about tomorrow, the other party accidentally cheats, she is miserable again?
If she has a child today, she will be happy, but what about tomorrow, because the old injury of giving birth to a child recurs, and she is miserable again?
But please, who is qualified to know better than her what it means to be really miserable.
When she recovered, she was so painful that she fainted several times, and she saw the picture of blood spurting out after the skin was too tight and broken, and for a while she felt that she did not feel like a living person.
(Selina burns up to 54 percent of her whole body and 41 percent of her third-degree burns, with her legs being the worst.) For skin grafting, she shaved her hair, removed her scalp one by one, and endured the pain of gouging bones with a knife. ）
When it was most painful, she thought of suicide.
From such a situation, to today, she can no longer avoid the scars and generously post her deformed hands in the VLOG.
You can become more and more relaxed, and spend the whole year traveling and gathering with family and friends.
I can celebrate my birthday for many rounds and enjoy it super much.
Everyone still only judges her by criteria such as marriage and childbirth, which is shallow.
Of course, I understand and believe that good love will have a healing effect, and even difficult days are shining and full of joy.
(Selina is so happy now that even Ella can't help but sigh: she's falling in love again like a 16-year-old girl, and her whole body is emitting pink bubbles, which is really precious.) ）
But I have to admit that among all the healings, what I want to see more is Selina's self-healing and growth.
At the age of 38, in "Women 30+", the former "crying little princess" showed a particularly different side, she said that "wrinkles are nothing compared to the scars on her body".
She said that on the 10th anniversary of the injury, I plan to hold a running table.
In the past, I always asked myself to be "strong", but then I found that the meaning of life is not to be strong, but to be happy, and if there is no happiness, a strong life is just a hard life day by day.
Psychologist Jung couldn't have been more appropriate to apply to Selina, saying that everyone has two lives. The first time is to live for others to see, and the second time is to live for yourself. Second life, often from the age of 40.
Selina said in the program "Facing the Task" that with the increase of experience and age, she has reached the best age of her life at the age of 38 or 39.
The encounter with her new boyfriend was not accidental, but the result of her initiative.
She began to fall in love in middle school, but at this age she understood that love also needs to be learned and needs to work hard to create opportunities.
Previously, she had a small social circle and began to try to expand her social circle. Last year, she tried her first attempt at a nightclub, where she met her current boyfriend, Xiao Xu, a friend of her sister's friend.
She no longer resists falling in love, and when she finds that she can talk to friends, she will take the initiative to ask out to dinner and create opportunities.
In the past, she wrote in "3 Warmth of Love", and once whispered for love to accommodate each other.
But at the moment, no matter how sweet love is, she will no longer throw herself into the cold wind for anyone.
Although this love is sweet, Selina pays attention to protecting privacy, and does not think of announcing the appearance of her amateur boyfriend to the public, and plays mosaics for him every time she posts photos.
But my mother was probably too satisfied with this "prospective son-in-law", and directly put Xiao Xu's photo on the Internet.
When the agent went to ask Ren's mother what was going on, her mother said, "Hey, he needs to be responsible too."
Selina apparently disagreed with this answer, and she subtly and jokingly criticized her mother for being "a thief to guard against."
She has also made it clear that she will not marry again.
If her boyfriend's marriage proposal really surprises her, she will choose to tell the world, but not register.
Instead of getting married, she will be more inclined to live every day well, cherish the present moment and each other, and be absolutely sober.
Being a mom this time is within Selina's plan.
After a year of dating, because the relationship was very good, she began to seriously discuss the future with her new boyfriend, and Selina offered to embrace the future together if God also gave us this (parenting) fate.
For the first half of her life, Selina has been pursuing beauty under the scrutiny of the outside world, she wants appearance, figure, fame, and a happy marriage.
The company named Ren Jiaxuan Selina, which means "moonlight goddess", representing gentleness and sweetness. But she spent half her life proving to the world that tenderness and sweetness alone are not enough.
After experiencing the ups and downs of life and suffering the burns of impermanence of fate, at the age of 40, she finally learned to take all her beauty back and give it to herself.
I think this is the deep reason why Selina often laments "forty-one flowers for women".
The word "happiness" is no longer casually used to define a woman's life.
60-year-old Michelle Yeoh, after winning the Oscar, shouted on stage: "Don't let anyone define that your peak is over, never give up!" ”
Faye Wong, 53, is still in love with Nicholas Tse, talking about sweet love, holding hands on the street like no one.
40-year-old Jolin Tsai said on the concert stage: "40 years old is a great age, really feel damn good!" ”
When defining feminism, Chizuko Ueno repeatedly mentioned a saying: be honest with yourself and ask yourself questions in every aspect. Here can be, there must not be, ask until the end can be clear, the key is not to fool yourself.
40 is the age when the appearance begins to decline, but it is also often the time when women really mature and begin to enjoy freedom.
From this point of view, 40 years old is really too beautiful an age.
Bless free Selina, born from the ashes, you deserve all the joy.
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