He who loves others, he who loves others, he who respects others, he who respects others, respects others, he who respects others, he
In this life, people always have to go through ups and downs.
If it is beautiful, it is called wonderful. If it's bad, it's called an experience.
Mr. Jiang Xun once said: There is nothing bad in this world, and you must learn to appreciate different beauty at different stages of life.
An age, a state of mind, a realization.
When you have reached these three realms, you can be considered to have a thorough understanding of life.
01
Being on a high place, and a pleasant face.
The ancients clouded that gentlemen had five virtues: "gentle, good, respectful, frugal, and let".
And the harmony of the face is the fourth, that is, gentle and kind, respectful and humble.
A true gentleman, even if he is in a high place, always treats others with a pleasant face, and never commands him.
I once read a report about Ren Zhengfei on the Internet:
Once, when Ren Zhengfei was on a business trip in Beijing, he invited several professors to a restaurant for dinner.
The waiter of the day was a newly recruited "post-90s" intern, probably because the first day of work was very unskilled.
One of Ren's assistants was dissatisfied with her service and criticized her on the spot.
Unexpectedly, the waiter was afraid of losing his job, and he cried urgently.
Ren Zhengfei saw the situation, immediately went forward to gently comfort her, and said to his assistant, do not be so fierce to the waiters, they in order to live, so young age, run to Beijing to work, it is not easy, treat them more kindly.
Before leaving, Ren Zhengfei returned the tip to the waiter.
Throughout the ages, all those who have achieved great success have all looked forward to it, that is, they have also been warm.
According to historical records, Zhao Zhen, Emperor Renzong of Song, has always been gentle and is deeply loved by the people.
Once, Song Renzong was eating a meal, and suddenly ate a grain of sand and stone, and his teeth were in severe pain.
The palace maid who was serving on the side was very panicked and quickly knelt down to confess her mistake.
But Song Renzong not only did not make a fuss, but instead said to the palace maid with a pleasant face: "There is no need to publicize this matter." ”
Mencius said: He who loves others will always love him; he who respects others will always respect him.
People who are pleasant in color, raising their hands and feet, can always make people feel like a spring breeze, willing to be hungry;
And the domineering generation, even if it has achieved something, it makes people feel afraid and avoid it.
As the saying goes, a humble gentleman, gentle as jade.
Being in a high position but always maintaining a pleasant face is the best cultivation for a person.
02
Treat people and things, observe words and colors.
There is a question on zhihu: what is the performance of people with high emotional intelligence?
There is a high praise answer below: look at people's faces, listen to sounds, and know how to observe words and colors.
I once saw a story like this:
When Li Hongzhang was on a tour of Tianjin, in order to curry favor with him, the local officials ordered Yang Ba, a famous tea soup master in Tianjin, to come and offer tea soup.
When Li Hongzhang took up the tea soup and was just about to taste it, he suddenly frowned and threw his hands to knock the tea soup to the ground.
Seeing Li Hongzhang's expression, Yang Ba immediately guessed the reason for this.
He knew that most people who drank tea soup for the first time would mistakenly see the sesame seeds floating on it as dirty soil that had fallen into it.
So Yang Ba preemptively knelt down to make amends to Li Hongzhang:
"Adults please stop their anger, the little people do not know in advance that adults do not like to eat crushed sesame seeds, so they sprinkled sesame seeds in the tea soup." I also hope that the adults can be magnanimous and spare the inadvertent actions of the villains! ”
Hearing this, Li Hongzhang's face immediately turned from yin to sunny.
He secretly admired Yang Ba's cleverness and wit, not only read through his mind, explained that there was no dirty thing in the tea soup, but also took care of his own face.
So Li Hongzhang said, "Those who do not know are not guilty." Although I don't like to eat chopped sesame seeds, your tea soup is famous for its full name, and it should also be rewarded. Come, reward one hundred and two silver. ”
A person who is good at observing the color of speech can not only make others resolve embarrassment, but also help himself to overcome dangers.
Confucius also once said: Fudaye is straight and righteous, observing words and looking at colors, and caring for the following people.
This means that if a person wants to develop, he must not only be honest and righteous, but most importantly, learn to observe the color of speech, and achieve the inner square and the outer circle.
In the workplace, if we can understand the voice of leadership, we can take fewer detours in our work and get more opportunities;
In life, if we can detect the unspeakable secrets of our friends, we can learn to understand and understand the difficulties of others in our interactions.
As the saying goes, go out to see the sky, and enter the door to see the face.
Observing the color is not to see the wind and make the rudder, nor is it flattering, but a kind of improvisational wisdom.
When you learn to look at the color, you can be successful in any relationship.
03
At a low ebb, silent.
The recent hit drama "The Perfect Partner" makes people watch it very heart-wrenchingly.
The male protagonist, Gongsun Lei, lost his original stable job because of a mistake.
Although he found a new job, Sun Lei, who was scattered, could not adapt to the high-intensity new position.
After only three days of work, he was persuaded by his boss to quit.
The roof leaked during the overnight rain, and the pregnant wife needed to raise a baby at home because of a fall.
At the moment, mortgages, car loans and family financial expenses... The burden of the whole family was all on him.
Even though it is full of worries, there is nowhere to vent. He did not want to disappoint his wife, and he did not want his daughter to see the incompetence and vulnerability of her father.
He could only endure all his grievances and secretly hide in the bathroom to get a moment's breath.
However, the paper package could not hold the fire, and his wife still discovered the secret of his loss of work, and in anger, he miscarried. The marriage of two people is also in jeopardy.
Faced with the double blow of career and life, this 40-year-old middle-aged man can only silently drink and cry in the middle of the night.
Because he knew that life would not give him the opportunity to be temperamental, at dawn, he would continue to grit his teeth and move forward.
He secretly told himself that he could not give up, even if it was the most ordinary job, he must make some achievements.
He wants to be the pride of his daughter, and he must use actions to save his beloved wife.
The adult world is always like this, silently collapsing while quietly healing itself.
Fu Seoul said in "Strange Story":
People's tragedies and joys are not connected, and the collapse of adults does not require an audience.
The collapse that cannot be hidden can only be a scar, and the collapse that is hidden is a medal.
Therefore, when we are in a low valley, do not pin our hopes on others, and do not tell others about our misfortunes.
People who hate you will secretly rejoice about what happened to you, and people who care about you can only show sympathy at best.
As Sanmao once wrote in "Send You a Horse":
The heart is like a thousand miles, thousands of miles away, of which there is no boat to cross people, except for self-crossing, others can not help.
In the trough, please do not disturb anyone, but quietly be your own ferryman.
04
Life is always in the sea, floating and sinking in an instant.
No matter what kind of situation you are in, you must have an open-minded and transparent state of mind.
When you have achieved a pleasant face, you have the cultivation of being approachable and not proud;
When you understand the observation of words and colors, you understand the wisdom of seeing opportunities and acting flexibly;
When you learn to be silent, you will reap the maturity of a thousand sails.
Romain Rolland famously said: There is only one kind of heroism in the world, that is, after recognizing the truth of life, still love life.
Click to watch, may we all be spoiled and not shocked, idle to watch the flowers blossom and fall before the court; to leave unintentional, with the clouds outside the sky cirrus clouds shu.
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