I remember "Fang Siqi's First Love Paradise" when the book just came out, and it was not easy to buy, tossing and turning several times, bought a vertical traditional text on a network, the price was not cheap, after reading I found that it was pirated, but there was no way, the formal channels could not buy at all.
This book writes about a very sensitive but necessary topic, that is, a problem that many girls encounter when they grow up - how to protect themselves to the maximum extent when danger comes. Because some injuries may take a long time or even a lifetime to heal, and even some people can't get out of it for life.
It tells the story of a 13-year-old girl named Fang Siqi, who became the "prey" in the eyes of tutor Li Guohua, approached step by step and fell into his trap, and finally lost her body and even collapsed. The terrible thing is that this is not a novel, this is a living reality.
This is the author Lin Yihan's first novel, both her autobiography and her masterpiece, the novel was published in February 2017, on April 27 of that year, Lin Yihan was found hanging himself at home, at the age of 26.
Her originally good life came to an abrupt end, all because of the topic that was repeatedly reported in the news, infuriating and heavy, but it has not attracted enough attention - sexual assault.
Feng Tang's evaluation after reading this book is: amazing words, sad stories, and angry reality. How many people's tears were poked in the three sentences. Her future was ruined, her perfect life was ruined, her whole being was ruined.
The plot of the book is fabricated, but similar stories are really happening around us every day, one after another "Fang Siqi" is reported by the news, and one after another "Lin Yihan" has embarked on a desperate road. Wolves in sheep's clothing, those beastly beasts with human faces, and the neglect of sex education by parents are the main factors that lead to the tragedy.
This book made me suddenly think of a Korean movie "The Melting Pot", which is basically invisible now, and the most memorable thing is the vicious face that appears above the women's bathroom, which is estimated to be the nightmare of many girls.
Fang Siqi in the book, once tried to communicate with her parents, telling her parents about her experience as a story of others, unfortunately, the parents not only did not pay attention to it, did not find the abnormal performance of the child, but thought that the friend in the daughter's story was not serious.
She had chosen to struggle, resist, and even think of saving her from her pain and struggle through her parents, but too many people were confused by the appearance of the humble gentleman who was called a teacher. The saddest part of life is that many times, adults always choose to believe in adults and turn a deaf ear to a child's voice.
Children choose to hide because of self-esteem and inferiority, and parents choose not to report to the police because of the so-called shame, and in the end, instead of protecting the children, they connived at the criminals. Don't many "Li Guohua" take advantage of the "ugly family must not be publicized" psychology of children and parents, and continue to harm others?
In contrast, in our real life, a girl's growth and learning environment is too important, especially than boys, and should be paid attention to and valued, and there can be no sloppiness and negligence.
I once chatted with a friend who had also been a father for less than two years, and when it came to their respective children, he said that boys are fine, and girls are really hard to bring, because there are so many things you have to worry about. His family is precisely the daughter, spending money is still secondary, mainly worried about the future growth environment, because a little carelessness will cause lifelong harm.
Indeed, my wife and I have talked about this topic many times. We actually always wanted our daughter's, the decoration of the children's room, and made an overall pink color in advance before the baby was born. From the ceiling lamp to the wall, from the mother-of-child bed to the curtains, it's all pink.
But I always have some worries, so I told my wife that although I like my daughter, the girl's growth environment is not optimistic, because she always has to leave the house, go to school, enter the society, especially before she is a minor, her mental health, growth and development, and personal safety are the most sensitive but not negligible content.
The topic of sex education, for many parents in China, is very secretive, talking about sexual discoloration, and even many rural children are completely ignorant of this. Coupled with the current situation of left-behind children and empty nesters in rural areas, it is easy to be violated at a young age.
A friend of mine, there are two children, the eldest is a daughter, reading the fourth and fifth grades, before his mother took the young lady and brothers to study at home, and his brother and sister-in-law did not think about these at all, and did not know how to communicate with the child, he often told his mother, asked her to communicate with the little niece more, tell the little girl some things she should know.
For example, girls wear skirts in the summer and pay attention to privacy when walking and lying down. For example, girls should keep their distance from boys and not have too much physical contact. For example, girls should not go to strange places with boys alone. For example, wash your butt frequently and change clothes and pay attention to hygiene. Bullied by boys, you must report to the teachers and parents in time, can not hide...
In fact, even if many parents, no matter how careful the heart, there is an unexpected place, just like some news said, many accidents happen to people around them, often those we are familiar with the crime, this ordinary person is difficult to prevent. Isn't Fang Siqi's tutor, Li Guohua, a neighbor who lives in the same building as them?
For example, if you work overtime on weekends, you send your child to a male friend's house and ask him to help with it. For example, if you go out on the weekend and let the tutor teach the child at home... It's not that all the friends around us are bad people, but there are some hidden dangers that we have to guard against. If your child is a girl.
The relatively safe way is to either take the child to work overtime or send it to the home of a female friend or a friend with an elderly person. If the teacher is teaching the child at home, it is best to have a third person at home.
Isn't Fang Siqi in the book such a tragedy? A 13-year-old little girl, who is waiting for the cardamom years with buds, but she can't help but stretch out a claw from behind, and since then, she has fallen into another tragic world until she has a mental breakdown.
Of course, to say this, it is not to let the parents of the grass and trees are soldiers, to see all men as potential hooligans, habitual offenders who do bad things, but to learn to identify and choose, it is best not to let underage girls, and any opposite sex alone. Even if the other party is a so-called high-level intellectual.
Because you never know that the friends you make well around you may stretch out the claws, the teachers who are teachers in the school may stretch out the claws, even those elders who look gentle and kind may also stretch out the claws...
Don't be silent anymore, don't let Fang Siqi's tragedy reappear, don't let Lin Yihan's tragedy happen around us.
Author: Xi Si Shao, this article is to read less of the original works of the Red Chamber.