After my daughter worked, she asked me a question, what is something that you have only begun to understand until now.
I know what my daughter means, she is very eager to use my experience to give herself a reference when she first enters the society, and avoid some avoidable mistakes.
It's gratifying, but it's also tangled.
It is gratifying that she does not have a passion for society, self-righteousness, at least with the caution she should have.
The tangled thing is that even if I tell her thoroughly, some things must be experienced before I can understand them.
After thinking about it and thinking about it, I still summed up some of my own realizations and said to her, show her, good evil, and also think ahead.
First, effort alone is not enough.
Struggle again, desire again, there is no clear direction, can not see their actual ability, can not find their own strengths and likes, hard work to the end is disappointed. This, without going through time, is invisible to the vast majority of people.
Second, nothing will remain static.
Love, friendship, family, work and life dreams, any one that does not always maintain its original appearance and temperature, will change with a person's growth. So, don't expect it forever, don't just pin your hopes on it.
Third, all roads are walked by one person.
No matter how many people around you, how many emotions you have in your heart, in the end, or in the face of difficulties, you will always find that it can only be a person's choice, a person's face, and no one can accompany them throughout their lives.
Fourth, dreams are always moving away from reality.
No matter how many dreams there are, no matter how many desires there are, at a certain moment to know that life is actually very simple, can not tolerate too many ideas, and then strive to desire, and then think a hundred times, it is nothing more than a room, a person, a meal and a bed.
Fifth, there is no such thing as a fully self-life.
Although they all want to live according to their own wishes, it does not matter what others think and evaluate, but no one can be separated from the crowd and society, and no one can be a completely independent individual. To be recognized and accepted, there must be compromises, even love.
Sixth, a lot of the hardship is because of ourselves.
Life looks very simple, nothing more than joys and sorrows, but its difficulty and complexity lie in the fact that in all of us, we are making trade-offs, choosing, measuring, comparing, and then constantly making mistakes and regrets.
Seventh, all gains come at a cost.
Nothing is easy, nothing is logical, there is nothing to take for granted, everything that can be grasped by oneself, family affection, friendship and even opportunity, in the end, need to use time and responsibility to double the repayment.
Eighth, time must have cause and effect.
Life is never a natural process, and the causes planted in youth are bound to manifest in old age. How arrogant, profligate, how indifferent, how wasteful, how cautious, regretful, regretful and heart-wrenching grief in old age.
Ninth, always have empathy.
At the end of the day, it's kindness. The younger you are, the less you can see the hardships of others, the pain of others, the efforts of others, the hardships of others, and even despise, despise, and disdain. But the more you see, the more you can understand life.
Tenth, don't easily define success.
When you are young, it is often very realistic, very material, easy to concretize, and easy to get lost, but only in middle age, to old age, will you sigh, real success lies in the heart, the heart is uneasy, and it is difficult to live a lifetime.
Eleventh, the goal should not exceed three years.
From adolescence, we have put our lives far in the future, always thinking about how it will be when we reach thirty and how we will be in forty, but we forget that there is no present, the future can never be expected, and if we do not correct mistakes in time, the future will never come. Make mistakes when you can make mistakes and then correct them, pursue a little wave when it is flat as water, three years is enough, and then you can have another three years. But if you use ten years as a paragraph, then most of your life is really over.
Twelfth, no one can decide their own life.
Life is actually very long, no one can arrange and control a person's life from beginning to end, nor will it make a person's life easily end because of ups and downs. As long as life exists, feelings exist, and you are willing, life can always go on.
Hollow? It is indeed empty, but to be concrete, I can't do anything about it, because all the realizations I have experienced, my daughter herself, will not be able to understand. Moreover, we are in two eras, and our experiences are bound to be very different.
But so what? No matter how much I love, I can't replace or manipulate my daughter to live her life.
So, at least my daughter and I have shown an attitude towards life.
(Like my text, please pay attention to the public number: middle-aged emotional chatters.) ）