Figure | network
Wen | sea blue
"When Chekov saw the long winter, the bitterly dark winter, it was still possible to pass. However, we know that winter is just another step in the life cycle, standing among the Pusutani, warmed by their fireplaces and enthusiasm, the long and bright winter, is the best time I can think of. ”
- "Groundhog Day"
The movie "Groundhog Day" is a 1993 old film, also known as "Stealing Love", starring Bill Murray, an Oscar-winning actor for best actor, who was a hot comedian in Hollywood in the 80s and 90s. But the film, cloaked in comedy, has a brooding moral: "What would you do if every day of your life were repeating yesterday?" ”
The plot of the movie is very simple, telling the protagonist Phil, a weather announcer, every February 2 to go to the town of Pusutani, to do a celebration called "Groundhog Day", four consecutive years of round-trip and boring life here, so that Phil extremely hates the current work, treats colleagues harshly, does not like the people around him, and even does not like himself, he only hopes to complete the task quickly, but on the way back, a sudden snowstorm trapped them in the town. When he woke up the next day, something strange happened, and today is still a repetition of yesterday, as if he had fallen into a black hole of time, and no matter what he did, he could not change it, so the story unfolded in this way.
The protagonist Phil's life is so similar to ours, although each day seems to be a new day, but the way we spend it is mechanically repeated day after day. Every day is "today", time is fair, and it is relative that we usually divide time into past, present, future or yesterday, today, tomorrow, but rarely realize that our attitude to time will have a profound impact on our lives.
After more than thirty years of research, the American psychologist Philip Zimbardo and his partners believe that our attitude toward time has formed a view of time, and that every major choice we make in life depends on our view of time, so the question of time is essentially a question of the meaning of life.
How to make our lives more meaningful and valuable in a limited time requires us to have a scientific view of time, in his book "The Paradox of Time", he summarized years of research on time, proposing that only when we understand our own view of time can we understand how to use time with high quality and find the best combination of time, so as to achieve balance and harmony in time.
Therefore, today, take the movie "Groundhog Day" as an example, take "today" as the balance point of time, and talk about the impact and significance brought to us by different views of time.
<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" > the perspective of time, the paranoid cognition of the present time, is self-destructive, but also an invisible shackle</h1>
(1). On the repeated "Groundhog Day", the awakening of consciousness
At first, in the face of repeated "groundhog days", he was nervous and overwhelmed, why should he never repeat this worst day, instead of repeating the best day? The inability to change the status quo made Phil anxious and afraid, he was afraid that there would never be tomorrow, and he was even more afraid. Life is forever suspended on this worst day. He wanted to escape from it all, but the more he tried to escape, the more he felt helpless and useless.
Some netizens commented on this movie: In Phil's life, you can often see your own shadow. In fact, it is also the place that touched me the most, escaping from yesterday, can we live tomorrow?
Psychologists say that 95% of human actions are carried out unconsciously, and most of the unconscious actions are generated by habits. Many people, including myself, often live in unconscious habits, slowly grinding away our interest, curiosity and love for things, and finally numbness.
"It's important to be careful with that step." Unconscious inertia makes Phil step into the same puddle three times, just like we repeat it many times in life, or we can't avoid making the same mistakes, although some are just small things, but for those who want to change and want to control their lives, they seem more helpless and desperate.
(2) Escape from the past and the future, have fun in time, and pay attention to the hedonists of the present
"Without tomorrow, there is no result, and there is no need to bear the consequences of doing anything."
Doing whatever he wants, he embarked on a hedonistic life of focusing on the present, no longer having to follow the opinions of others, he used a coffee pot to drink coffee, smoke, eat more desserts, focus only on the immediate happiness, ignoring all the unhealthy negative consequences. The infinite cycle of time gives Phil the opportunity to fulfill all his desires, to date different beauties in town, to rob a cash truck, to buy a luxury car...
However, slowly this readily available life made him tired, he felt bored, began to carry out a "crazy" pursuit of female colleague Rita, to understand the heroine's preferences, living habits, originally thought that this kind of effort to win the heroine's heart, repeatable day after day passed, the heroine thought that what Phil did to her, like a lie, a love trap, Phil began to be depressed.
According to Maslow's theory of needs, when a person's low-level needs are met, he will yearn for higher levels of satisfaction, psychological emptiness makes Phil urgently need to be recognized and affirmed by others, and Rita's rejection makes Phil's life in trouble, and he feels more contradictory and anxious.
It can be seen that superficial happiness is everywhere, eating, drinking, watching movies... Most sensory pleasures are actually more of a sense of meaninglessness that escapes reality. The pursuit of material pleasures, which seems radiant, is also fleeting, and the short-lived satisfaction obtained will soon fall into greater suffering.
(3) Pessimistic despair, focusing on the fatalists of the moment
Tired of everything, falling into pessimism and despair, he thinks that his whole life will be like this winter, gray and cold, he began to give up on himself, robbing the marmot to drive off a cliff, electrocute, jump off a building... He just wanted to get out of this nightmare by ending his life, but no matter how many times he died, he still woke up at 6:00 a.m. the next morning on Groundhog Day.
Pessimism, despair, self-abandonment, no matter what you do, you can't change the status quo. This behavior of Phil is known in psychology as "learned helplessness", and usually refers to a hopeless and helpless behavior and state of reality formed through learning.
When a person always experiences failures and setbacks, he will think that his failure is inevitable, and attribute the reason for failure to factors that he cannot change, thus giving up the courage and confidence to try. For example, in life, work is not satisfactory, marriage is not happy, but they refuse to make changes, because they have accepted that all attempts are useless, and they will end up failing.
To eliminate learned helplessness, the most important thing is to change the bad attribution model, not always attribute failure to the external environment, but should analyze the problem more objectively, and then make efforts, and make changes through efforts.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > reconstruct the perspective of time, which is a gift that shapes us and changes us</h1>
After all the efforts and struggles, he decided not to resist anymore, and the objectivity and words of the heroine Rita infected him: Maybe this is not a curse, see how you see it. Began to try to accept all this, treat the present well, in the day of repetition, found meaning for his life, not in the escape and fear, but looking forward to the arrival of "Groundhog Day", he began to treat the people around him kindly, help beggar fathers, buy breakfast for colleagues, active and enthusiastic work, learn piano, ice sculpture... After the change, Phil won the love and respect of the people of the town, but also gained the expected love, and finally, he walked out of the spell of time.
Throughout the film, although the film uses "circular time" as the selling point of the film, what is more attractive is the depiction and portrayal of the psychological changes of the protagonist Phil. Repeating the worst day of his life may be unfortunate for Phil, but he is also lucky because he has countless opportunities to try and make mistakes, to find the right direction in life.
And what about us? We have countless tomorrows, countless todays, and unfortunately we won't have a repeating yesterday, but to be fair, everyone's time is the same. If you don't value your time, it may be your enemy and will rob you of your health, appearance, and confidence; if you are friends with time, it will give you confidence, skills, and great change.
Teacher Li Xiaolai talked about his own experience in "Treating Time as a Friend" and proposed, "Seven years is a lifetime, time itself is unmanageable, and it is our own behavior to manage." ”
Time is precious and the easiest thing we can ignore, just like fish living in water, they may not be aware of the existence of water, and most people do not realize that time is passing continuously. Only when time is unfolded will we realize, just like the protagonist Phil, the repetition of yesterday makes him miserable, but also makes him awaken and finally make changes. Therefore, in the "Paradox of Time", the psychologist Zimbardo summed up the following six different views of time on the impact of different views of time on people:
Focus on the negative view of time in the past: Treat things that have happened in the past or imagined things in the past
Pay attention to the positive view of time in the past: willing to remember warm and beautiful memories, more optimistic and more grateful for life
Focus on the fatalistic view of time in the present: "It doesn't matter what I do, sooner or later what is going to happen will happen anyway." ”
Focus on the current hedonistic view of time: focus on enjoyment, the pursuit of freshness, stimulation, avoid pain, poor self-discipline
Focus on the future view of time: Plan ahead, can delay gratification, but often feel the pressure of time
Transcending the future view of time: it is believed that there is an afterlife, which is mostly found in religious believers
The view of time is that you understand yourself and your position in the world, and it is we who change and adjust our direction. The author emphasizes that after understanding his own view of time, he hopes to help us develop a balanced view of time, so I will combine the views in the book and talk about the three methods of developing a balanced view of time.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > balanced view of time, which is the key to your personal happiness and meaning in life</h1>
First, reconcile with the past and have the ability to turn the page
The past is the basis for connecting the present and the future, but there are so many people who maintain the unhappiness of the past. Cousin is an example, when she was a child, her family was poor, her cousin did not graduate from junior high school and went out to work, so many years later, she would still complain about her aunt letting her drop out of school, no academic qualifications, no good job, family life was not satisfactory, she always said that her life was doomed at the moment of dropping out of school.
Past misfortunes are caused by ourselves, as well as by the limitations of life. Wu Zhihong mentioned in the book "Why Love Hurts People": "Fate = psychological compulsive repetition, learn happiness, repeat happiness; learn to be unhappy, repeat unhappiness; learn to trust, repeat trust; learn to be hostile, repeat hostility..."
For the past, we can now choose that you can control the past instead of letting the past control you. Letting go of the past and trying to move forward does not mean forgetting the past, but means reconciling with the past; letting go of the past, having the ability to turn the page, and letting the past past embrace more beautiful futures.
Second, immerse yourself in the moment and create positive experiences
The first description I heard about living in the moment was: "When it's time to eat, eat; when it's time to sleep, sleep..." Focus on the things in your hands, without distractions. There are more specific explanations in psychology, they call this state of mind "flow", which refers to a mental state that people experience when they are immersed in something or a goal they are working on in the moment, fully engrossed, fully engaged and enjoyed. This was proposed by positive psychologist Mikhari Chiksen Mihalai and believes that it is a way for people to achieve happiness.
By focusing on the present with all our hearts, we let go of all possible expectations and desires for the future, and at the same time let go of many regrets of the past.
Third, maintain expectations for the future
Hope is the expectation of a person's actions in the present moment to bring positive results in the future moments. If you have hope for the future, then your present is full of power, which makes the current difficulties less difficult to overcome; it can also make you lose yourself in the current predicament, be future-oriented, do overall planning, and clarify the direction of your own progress.
Written at the end: "Groundhog Day" is a film full of warmth, life is always the presence of love and hope, the film not only interprets the meaning of time, but also explains love to us. The first time Phil meets Rita, he has a wonderful feeling, he is in love with the kind and beautiful Rita, while Phil feels that he is an arrogant, mean bastard, and his psychological inferiority makes him afraid and afraid of not getting Rita's love. Indeed, pleasing and pandering will not be exchanged for the love of others, and true happiness depends on our hearts to manage and create. I love you, I want to be worthy of you, to make myself better, to meet the ideal love. Therefore, use the time to chase the horses to plant grass, and when the flowers bloom in the following spring, there will be a batch of horses to choose from.
Resources
The Paradox of Time [Beauty] Philip Zimbardo, [Beauty] John Boyd