There is a kind of child called "someone else's child":
They are both well-behaved and well-behaved, and they are proficient in eighteen martial arts...
While envious, have you ever wondered how "other people's parents" do?
Today we share an article by a "xueba" who was admitted to Tsinghua University, hoping to give parents some new inspiration.
Just test your true level
Since elementary school, my parents have asked me this way, as long as the learning attitude is good, how many points on the exam will not blame me, so I have no pressure on the score on the exam, so there are few times when the performance is abnormal, and the results are not much worse.
My experience is: do your homework as carefully as you would with an exam, and take the exam as easily as you do your homework.
In junior high school, my mother told me again: exams, as long as you test your real level, you can.
For example, in a certain exam, your real level is 90 points, and you score 90 points, which is very good.
If, for some reason, you only get a 70, then Mom and Dad will regret it for you, because your efforts have not been reciprocated.
In our family, the reaction caused by the score is basically calm, whether it is 100 points or 80 points, there is no big response.
Life is everywhere is an examination room, calmly face it, and test your true level. In our family, material things are not linked to grades and grades.
Material things can bring convenience to life, and what mom and dad can afford financially, they will buy for me, which has nothing to do with grades. Mom and Dad believe that that kind of hooking can easily cultivate children's utilitarian thoughts, and deviate from the essence of learning and life.
I don't lack pocket money, I have a bank card in my wallet, and in the small box at home, my parents often put a few hundred yuan of change for backup.
The concept of parents is that in today's era of temptation, children are not short of money, do not lack love, and the probability of detours outside is much smaller.
Enjoy life
The ultimate goal of education is to give children the ability to create a happy life and enjoy life.
Mom and Dad feel that enjoying life, don't say wait until you grow up, but start today, from now on.
Once, a grandmother said to me, your parents are so good to you, you must study hard, grow up to repay your parents.
My mother corrected this statement and said to me: The reward for my parents is not a high score, but from now on, live well, every day.
So, learning is just an important part of my life, but not all.
Make friends, watch movies, dress up beautifully, play with puppies and dogs, play games on the Internet appropriately, relax and go to the countryside to accompany my loving grandmother, grandmother and grandfather, talk about boys who have a good feeling, etc.
These make my life very rich, but also make my life full of love, the fire of life burning with passion.
Mom said that she felt my understanding of love in every one of my essays.
Read the classics
Reading the classics is the key to learning a good language. It is also an important way to understand life.
The reason why a classic is a classic must have its excellence. Since last year, I have been reading foreign classics. I feel strongly that my essay and exam reading questions have all gone up a level.
When reading, I don't necessarily feel the obvious effect, but when I write an essay, the literary style of the pen seems to be not my own, trickling out.
This is the influence of culture, unconsciously integrated into the life of the reader.
It is recommended that you do not let your children read that kind of fast food books, such as various magazines, fairy tales, how to succeed and fast,etc., but read classic world masterpieces.
You may not be able to find the feeling when you first read it, but after reading two or three books, you will find the rhythm.
Once, my mother asked me: Do you feel pleasure when you read famous books? I said, feel it! At that moment, my mother was very relieved.
Because, pleasure, is the highest level of enjoyment.
From the perspective of the role of the stage, reading the classics can improve the language score by about ten points, which is very important for the middle and high school entrance examinations.
The moisturizer is silent
Today's children are extremely rebellious, and I am no exception.
For example, reading, listening to music, these things, my mother did very casually, without showing traces, according to my emotions.
When I want to rest or do something else, she will respect my opinion and not force the apportionment.
Training independence
From a young age, my parents consciously cultivated my independence. Because, children cannot live under the wings of their parents for a lifetime.
Respect your child's choice, that's the most important thing.
Because many things in life are not only one choice, there can be many choices, and each choice has a certain truth. Don't judge your child with the choices in your parents' hearts.
For example: When I was five years old, it was hot, I came out of kindergarten, I was thirsty and wanted a drink. My mother gave me money and told me to buy it myself. I was shy, because I had never tried, and I was afraid and wouldn't go on my own.
Mom told me that now you have two options, one is to buy it yourself and drink it. One is not to buy it yourself, then endure it, go home and drink water. I hesitated, chose not to buy, and endured.
Mom felt that this was also a choice, and respected me and did not evaluate me.
In elementary school, it rained after school, and my mother would not take the initiative to send an umbrella. She knows that I will always find a way, such as sharing with my classmates, such as doing homework in the classroom first, such as going to the supermarket to avoid the rain, and stopping by the supermarket. Because, I once told my mother, your daughter is not as stupid as you think, and she will always think of a way.
Another example: Now when I buy clothes, my mother is only responsible for paying for it. Last time, I went with my classmates to buy a stall, bought a shirt for 25 yuan, wore it to school, my mother said it was still beautiful, but suggested that I cut those threads, don't let people see the stalls at a glance. The second time, I went to buy another one, and when I got it back, I felt small. My mother didn't judge me either, suggesting that I give it to a friend who was a little shorter than me.
It was all my choice, and mom and dad respected me. Do not make negative comments.
That's it, I think all the way, my parents respect all the way, I gradually grew up, I don't run away from things, I learn to think, and I have my own opinions.
About carelessness
I often hear parents say this about their children, my children know a lot of wrong topics this time, it is careless.
Here, I would like to share our family's point of view.
Since the fifth grade, my mother has told me: carelessness is poor ability and poor learning!
At any time, don't say it's because you didn't do well because you didn't do well. Parents are also asked not to make this excuse for their children to shirk their responsibilities.
Careful, calm, down-to-earth is a necessary ability, if you have these abilities, occasionally lose one or two points, it is understandable, more than two points, is the ability is still lacking, learning is not solid.
My mother began to communicate with me in the fifth grade, and I gradually agreed with this point of view.
Therefore, I can normally get a high score and a stable score, and this view should play a big role.
Develop your child's abilities
Parents should let go and try to let go as much as possible within the controllable range.
For example, to do one thing, the child to do, may only be able to score 30 points, you are not satisfied, scold him, or even do it for him, the effect of the thing at that time can be scored 90 points. But please note that this 90 points will always be your 90 points, and the child is still 0 points.
If you let him do it, point it out in a way that he doesn't dislike, this time it may be only 30 points, the next time it may be 60 points, and the next time, it may be 95 points, or even better than you do.
Therefore, parents should learn to show weakness wisely, give up opportunities to their children, and encourage and affirm their children in time. Mom and Dad will eventually grow old, and they must learn to give the stage to their children in a timely manner and let them play.
Children can only grow up, be independent, and then surpass their parents in practice and thinking again and again. After the yangtze river beat the front wave, my parents were often very happy to be photographed dead on the beach by me.
Appreciate support and care for self-esteem
The Chinese nation is a humble nation. In terms of educating children, it is easy to walk into a misunderstanding: not paying attention to appreciating the advantages of children, and overemphasizing children's mistakes.
When I do it right, mom and dad will affirm me and praise me in time.
When the mother talks to friends and talks about the child, she will fully affirm the advantages of the child.
We occasionally hear that the surface will pretend not to care, in fact, we are very concerned, to get affirmed of these advantages, we will continue to insist, better and better.
They will calibrate their words and deeds according to the excellent appearance described by their parents.
When a child makes a mistake, analyze it on a case-by-case basis. Don't be in a hurry, don't turn over old accounts. Face things correctly and correct them.
Things are over, continue to live a good life, do not overemphasize and extend negative emotions.