It is often mentioned in the chat that -
"That girl is obviously a green tea, why do many men like it?"
"Why can a scumbag like him find such a good girlfriend?"
It's not acid, it's just plain incomprehensible.
Men and women who use routines and tricks can always receive the favor of the opposite sex.
Until the circle of friends saw a sentence, suddenly realized:
What many women want, only scumbags can give;
And what many men want, only green tea can give.
There's a movie called "Best Bid" that I brushed up several times.
The male protagonist is an auctioneer who privately collects a lot of priceless works of art.
He had a huge fortune and remained single for decades.
Until he met a young woman, approached step by step, trapped.
In the end, he unloaded all his secrets and had a good dream of protecting women for a lifetime.
When he returned home, he found that the treasure had been looted and the woman's whereabouts were unknown.
Like a dream, he sat in the coffee shop like this.
He has countless treasures and can see through any fake at a glance;
But in the face of the forgery of love, he is as naïve as a teenager who has just opened his heart.
When it comes to love, we don't pretend to be mature.
Objective calmness is the posture and rhetoric of the bystander.
In the midst of emotions, we always accept all kinds of lies and absurdities out of thin air.
"He went to the hotel with the girl just to talk about business, and I believe he was a man."
"Hang up my phone continuously, there should be something wrong, he loves me."
"Didn't return to WeChat to give the girl a thumbs up, he should have just forgotten it."
Love is a willing deception.
So how did the scumbag cheat on his feelings? There are two core factors.
First, scumbags have a strong ability to express themselves.
Friends used to have a short relationship, and at the beginning of the relationship, they asked the boy if he would be unable to accept it if he had a little work.
What did the boy say?
"No, you're so cute, you can do as much as you want, I can't bear to let you do it in someone else's place."
Absolutely, it sounds so good, I can't write it.
But they broke up in half a month, on the grounds that the boy thought that the girl went out for afternoon tea, let him change the couple's avatar, and after eating and looking for him to accompany him for a walk.
Later, my friends and I both felt that it was better to find someone who, when you asked "what do I do?" and didn't have any nice words, he seriously answered how the two people should get along.
Scumbags are sweet-mouthed.
Gradually found that the bad boys have a skill, that is, even if he is ambiguous with ten girls at the same time, he can think of ways to make each girl feel that he is special, who can resist the special in feelings?
When people are favored, they are most likely to feel soft and close, and they will chew these repeatedly and mistakenly believe that they are "loved".
This skill is because the mouth is sweet, and it is because the scumbags are particularly good at expressing.
They spoke earnestly, with an atmosphere of "if you don't believe, you're too cold."
What's scary is that you really feel like what he said is true later, and he says love you have a 99 points, and you feel "must be".
So the ability to express themselves helps them to get the hearts of others.
In layman's terms, there is no scumbag who is not shallow and deep
So why can they do it, because they talk about love but their brains are not heart, and when they finish, they are not a thing in their lives.
But the emotional value is accumulated on the girl's side.
Second, scumbags know how to create guilt
People are like this, good emotions such as joy, let us briefly appreciate a person, briefly infatuated, but may feel tired.
But the emotion of "guilt/regret/trepidation about missing out" is different, it will make you long, very long can not forget a person.
Do you remember the little three in "The First Half of Life", in order to make Chen Junsheng remember himself, he offered to leave, saying to him: "I can't delay you any longer!" I can't be so selfish! I'm a bad woman! ”
This quickly achieves the purpose of making the other party feel painful.
And "heartache", similar to the "guilt/regret/trepidation about missing out" I just mentioned, can undoubtedly add weight to love, so that the ordinary hormonal effect is uplifted to, "We are both tortured, this must be true love, the kind of true love in the movie."
It's not uncommon to be sad to love more because I'm bothered by it, I think a lot of people are a bit Stockholm...
But this is all made by the person who is scummy in the relationship.
Feelings that can't go on or struggle are often the fault of both parties.
But the scumbags don't care, they desperately evoke your guilt, evoke unnecessary self-reflection, perform his humble pity, and make you feel that "everything is your fault".
Usually people will feel that those who fall into the trap of scumbags must be some little girls who do not understand the world, they are simple in their hearts, they are deceived but they are still dead-hearted.
But it's not.
Studies have found that successful women who are independent and intelligent are more likely to have sparks with scumbags.
From the scumbag's point of view, they are usually very controlling, vanity, the harder the girl to chase, the more interested they are.
If they catch up with successful and excellent girls, they will feel particularly fulfilled and have a lot of face.
Moreover, scumbags only want to satisfy themselves in their feelings and do not want to take on the responsibility of taking care of them.
If you find a girlfriend with high emotional needs, you often need to be with you anytime and anywhere, and maybe you have to coax and spoil, which is something that scumbags can't stand;
Successful women are often very independent, do not need to be taken care of too much, and are rarely clingy, which makes scumbags breathe a sigh of relief.
From a woman's perspective, successful women are also more likely to get satisfaction in scumbags.
Scumbags are good at creating surprises, excitement, and making life full of freshness and fun.
In such a relationship, girls may not get commitment, but they can get a lot of happiness, which is exactly what successful women want.
At the same time, the success of the career also makes women feel that "as long as I work hard, there is nothing I can't do", since this man has shortcomings, then I can transform and transform, maybe I can change.
From these analyses, it is not difficult to see that the matching of scumbags and high-quality women is more of a short-term love game, and both sides take what they need, and may not really be trapped in it.
However, research also shows that girls with low self-esteem are more likely to fall into love with scumbags.
This type of girl is often emotionally neglected in the process of growing up, showing attachment anxiety in intimate relationships, fearing that she will not be loved, and suffering from gains and losses in her feelings.
The enthusiasm and concentration of scumbags in the early stage of their relationship will make them feel cherished and accepted as never before, and this feeling is what they desperately desire, and even fight for it.
Even if they finally see each other's true face and know that the relationship will not have results, they still can't get rid of their desire and dependence on the love of scumbags, and even put down their egos to beg for each other's love.
So, the best ending is not to start at all. When you meet a scumbag, you run away.
Now many people should have suffered this kind of loss -
My friend, who was in tears with me last night, got back together with my boyfriend this morning.
In order to make her feel better, I didn't sleep all night, and I helped her scold the scumbag.
Today she actually said to me – take care of yourself.
Feelings about this thing, one is willing to fight and one is willing to be beaten.
Whether the other person loves a person or a dog, helping to identify is a high-risk job.
I see hundreds of thousands of loves backstage every day.
I also have a hard time judging, defining, any human feeling.
Many times we can't be sure that the person we love is worth it.
But I want to say —
People whose family and girlfriends and friends feel that they are not ok, give up as soon as possible.
Because the people who care about you the most really don't want to see you hurt.
I also don't want scumbags to teach any of you a lesson.
I hope that you will become soft and transparent in your kindness;
Instead of being betrayed, I feel the warmth and coldness of human feelings in this world.
There are too many routines in this world, so if you can't do it, try it slowly.
Of course it will be heartbreaking, and possibly pain, despair.
From gray to black, at one point disappeared.
But I'm sure you'll regain love, recognize love.
And redouble the value of the meaning of love.