Wen | condensed mother's understanding
The phenomenon of children being bullied is very common, and parents often can't find north in the end how to solve it. Whether to take the lead for the child, or let the child solve it by himself, what to do specifically, can't think of a foolproof solution, a mother has encountered such troubles:
There was a child who always called his son a "fool", and the son was very angry and did not want to play with him. Thinking about being a child, I don't know him in general. Who would have thought that the child would kick his nose in the face and provoke again and again.
Once, when his son was practicing skateboarding on 4 wheels, the child actually pushed him from behind and scolded him, and his parents turned a blind eye. The mother let her son solve it by himself, but the son had not experienced this situation and did not know what to do. The mother was particularly angry, so she went to stop the child and warned him: If you curse again, I will beat you, and I will have fun and not swear.
But after the discouragement, I blame myself, isn't this bullying the weak, after all, it is a child. However, if you use the weak as a shield, you can bully others at will, then he is not weak. Thinking of this, I am really embarrassed and do not know how to deal with it.
After reading her mother's description, Ning Mom thought that there was no problem with this mother's consciousness:
First of all, she can encourage children to solve problems on their own and give children the right to make their own decisions, which is conducive to children coping with bullying that parents can't see.
Second, she supports the child, so that the child knows that he will be helped when he is bullied, and he will feel more secure.
The problem is that they don't know what to do, so they can't tell their children the specific methods, resulting in the child's inability to solve the problem on their own. So, the key issue is to teach children how to face bullying.
During this time, Ning's mother learned several wonderful tricks from the neighbor's father, and also reviewed her son's experience of being bullied when he was a child, read a set of "Children's Anti-Bullying Enlightenment Education Picture Book", and summed up a set of experiences: When children are bullied, there is no need to rush to intervene, and it is practical to use 3 "stupid methods".
Use these 3 tricks well, let the child from being bullied to not being easy to mess with, and not be afraid of anywhere
First, let the child be brave enough to express his feelings
Children who swallow their voices are more likely to be bullied, like children are called "fools", although they are very angry, but they do not positively express that they do not like it, and the child who bullies will be unscrupulous and become more serious.
When the son was nicknamed when he was a child, he also did not stop the loss in time, resulting in being called for three years, to the point of humiliation before he could not bear it, and finally broke out.
Therefore, to tell the child that being scolded by others is called "verbal bullying", and to be brave enough to say "no". Let the other person know their feelings, and you can't insult others endlessly.
Second, let the child ask for help from someone they trust in time
When a child is bullied, he may feel embarrassed, think that he has made some mistakes, dare not tell the teacher, do not dare to tell the parents, and suffer in silence.
Many children get the warning when they are bullied, "If you tell the teacher, you are worse than you are now." "The child is under pressure and does not dare to tell others.
No matter what the reason, because of limited ability, do not ask for help, do not solve it by yourself, often usher in more serious bullying.
Therefore, we must let the child understand that the child who bullies people is the wrong party, he is a victim, and he will be free from being bullied by boldly saying the fact that he is bullied. Teachers and parents are trustworthy people, and good friends at school are also objects to talk to.
Finally, give your child the ability to see tricks
When a child is bullied, we will be particularly angry, telling the child to treat his body in the same way as a person, "scolding back, hitting back", which is just out of anger and does not solve the fundamental problem.
Professor Chu Yin introduced his personal experience, in the face of the beater whose strength is not as good as his own, he chose to resist and will not be bullied again. However, in the face of a batter whose strength is stronger than his own, he resists again, and he cannot beat others, which can only lead to more frequent bullying, so he adopts other strategies. Playing back is a very complex technical operational problem, and the most important thing is to learn to protect yourself.
Therefore, do not expect the child to fight back in the same way, but teach the child to see the tricks and fight back in a more effective way. If parents do not have a feasible method, it is recommended to learn the method in the "Children's Anti-Bullying Enlightenment Education Picture Book", read with the child, and learn and practice together.
Take the boy being called a "fool", you can use the picture book "I don't like to be abused" to guide the child, the case is very close to the child's encounter, the child is easy to resonate, learn to cope with the method.
Jesse was lucky to be selected for the ice hockey team, the other teammates were very good, only one Chris always called Jesse "stupid", Jesse was very aggrieved, but did not know how to refute him, very frustrated.
He did not dare to tell his mother, nor did he tell the teacher, and suffered in silence. It wasn't until his best friend encouraged him to go to a teacher, and with the teacher's help, Chris stopped bullying Jesse. But it wasn't until Jesse lifted his chest and bravely stared into Chris's eyes that Chris said "I'm sorry" that the problem was really solved.
This story introduces the process of Jesse's bullying, as well as psychological feelings, so that children feel empathy and think of their own encounters. After that, the specific method was introduced, the teacher was told - the teacher helped - bravely looked at each other, and finally got a satisfactory result and saw the effectiveness of the method.
The child unconsciously enters the story and learns to deal positively with the face of being scolded: express his dissatisfaction in time, and look firm, overwhelm the other party from the momentum, full of confidence, and will not be bullied.
In the same way, the boy practicing skateboarding is pushed, which can be guided by the picture book "I Don't Like to Be Pushed".
The situation of children being bullied is not limited to being scolded and beaten, but also may be discriminated against, touched, insulted, robbed, wronged, excluded, ridiculed, different situations, different strategies to solve the problem are different.
For example, when discriminated against, make up for the disadvantage and make yourself stronger.
For example, when ridiculed, walking with good friends has the strength to resist bravely.
For example, when excluded, try to make others discover their own strengths.
The methods introduced in the picture book are very targeted and operable, and it is easy for children to understand and apply. I am now using this set of picture books to do anti-bullying enlightenment education for 4-year-old Erbao, and I am very relieved to find that when he gets along with his friends, he can be more confident, braver, and become not easy to mess with.
Therefore, it is especially recommended that everyone read this set of "Children's Anti-Bullying Enlightenment Education Picture Book" to children, so that children can stay away from being bullied and grow up happily.
Children's Anti-Bullying Enlightenment Education Picture Book ¥39.9 Purchase
I'm @Gelma Goku
Mother of two boys, more than 10 years of parenting experience
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