Do you feel that your marriage is like an ice prison, and the respect between partners is like "ice", like a strange road?
Or, always walking on thin ice around his partner, often carefully observing the ta's words, for fear that he will accidentally provoke the ta to be angry?
Or, feeling that your daily life is out of your control, but being manipulated and manipulated by your partner, you gradually become inferior, helpless and hopeless...
Guangzhou Psychological Counseling reminds that if the above situation exists in your family, then it is very likely that you are in a mentally violent relationship.
For most people, "domestic violence" is no longer an unfamiliar term.
Domestic violence falls into two broad categories: physical and mental violence.
Physical violence is easy to understand, including beating and bruising, hurting the other party, etc.;
Mental violence includes psychological abuse (restrictions on personal freedom and economic control), sexual abuse, and cold violence (the expression of coldness, contempt, laissez-faire, or alienation towards the other person when there is a conflict between husband and wife).
The movie "The Vanishing Lover" was voted the most chilling thriller movie. The film tells the story of an ordinary and loving couple, the wife Amy suddenly disappeared, the husband through a variety of ways to frantically search, but in a diary left by Amy found that all kinds of clues indicate that the husband killed his wife, later, Amy reappeared in the eyes of the public.
So what exactly did Amy do to her husband that made the audience before the movie tingle with fear?
After the beautiful and rich wife Amy found that her husband was leaving her to find a new love, she created an illusion that her husband was killing his wife, taking advantage of the one-sidedness of the public opinion media and the ignorance of the American people, making her husband speechless, rebellious, and discredited...
The end result is that Amy holds her husband firmly in the palm of her hand and controls everything. Although the husband was unwilling, he also had no way to ask for help, and could only admit his fate.
Amy's means of killing people without blood are actually "cold violence" in intimate relationships, that is, mental violence, which belongs to one of the acts of domestic violence.
"The Vanishing Lover" tells us that mental violence can leave no trace for the victim to suffer, life is worse than death, more damage than physical violence. Like brainwashing, it will erode the victim's self-esteem, pride, sense of security and trust little by little, and swallow up a person's self-awareness and self-worth little by little.
Eventually, it may cut off the victim's core presence in the world, causing a lifetime of indelible mental trauma and spiritual scars. Just like the husband in the movie, even if he knows the truth, he can't escape the control of his wife, but has become her accomplice.
In the long-term experience of mental violence, a person is prone to emotional vulnerability, inferiority, suspiciousness and feeling lonely; Because the body is under strong mental pressure for a long time, it is prone to many annoying physical and mental disorders (such as stomach pain, back pain and insomnia), and even cause more serious psychological diseases and self-harm (suicide) measures.
Moreover, mental violence can also cause subtle harm to children (especially underage children who are physically and mentally mature), not only to mutate their personality, but also to face greater difficulties in future problem-solving situations.
In addition, the film also tells us that there are both men and women in domestic violence, that men and women are equally likely to experience domestic violence, that domestic violence causes as much harm to male victims as female victims, and even that sometimes the harm to male victims is greater due to social prejudice.
However, mental violence leaves no traces, there are no scars on the limbs, and it is difficult for outsiders to find them in time. Therefore, although many families clearly have mental violence, they do not know that they are facing this problem, and it is difficult to seek professional help or take effective ways to improve the problem.
◎Common features of mental violence are:
1. Indifference, lack of empathy and compassion for your partner
2. Reduce verbal communication to a minimum
3. Persistent verbal attacks (frequently humiliating, belittling, mocking, or intimidating a partner in person or to others)
4. Completely irresponsible for family matters
5. Frequent use of means to make your partner feel guilty and make everything seem like your partner's fault
6. Excessive intimacy with the opposite sex makes the partner unhappy
7. Frequently cross your partner's boundaries and ignore your partner's requests
8. Mood changes are unpredictable
9. Controlling and dominating others by any means (such as controlling the partner with money, blaming the partner for something that has not happened, restricting the partner's personal freedom, threatening suicide as soon as the partner wants to leave...)
10. Sexual abuse (cessation or perfunctory life, or sexual violence)
If you feel that some of the above characteristics are also present in your intimate relationship, then immediately be vigilant, re-examine the intimate relationship, listen to the opinions and opinions of people you trust (family, friends), and ask for help. Because most likely, you're in a mental/emotionally abusive relationship.
If you feel that you are already trapped in it and unable to resist, or when the abuser's behavior is gradually spiraling out of control, please ask a professional for help to get out of the intimate relationship of mental violence.
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