The recently exploded TV series "Dear Child", has everyone watched it?
In fact, Chang Dad originally did not plan to watch, but open the mobile phone, everywhere is the editing and spoilers of this drama, a few articles to read down, the plot also knows a seven seven eight eight.
The most emotional thing may be the protagonist Fang Yinuo - she is also too miserable, right?
He fought half his life in the hospital to give birth, but his husband watched TV at home like no one else;
After giving birth to the child, the husband did not have any comfort, but panicked and gave the placenta to the mother-in-law, so as to supplement the body of the little uncle;
The mother-in-law took the baby to rely on the old and sold the old, smoked in front of the child, and insisted on using the diaper of more than ten years ago...
The first few episodes alone have already provoked the anger of Chang Dad, and it is no wonder that so many mothers have said that they are anxious about themselves.
Especially when I knew that this TV series had a prototype, her name was Yan Ying. After learning about this mother's real experience, I have an inexplicable sense of loss for this drama.
Compared with Fang Yinuo, Yan Ying's experience is more tortuous, and the suffering she endures is more desperate.
In 2008, Yan Ying's rescue of her son caused a lot of social concern, and according to news media reports, I sorted out her story. I sincerely feel that everyone should know this mother, and believe that the tenacity and bravery of an ordinary mother in the real world will bring you and me resonance and inspiration.
The hilarity was theirs, and I had nothing
In 2008, Yan Ying became a "celebrity" in the eyes of Guiyang people. The film "Left and Right", based on her story, won the "Silver Bear Award for Best Screenplay" at the Berlin Film Festival, and screenwriter and director Wang Xiaochuan specially invited Yan Ying to participate in the Chengdu premiere of "Left and Right".
(The movie "Left and Right" tells the story of two people who have divorced and remarried separately in order to save their leukemia daughter and decide to have another child.) ）
Returning from the premiere, many people asked Yan Ying:
"Did you get a lot of money?"
"You can buy a house with everything you want, right?"
Yan Ying just smiled bitterly and said nothing.
She didn't get the money, and she didn't even finish watching the movie at the premiere.
"When I saw that the child was diagnosed with leukemia, I cried a lot, and I didn't know what was played later." Later, I bought a dish, but I still couldn't see it when I saw it, which was too sad. ”
Pirated discs of "Left and Right" can be bought in the hands of any DVD vendor. Yan Ying herself went to the stall and bought a pirated disc.
At that time, the eldest son had been dead for 2 years. She didn't have the time and energy to chew on the pain, she had two sons to raise, and she had to go to someone else's house to work as a nanny to earn money.
But as long as there is leisure and the brain is empty, the face and voice of the eldest son will burrow in.
She gave everything she could, did everything she could, and still didn't keep this cute, sensible, and excellent child.
Tragedy is the destruction of beautiful things for people to see
Yan Ying, 18 years ago, was a person with light in his eyes.
In 1990, Yan Ying and her husband Qin Deqiang newly married Yan'er, and the two came to Guiyang from the countryside to work together. In 1993, he gave birth to the eldest son, Qin Xinfa, and in 1995, he gave birth to the younger son, Qin Xinfu.
Later, they relied on hard work and hard work to buy a house and a car in Guiyang, and everything developed in a beautiful direction. Especially the eldest son, who has been smart and clever since he was a child, has always been a top student in school and is very popular with teachers and classmates.
There is hope and strength, which has always been the main theme of this family.
Until one day, 7-year-old Qin Xinfa said that his leg hurt. Yan Ying took her son to the hospital, and the doctor did not care at first, thinking that it was ordinary growth pain.
But the pain continued, and the doctor asked him to check the blood again. When he got the results, the doctor pulled Yan Ying into the room alone and said:
"Your son may have leukemia."
Yan Ying couldn't believe it. She hurriedly took the child to Shanghai for examination and determined that her son had one of the leukemias:
Myelodysplastic syndrome (MDS).
The first chemotherapy lasted 23 days and was performed in Beijing. Yan Ying was afraid of spending money and lay on the street for 13 nights, eating only 2 steamed buns a day.
The bad news is that this trip cost more than 80,000 yuan, exceeding Yan Ying's expectations. The good news is that Yan Ying learned from the doctor the way to cure her son - to find a match for bone marrow transplantation.
In order to make up money, Yan Ying sold the car and the house, but it was still not enough. Under the heavy pressure, her husband Qin Deqiang could not hold on. He lost his temper, threw things, and even beat Yan Ying.
The sensible eldest son looked at his parents' pain and struggle and decided not to drag them down anymore. He committed suicide twice, once by eating a lot of Contec (a cold medicine that was life-threatening) and once by rat poison.
Looking at her son who was rescued, Yan Ying felt that she could not go on like this anymore, and she wanted a divorce. As a result of the agreement, the husband took the younger son, and Yan Ying was responsible for the eldest son and bore all the cost of treatment.
But at this time, Yan Ying saw hope.
Countless nights want to retreat, but there is love
Hope is in the youngest son.
The Sichuan Cord Blood Stem Cell Bank gave the two brothers a blood matching, and the results showed that the two people were completely matched.
Yan Ying and her two sons hugged each other, crying and laughing.
There is no problem with matching, and the next biggest problem is money.
Bone marrow transplant surgery costs 200,000 yuan, starting from 2,000 to 3,000 per treatment. Yan Ying, who did not recruit, could only go to sell blood, begging the blood station manager to draw blood for himself, in exchange for the amount of blood needed by the eldest son, "at least a few thousand milliliters" before and after.
During that time, her face was pale, and the younger son saw the needle eye on his mother's arm and cried in fright.
Yan Ying comforted the child while worrying about how to get money.
On June 2, 2005, she knelt in front of the vice mayor of Renhuai City, Guizhou Province, with her eldest son, and asked the other party to help him.
In just three days, the Women's Federation and the civil affairs department raised 201,000 yuan, and the people of the city paid close attention to the child with leukemia.
The money was raised, but Yan Ying became a liar in everyone's eyes.
Because when the doctor examined the eldest son, he found that he was infected with hepatitis B because of too many blood transfusions, and he had to treat hepatitis B first, and then undergo a bone marrow transplant.
When someone heard the news, they called and asked for a refund. After clarifying this misunderstanding, another blow followed.
Doctors said the 10-year-old son could not donate bone marrow because he was not yet a minor. The surgery was again shelved.
What's next?
Yan Ying found a way from another couple, that is, to have another child and save the eldest son with umbilical cord blood.
The doctor specifically reminded: "There is only a 25% chance of successful matching." ”
Yan Ying didn't care, she could bear anything in front of her son's life, even if she lost her dignity.
"I felt like I was being raped"
She decided to persuade her ex-husband, who had been divorced for two years, to have another child.
The moment she dialed the phone, she felt quite mean. Even more embarrassing is the ex-husband's refusal:
"When you first wanted to get a divorce, now you use me and come to me again, what do you think of me?"
The phone hung up, called again, and no one answered.
Yan Ying could only take his eldest son to the door to plead, and both knelt in front of Qin Deqiang.
The eldest son cried and said:
"Daddy, I don't want to die, you and Mommy are all right!"
Qin Deqiang agreed. They lived together for a month, there was no communication or interaction, it was all about having another child.
Yan Ying recalled those days and said:
"That life is really indescribable, like walking in a strange place and being raped."
Fortunately, Yan Ying was successfully pregnant.
As an elderly pregnant woman, she did not enjoy any preferential treatment and still stayed in front of her eldest son's bed 24 hours a day as usual. Eat, eat the leftovers of other patients. When you sleep, lay down on a cool mat and lie on the ground.
During that time, she carried two pieces of guilt, one for the new life in her stomach, worried about affecting the development of the fetus, and the other for her long-term sick eldest son, who felt that she was useless.
On September 1, 2006, Yan Ying gave birth to her young son by caesarean section, and the umbilical cord blood was sent to match the first time. But this time, Yan Ying was once again teased by fate:
The brothers did not succeed in their matching.
The hope she had given up her dignity for was shattered.
When everyone was hesitant to tell her, Yan Ying had already guessed the result. She cried out in her hospital bed:
"I've done all the things I can do for the new hair, why doesn't God open his eyes, poor poor my child!"
In the last days of his life, the most common thing the eldest son did was to be in a daze, vomit blood, and comfort his mother and brother, "You have to live well" is the most he said.
Yan Ying clearly remembers that the last words spoken by the eldest son were "Can you buy me some porridge to eat?" She carried her young son downstairs, and when she came up again, there were many people around the door of the ward.
Doctors were taking turns rescuing him, and his son could no longer speak, his eyes still watching her.
Yan Ying burst into tears, and when she thought of her son leaving, she didn't even eat porridge, and she even wanted to jump off the building and walk with her child.
But she had a new life on her back, and this child was innocent.
The eldest son was gone after all, and Yan Ying lost his personal wealth twice.
At the opening ceremony of "Left and Right", the host asked Yan Ying to speak. Yan Ying held the microphone and stood for a long time, tears pouring out of the corners of her eyes, and her mouth seemed to be blocked, and she couldn't open it.
The scene was silent, only Yan Ying's crying echoed in the air. After a long time, she only said one sentence: "I am very grateful to the kind people who have helped me, thank the crew." ”
In the face of great grief, she still chose to be patient as usual.
She was not as lucky as Fang Yinuo, there were not so many people around her to help her, and she did not remarry after the divorce. She had nowhere to escape her fate, and could only support her two sons on her own, and live day by day.
She returned to Guiyang with her two sons and worked as a nanny in a housekeeping company. She didn't say a word about the past. She said: "I still have to go on, and I don't want to affect my work. ”
And her ex-husband did not remarry, and during the break between work, she would come back to see her two children.
Neither of them mentioned remarriage again, and the death of the eldest son and the various discord between the two of them, like a chasm, drew two people who had been intimate on either side.
Everything is calm, everything becomes routine, but everything is different from the past.
Finally, I would like to talk about my views on whether the drama "Dear Child" is "selling anxiety" or "reflecting reality".
Some people think that this drama is very real, almost like a fertility documentary, a true picture of the fertility dilemma that every mother may face.
I also recognize this, the first episode of Fang Yinuo's stomach on the red, eye-catching stretch marks, so that many of the friends who have already given birth to a baby can not distinguish between true and false for a while.
But at the same time, from the plot point of view, this drama does have the suspicion of deliberately creating contradictions. For example, the child was sick on a rainy day, and it happened that the old man fell down that day, and the contradiction broke out in a concentrated way...
I understand the practice of the drama side, the reason why they deliberately show and collide the dilemma faced by women is to play a social effect of quickly provoking nerves, arousing attention and discussion, which is a very exaggerated artistic creation.
But because of this, amplifying a lot of negative emotions and content, reflecting the suffering in marriage and life too concentrated, many mothers will involuntarily say that they are substituted for it when they watch it, thus causing a greater emotional reaction.
Therefore, such a popular drama, Chang Dad does not recommend most people to watch (especially mothers). Especially at present, because of the epidemic and the turmoil of the general environment, many people are already anxious and stressed. It is understandable that film and television works originate from life above life, although this is a good film, but it is easy to make people inexplicably depressed after watching it. If everyone really wants to see, Chang Dad suggests not to have too much sense of substitution, after all, this is someone else's life, not yours.
Life is not a TV series, there is no eternal suffering in the world, and we are not Fang Yinuo. We do not need to decide our attitude towards marriage and childbirth according to a TV series, nor do we need to force psychological construction, deliberately looking for the plot in the TV series in real life, highlighting our misfortunes.
It is at best an eye-catching topic, and as soon as the limelight passes, the sun will rise tomorrow, and our lives will continue to be in order.
And the pain and hardship of Yan Ying in the real world is repressed, it is silent, it is more bitter to say, it is better not to say, just like most ordinary people in this world.
The joys and sorrows of the world continue to be staged, and no matter how great the suffering and joy that have been, they will be calmed down under the baptism of time, and it will be difficult to make waves again.
For us ordinary people, the most simple survival philosophy is to encounter difficulties, survive, and survive.
Did you watch the show? What are your thoughts? Welcome to discuss.