Wen \ Yijing, Jiang Zuo Meiniang
There is a kind of person who is the "peacemaker" around him, and the "good gentleman" who is not guilty of anyone.
Everything is valued by peace, and everything is better.
They are best at "peaceful mud", using false faces to maintain surface stability; In the name of being good for you, moral kidnapping is the truth.
And this behavior seems to avoid strife, but in essence it does not solve anything.
In the end, the unilateral compromise of the victims ended this conflict.
Everything and mud are sometimes the greatest evil in human nature.
01. When it's time to talk about benefits, talk about feelings
Guo Degang has a clear saying:
"It's raining in the sky, the ground is slippery, you fall and climb by yourself, you have to let your friends pull it, you have to exchange wine for wine, tea for tea."
Think about it.
Most of the things in the world are related to the exchange of interests, and they cannot be escaped or hidden.
People who do not know how to distinguish between the two cannot have sincere and long-lasting feelings.
Li Jun and Zhou are friends, and Li Jun runs a computer store. If there is any problem with Zhou Zheng's computer, he will call Li Jun to come to his home to repair it.
Once, after Li Jun finished inspecting, he said: "It should be that the motherboard is broken, and if you want to replace it, it is estimated that it will cost five or six hundred yuan." ”
Zhou Zheng pouted and said, "Old friends still talk about money, how hurtful their feelings." ”
After that, Zhou Zheng had another computer failure problem, and Li Jun took advantage of the excuse to shirk.
Similarly, Xiaodong opened a cake shop, and Wen Qing would go to Xiaodong's shop from time to time, saying that it was a show, but in fact it was a "white".
Every time, I took the cake, never paid, and always said, "Who are we with whom?" ”
Later, when Xiaodong saw Wen Qinglai again, he naturally didn't have a good face.
Zhang Liang is a designer, and there are always some relatives and friends around him to help him design new houses.
A complete set of plans is often time-consuming and laborious, and it is also a big expense according to the market price.
But the people around him never talked about money, and over time, Zhang Liang was unwilling to be treated as free labor again.
Sanmao said:
"Between friends, ask for small things, go along with the water, and it should be complete. Asking too much and getting an inch is the fastest way to lose friends. ”
In life, all friendships have a quota. No matter how good friendship is, but when it is time to talk about interests, and not treat yourself as an outsider, it is "peace and mud", which is clearly taking advantage.
It is like a deposit, once overdrawn, no matter how deep the friendship, it will become weaker or even broken.
02. When it comes time to distinguish right from wrong, talk about harmony
Since ancient times, China has paid attention to "putting peace first" and advocating regardless of past suspicions. If you love to get to the end, you are often perceived as a narrow-minded person who seeks perfection.
Like what:
"He said I'm sorry, don't be unforgiving, it's not easy for anyone..."
"He's still a child, do you care..."
This kind of person, standing and talking without back pain, shows a righteous and awe-inspiring appearance.
As everyone knows, such a "peace is precious" is a picture of harmony on the surface, but in fact it obscures the facts.
Netizen Su Xiaoxiao lives in a small county with a monthly salary of more than 2,000.
One weekend, she went grocery shopping and saw an old lady setting up a stall with few customers and quite pitiful, so she went to buy her 6 yuan vegetables.
It just so happened that she had 50 yuan in cash in her hand and gave it to the old lady, but as a result, the old lady only found her 4 yuan.
She thought that the old lady was old and it was possible to be wrong, so she patiently reasoned and said that he had given her 50 and that she should have changed 44.
But the old lady insisted that she had not found fault with it, and the evil man sued first, saying that the young man did not speak morally and bullied the old man.
She couldn't get angry, so she called the police, and finally proved her innocence and got the money back.
Su Xiaoxiao also sent a circle of friends later, hoping that others would not be deceived.
However, the reply below made people feel very helpless: "The old lady is old, it is not easy to do a small business, and there is no need to pursue forty yuan." ”
Hehe.
Russell once said:
"If reason does not exist, goodness is meaningless."
From Su Xiaoxiao's point of view, because of kindness, she took the initiative to take care of the business of the elderly, which is already rare, but the reality is that the old people rely on the old and sell the old, and do not pay attention to principles.
And some people in this netizen's circle of friends do not distinguish right from wrong and ignore the facts.
Hayek said:
"When good loses its principles, it may be worse than evil."
Yes, there is nothing wrong with goodness, but good that does not distinguish between right and wrong becomes evil, and under the slogan of cherishing peace, persuading others to be harmonious is even more evil on top of evil.
03. When the accusation is calculated, talk about generosity
Guo Degang said in an interview:
"Actually, I hate the kind of person who advises you to be generous if you don't understand any situation. This kind of person you need to stay away from him, because when the thunder slashes him, it will affect you. ”
There is no shortage of such people in life.
They hurt others unscrupulously, and they also want the other party to be generous, not caring about their own mistakes.
If the other party does not forgive, then the other party is not reasonable.
Such people are often more terrible than evil.
There is a question on Zhihu:
"At what point did you decide not to be kind anymore?"
In the comment area, a netizen shared his story.
The female netizen's husband and brother planned to start a company together, but at first, the female netizen did not agree.
She felt that her husband's younger brother was not business material, and she liked to stir things up, but at the request of her husband and mother-in-law, she still agreed.
After the company opened, female netizens took care of all the chores, ran taxes, loans, recruited employees, trained talents, and various businesses did well.
Three years passed quickly, during this period, she did not take a vacation except for the New Year, even gave birth to a second child, and immediately put into work after confinement, but for the development of the company, she only took 1,000 yuan a month in salary.
Soon, the company gradually grew from a small scale of 200,000 to a large scale of 6 million.
At this moment, her sister-in-law, who never went to work, proposed that she ask for a salary, and the husband of the female netizen naturally disagreed.
Who knows, her husband's brother immediately jumped out to object, saying that if his wife can't receive a salary, then female netizens can't get it.
also disparaged female netizens, saying that the work she did was running errands, and she could find someone to do it for 500 yuan.
At that time, her mother-in-law knew her efforts but made her take a step back, similarly, her husband did not say a word for her, the sister-in-law did help her brother do some company things, but at the beginning it was clearly said that it was good, only the younger brother is considered an employee of the company, this sister-in-law is obviously seeing money and making unreasonable trouble, but what can female netizens say?
She was very cold, but did not fall into strife, she handed over the work as quickly as possible, quit the work group and family group.
Later, the company's finances also left, the company could not find a suitable replacement, the funds were all set in the project, the bank could not borrow, and the development was difficult.
And she jumped to a good company, the salary is 10,000 plus, and it will rise again next year, her mother-in-law and husband, crying and accusing her, saying that she is ruthless, seeing her family's company fail, but going to work outside, her father-in-law persuaded her, don't be too careful, home and everything is prosperous.
The female netizen directly threw off the in-laws: "Help your son earn money, that thousand yuan, no one is grateful, and it attracts jealousy; Earn money for yourself, support your family well, and be blamed by you, if you have a conscience, just say a fair word, I will also consider whether to stay, if you have no conscience, then ask your son to divorce me, I have done my best for you. ”
No matter how good the relationship is, it can't withstand wanton consumption, and feel free to despise a person's efforts and efforts for the family, such a person is not worth nostalgic, and such a family does not need to stay for a long time.
Confucius said:
"Repay grievances with directness, repay virtue with virtue."
In the past, we always felt that we should repay grievances with virtue and be generous. However, not all of them deserve our tolerance.
As a person, you must turn your face when it is time to turn your face.
Only in this way can people know where our bottom line is, instead of blindly trampling on our dignity with generosity.
04. Mei Niang said
The Analects say:
"Country wishes, thieves of virtue too".
The so-called "hometown wish" refers to this unprincipled "peace mud."
When it is time to talk about interests, talk about feelings, that is to put on the cloak of feelings, to take advantage of others, encounter this kind of people, stay away early, in order to protect yourself;
When it is time to distinguish between right and wrong, you are advised to talk about harmony, and you can not put on a trap, because you really talk about harmony, then in the end, it is you who suffers inside and out;
When the accusation is calculating, you are advised to be generous, and you do not accept it, because he can confuse right and wrong, but you cannot lose the boundary, otherwise it will be you who will be bullied.
May we all stay away from this "peaceful mud" people, stick to the borders and protect ourselves! Life is short, there is no shame in thinking about yourself and living for yourself! Your kindness should be reserved for those who deserve it more!
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