Have you heard this famous quote from the Buddha?
The root of suffering is attachment?
I think this sentence is quite interesting, and the reverse is also true, and the root of joy is attachment.
The root of suffering is attachment?
Male energy seeks to feel empty
The essence of men is to feel empty when pushed away; every woman has experienced a man withdrawing, mainly because the distance makes the man feel empty, or to achieve or pursue his goals in life.
He forgot that you still love him and hurt women, however, feeling empty makes the male soul fulfilled, and "reality" is like that, and I think it's a wonderful thing, so in a way, this proposal to remove our attachment to people and things is to serve the male soul.
In some cases, it does favor women (and maybe women really need to be detached) from a relationship that makes them feel hurt (or already hurt). Detachment is also valuable to women in this regard; at least it makes people see reality clearly.
But if you spend too much time with this extreme male and don't allow yourself to associate yourself with the right people and good things, it will start to destroy the female soul.
The essence of men is to feel empty when they push away love; every woman has experienced a man's withdrawal
Connection is the lifeblood of women
Feminine energy needs to be connected in order to exist, and connection allows us to feel energized in femininity. ("Contact" here refers to communication, contact between men and women)
However, with connection comes a certain attachment (for us women); male energy does not grow through connection. Masculine men, if they are true to their souls, need detachment in pursuit of their goals in life.
For example, men are lonely for hours, days, months, or even years, without contact with their girlfriends or wives; although they do not hurt themselves, it will hurt their wives and families, but the contradiction is that this loneliness is necessary for men to grow into men.
This existence is only trained when one has enough emptiness, enough challenge, and enough detachment to pursue his achievements.
If summed up in an idiom, it must be "born again from the fire; therefore, the Buddha's advice might say to a person who is essentially male that after experiencing the torment of fire and the trial of suffering, one is either born again or burned."
However, for women, if you do take a lot of self-help advice, try it carefully! It's okay to carefully choose which suggestions will work for you most of the time and which ones will only work for you in a few cases.
Just to say, "Is the root of suffering attachment?" This sentence suggests that the Buddha's attachment causes suffering, which may help you heal from suffering.
Feminine energy needs to be connected in order to exist, and connection allows us to feel energized in femininity
Attachment to negative emotional patterns can cause pain
While it has been said that attachment is the root of all suffering, this is actually incorrect.
I think the cause of suffering itself is attachment to negative emotional patterns of our existence that are deeply entrenched in our nervous systems when we are very young and through interactions with our parents.
For example, left-behind children or single families have a deep experience, and they lack the love of their parents or unilateral love from an early age.
If what you're deeply rooted in is a distance pattern, you'll feel safe when you're at some distance from people. But I believe our negative patterns of survival aren't always designed for connecting with humans, and the real reason for that connection is what do you aspire to?
Some people have developed a survival pattern, which means they are the safest when it comes to interacting with people, and if that's you, then that mode is much better than the one that gets safe through the lack of love.
So, as women, we may be attached to a man in a bad relationship, but it's not our attachment to the person who's causing the pain, it's our attachment to the negative patterns we seek to identify with ourselves in order to survive, or the attachment to abusive patterns that causes our pain; of course, there are other types of consumption patterns, which we'll talk about next time.
While it has been said that attachment is the root of all suffering, this is actually incorrect.
The root of ecstasy is also attachment!
There was a little bit of ecstasy in attachment; I felt ecstatic when I was with my girlfriend, and ecstasy when I connected and shared with my family.
And the common denominator of ecstasy is that I have a close girlfriend, but without attachment or lack of commonality, that ecstasy doesn't come.
No attachment is permanent, it's all temporary, but if it were permanent, we wouldn't know its ecstasy, which we take for granted; like do you remember the feeling of the first gift the opposite sex gave you?
While everything we experience is not eternal, I feel that I would rather have the ecstasy of temporary attachment than the enduring take for granted, as long as the people and things I am attached to are at least somehow willing to be like me.
Separation does not end the pain
The root of all suffering is attachment, and conversely, does letting go of attachment put an end to suffering? Or does separation necessarily end this suffering? The answer is definitely wrong.
In my opinion, maybe the Buddha meant that you need to acknowledge that things are short-lived, not permanent.
If we are detached, it may end our suffering, but only if we also end our negative feelings about security, but this advice is not valid for people in love.
Why? Because they are too attached, this is a beautiful thing, have not experienced hot love, have not experienced the vicissitudes of life, who wants to die? All that ecstasy brings attachment.
Along with this attachment comes something called pairing, and as the relationship between the couple is established, the relationship between the couple becomes stronger, which allows the couple to raise happy, healthy children.
The root of all suffering is attachment, and conversely, does letting go of attachment put an end to suffering?
It is dangerous to take the path of masculinity
If we just try to get out of it and take a very masculine path in our lives without paying attention to and breaking the negative patterns of ensuring safety that we develop from a very young age, it will hurt us even more.
To put it another way, imagine what it's like to assume you're a robot and turn off all of your defensive/safe mode? For me personally, separation destroys my essence.
Separation, in many cases (not all), means that many times we have to deny the beauty of love and connection, and we need to actively deny our true selves.
This will keep us alive forever, wearing masks to hide who we really are, or to protect ourselves, when we put down our armor, to connect with other people.
Yes, you'll wear the mask of fake masculinity to deal with the pain of your fear or attachment to abandonment, for which you'll live what you think is "great", but you're not there, and deep down you you'll feel like something is missing.
Just like Masumi Kamio (the teacher who wears glasses in kindergarten) in "Crayon Shin-chan"), wearing glasses and taking off glasses have two completely different faces.
What you should do is...
As a woman, what you should do is:
Learn to have the ability to separate when needed, and when you find yourself overly dependent on a toxic and abusive relationship, choose and disengage your abilities; how?
You can choose to eliminate harmful relationships by reducing their importance in your world.
Learn to have the ability to separate when needed, when you find yourself overly dependent on a toxic and abusive relationship, to choose and detach your ability;
You make it less and less valuable in your life, and you feel that the relationship is not worth it for you because being with toxic people for a long time is too heavy for your female soul.
It's not that we women can't have detachment and can't have the effort to pursue men, on the contrary, in life, we can do a lot of things that men can do with almost any man, which doesn't mean that our lives come without a price.
We may enjoy the empty quest for achievement and meaning. But it always has that feeling of "something missing". Especially if we deny that we are truly feminine cores, just to pursue male stuff because we think it's safer to live that way.
If you can, try asking yourself: Do you feel more ecstatic and energized when you think your favorite song is about to go and you dance with it naturally? Or when someone comes up to you and says, "I bet you don't dare eat that mustard!" "
If you feel like the first thing, dancing to your favorite song will make you feel more energetic and excited, then you might be more feminine.
If you have a more feminine nature then I would suggest being reserved about the "separation" advice as it is only used in the right situations.
Don't turn your back on emotional connection and attachment – this is where your heart really shines, and where you can be radiant, energetic, and free.
Don't let masculine attitudes make you shy away from the value of attachment
It seems that in our world, masculine people are naturally always inadvertently trying to make more feminine people more like themselves, that is, masculine men and women, trying to make the people around them more masculine; more feminine people trying to make an essentially masculine person more feminine.
That's why we need to know more about which books and advice serve our hearts and which help nurture our masculine energy.
Never forget that our goal is not just to become feminine. As a woman, in order to live a fulfilling life, you need your feminine energy and masculine energy.
Feminine energy isn't always the answer to all situations, much less all high value, but you certainly don't want to force yourself to avoid the value of attachment because: attachment is fundamental to life as a woman and mother.