The Ming Dynasty literary scholar Chen Jiru's "Memoirs of the Small Window" has a saying: To make people have the joy of seeing at first sight, it is better to make people not tired of staying for a long time. The first time you meet, it is possible to see each other as you always have, and after a long time of interaction, it is difficult to say whether you can still be the same as when you were original.
Many people have such an experience: it is not difficult to communicate with people, meet and say hello, say hello, or occasionally do one thing together, but the difficulty is that they can get along for a long time but there has been no barrier and no boredom with each other.
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The fact is that many former partners, colleagues, and friends have gradually drifted apart over time, which has the objective reason that it is difficult to contact each other for different life goals, but more importantly, even if they live in the same city or even work in the same unit, they have become familiar strangers for various reasons.
The relationship between people and people is harmonious and harmonious, stemming from the sense of identity between each other, once the two sides have differences in thought, cognition, behavior, etc., and lose the sense of identity, there will inevitably be estrangement, and it is not surprising that they will eventually go their separate ways.
The well-known saying that "things are clustered by kinds, and people are divided by groups" summarizes the principle of gathering things and separating people, and only people with like-mindedness or empathy can get along for a long time without getting bored with each other.
However, even the best relationship cannot be intimate, and appropriate distance should be maintained, and appropriate distance can give both parties to the relationship the necessary freedom. Because sometimes a good relationship is also a burden, putting pressure on each other.
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In real life, whether it is the community where you live or the unit where you work, it is impossible for people with the same interests to live and work together, and no one can choose this, after all, the three views of people and people will not be exactly the same.
Is it that people with different ideological personalities and behaviors cannot get along with each other?
Nor is it.
Confucius said: Gentlemen are harmonious but different, and villains are the same but not harmonious.
The meaning is clear: a gentleman can maintain a harmonious and friendly relationship with others in interpersonal interactions, but he does not have to agree with the other party in his views on specific issues. Villains are accustomed to pandering to the psychology of others and echoing the words of others in their views on issues, but in their hearts they do not have a harmonious and friendly attitude.
In the process of getting along, based on sincerity and friendliness, mutual tolerance is also necessary, but tolerance is not unconditional, bottomless pandering, not blindly echoing and losing self.
The beauty of each is the best of both worlds, and the beauty of the United States is the same. Maintaining their own independence, but also being able to tolerate each other and expand consensus while seeking common ground while reserving differences may be the path for people with different ideas and understandings and different behaviors to get along with each other.
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People living in today's society, although they are burdened by complex interpersonal relationships and sometimes have the idea of escaping from the hustle and bustle, most of the time, most people are still happy to interact with people, they are willing to integrate into the group, and get along with people.
As individuals, we can stick to our individuality and maintain our independence, but we can't be overly self-righteous and too self-righteous.
Some people have the upper hand in talking and doing things well when interacting with people, and they like to advertise themselves and show off in various ways, which often makes others feel very uncomfortable.
Everyone has everyone's life, and we should learn to respect the choices of others and be considerate of others' involuntariness.
Getting along with people is not a one-man show, don't think of yourself as the only protagonist, others will not always be the audience or listeners, but some people have forgotten this.
It is a rare realm to stay for a long time, which has the university ask, and the little tricks cannot reach this realm.
Life is capricious
Picture and text| Chu Yanfeng
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