Wen \ Mu Xin, Jiang Zuo Mei Niang
Once the book "Fang Siqi's First Love Paradise" was listed, the response was unprecedented, and it directly rushed to the top 1 of the most concerned books of the year on Douban. Li Yinhe, Feng Tang, Jiang Fangzhou and other celebrities have given the book a high evaluation, and the scholar Zhi'an has praised the author for being comparable to Zhang Ailing.
Unfortunately, no matter how beautiful, the young author Lin Yihan could not hear it, and less than two months after publishing this unprecedented "Fang Siqi's First Love Paradise", she hanged herself.
What is even more painful is that what happened to Fang Siqi in the book is the author's experience, being XQ, suffering from depression, all of which really happened to this talented female writer.
When I first read this book, I dare not imagine that this good girl who sees the homeless man dressed in shabby clothes and will be in tears can be called by the male teacher XQ for 5 years, but never thought of getting out?
I reread it 3 times, only to find that a good girl like Fang Siqi was just ruined by the word "good". Lin Yihan is such a good girl, I advise you not to be too obedient.
01. Good girls are mostly too obedient
After Fang Siqi in the book went crazy, Fang's mother still did not know how her daughter changed from a well-behaved girl to a mental illness. What an ignorant mother!
After being QB at the home of Chinese language teacher Li Guohua for the first time, Li Guohua asked Si Qi if she would take the essay the next week, right? Si Qi did not know how to answer, what she thought in her heart was:
"When you don't know how to answer adults, it's best to say yes."
When I went to Li Guohua's house for the second time, Fang Siqi's whole person had begun to be abnormal. But she still didn't say a word.
The third time, Li Guohua, who was getting bolder and bolder, simply went to the house and wanted to take Siqi to the small hotel in the name of watching the exhibition.
Fang's mother was not half alert, and after first agreeing to it, she turned her head and said to Siqi: "Don't say thank you, don't you want to change your clothes?" ”
Under such a "one-word" family education, Xiao Siqi was used to obeying the words and doing it, she knew what she would face, or said "thank you" in a straight word.
Since then, Li Guohua has "asked" Siqi more and more times, and has traveled to almost every small hotel nearby.
After the obedient honest girls were injured, most of them did not even show the way they shouted for help.
Si Qi used "our tutor seems to have everything, that is, there is no x education" at the dinner table to ask her mother for help, and after getting the reply that "x education is for those who need x", she once again chose to be a good child who is obedient.
After going to high school, Si Qi could completely choose to live in the school to get rid of Li Guohua's clutches, but she could not say no in her mouth, she was used to obeying, accustomed to obedience. Even if it was 100% harmful to her.
Psychologist Frank Kadler said:
"One of the most unfortunate facts of life is that the first major ordeal we suffered came mostly from our families."
Too many parents pay too much attention to raising an obedient child, and I don't know how many girls are ruined by the obedience required by their parents.
The well-behaved girl who is liked by her parents is the little sheep who is the best in the eyes of the bad guys, used to saying "good" in everything, accustomed to the words of adults that cannot be refuted, and when they encounter gangsters, they will not even be able to say the words of refusal.
There are problems with good girls, but the bigger problem comes from ignorant family education, and several girls in the book who are also defiled by Li Guohua may be parents like Fang Siqi's parents standing behind them.
02 Take the initiative to take the blame on yourself
When she was first XQ, Fang Siqi was only 13 years old, and after being QQ by Li Guohua, Fang Siqi actually said: "I'm sorry." ”
After the spirit has gone wrong, Fang Siqi is still going to the appointment, Li Guohua gave her the key to the small apartment, she took it; Li Guohua gave her a mobile phone for convenience, she continued; Li Guohua asked her to wait there, and she passed on time.
After entering puberty, Fang Siqi subconsciously liked Xiao Cai, a boy of the same age, but in her opinion, this idea was unfaithful to the teacher. As a result, she felt pain.
Once, Siqi was too tired to have GX with the teacher, after taking the initiative to go to the appointment, she used the menstrual period to push off, and after being discovered by Li Guohua, Fang Siqi would still only say "I'm sorry." ”
Fang Siqi is a child, blindly making mistakes at an ignorant age, counting as young and ignorant, the words of another 26-year-old girl in the book, Xu Yiwen, after being abused by her husband Yiwei countless times, are very confusing.
After the second pregnancy, Yi Wen, who had already lost 1 child, was inevitably punched and kicked by Yi Wei and almost died with the child in his belly.
Even so, in the face of her husband's question "Do you want a divorce", Yi Wen, like Si Qi, replied with "I'm sorry".
After the divorce, Yi Wei pretended to be a duck and used a sentence of "Please", so that Yi Wen, who had recovered a life, opened the door for him again and had a GX with him again.
The book describes Ewen's psychology this way: I really can't hate him.
Seeing this paragraph, I thought of Mr. Lu Xun's words: Mourn his misfortune, and be angry with him! Obviously it is the fault of the scumbag, how can they, as victims, instead repent?
There are also many such girls around, obviously not her fault, but they take all the faults on themselves and fall into the misunderstanding of excessive reflection.
As everyone knows, excessive concessions will only spoil more and more evil people, there is no right and wrong view of people, kindness can not move him at all, but relentless resistance and lessons, in order to make the other party dare not be arrogant.
03 Hurt, don't protect yourself
The first time she was XQed at Li Guohua's house, the mother downstairs was talking on the phone, but Si Qi did not have any distress. It is reasonable to say that this is the best opportunity to ask for help, human evidence, physical evidence, and scenes, there is enough evidence to prove Li Guohua's crime.
But how fang Siqi solved it, Li Guohua's sentence:
"That's how the teacher loves you, you know?"
What came to her mind was:
"To fall in love with a teacher, you can do whatever your loved one wants to you, can't you?"
From the two thousand nights after being XQ by Li Guohua, as soon as Fang Siqi closed her eyes, she would dream of being screened by the teacher QB, so frightened that she could not sleep.
Being tortured so much that she couldn't stand it, Fang Siqi did not find her parents to accompany her to see a psychologist, but when Li Guohua asked her to have GX again, she told the wolf master that she wanted to see a psychologist.
Li Guohua, the old fox, immediately became alert and asked Fang Siqi:
"Are you going to see a psychiatrist?" Or do you want to talk to a psychiatrist about something? What will the psychiatrist ask you? ”
You hear how our little white rabbit answered:
"I don't say anything, I just want to sleep well and remember things."
Until she was completely mad, Fang Siqi did not tell anyone about her 5 years of humiliation experience by QB.
Seeing that Lin Yihan's incarnation of Fang Siqi was so small-white, I couldn't help but lift out the famous words of the grumpy Wei Yongluo and use the loudspeaker with the strongest amplification effect to wake her up: People's hearts are good, and they should know how to protect themselves.
We don't hurt people, but we can't be hurt by others, minors don't have enough strength to fight, but they must firmly choose to ask adults for help, even if they lie to the evil people, it is also right.
However, the good girls could not think of this, nor did they dare to take this step, these tough means violated the code of conduct of "being kind to others" in their cognition.
In the end, we will find an indisputable fact: "bad" girls will go around, while good girls will be injured repeatedly.
04 Mei Niang said
The book was published in 2017, and there were more than 8,100 girls who had experienced the same experience as the author that year.
Behind this huge number, there are many nightmares of good girls, even if we give a thousand times more sympathy, they can not live a normal life like their peers.
Tears are useless, we have to act. As the parents of girls, especially those with beautiful daughters, they really can't let down their vigilance, and when educating girls, don't blindly ask them to be obedient and well-behaved.
We feel that we are innocent girls coming in, but in the eyes of the bad guys, it is their delicious prey.
The reality is so cruel, no one can guarantee that they encounter good people, so it is very important for girls to know how to resist and know how to protect themselves!
This book, which deals with the two major social issues of children's XQ and family education, has attracted widespread attention from the society as soon as it was published, and it has also made the girls who have read the book less injured.
Therefore, whether it is a parent with children or a girl who has just grown into adolescence, it is worth putting this book on the same level as the school textbook and reading it again and again.
Girls have a high score, although it is good, but with a real X education, it is possible to truly go to happiness, if necessary, it will really save your life!
This is a book that cannot be read in one breath, and needs to be stopped and breathed again, and the suppressed and true words in it are outrageous, but they can give girls the most real education and warning.
Lin Yihan, the world kisses you bitterly, but you repay it with a book, in heaven, I think, you must be the most beautiful angel, but the too pure angel in the human world, will always be remembered by the devil!
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