01
In this society, there is a saying: "Multiple friends have many roads." ”
We always think that the more friends, the more roads, the future will be a smooth road. Is this really the truth? What most people blindly believe is not necessarily the truth.
In The Ragged Crowd, there is the idea that since humans are gregarious creatures, their thinking is influenced by groups. The more people in the group, the more they lose the ability to think for themselves.
Just like the "personal connections" thing, we don't need to be too entangled, and we don't have to think too much about it. You know, everything is good or bad, it is not accurate.
You think that the connections at the wine table are particularly important, so you desperately go to drink, desperately to give up your life to accompany the gentleman. The result? Leaving the wine table, you and he are strangers who have nothing to do with each other.
If you feel like you want to have a good relationship with your colleagues and some customers, you keep using your hot face to paste other people's cold butts, and you don't have any self-esteem at all. But do others really consider you a friend? Not necessarily.
Someone once said that everyday popularity is not true. Only popularity in times of crisis is precious.
As a person, there is no need to care too much about the so-called popularity, just go with the flow.
Those who mixed to the age of 50 and still have no popularity are mostly these people.
02
The first type of person: the one who comes alone.
In the Tang Dynasty, there was a poet immortal swordsman named Li Bai. Ten steps to kill a person, a thousand miles do not stay. The thing is whisked away, and the merit and name are hidden deeply. It is a portrayal of his life.
In Li Bai's life, he will never deliberately collude with others, nor will there be any group behavior. In his opinion, Ann can crush the brow and bend the waist of the magnate, which makes me unhappy.
A pen, a sword, a pot of wine, a dashing figure, is a brilliant epic of life.
In life, in fact, we can also become "alone" people like Li Bai. Even without his talent and open-mindedness, there must be the same yearning for freedom as he did.
When people reach fifty and still come and go alone, is it a good thing or a bad thing? On the surface, it is absolutely bad, and no friends is a portrayal of a person who mixes badly.
But why can't we look the other way around? The essence of solitude is to live for yourself, spend the rest of your life in a dashing manner, and do not care about the so-called popularity of the world.
03
The second type of person: people who have their own opinions.
Lao Chen was originally a person who liked to socialize. In the eyes of his colleagues, he is a social master. However, after he was middle-aged, he rarely interacted with the people around him, and the more he lived, the lonelier he became.
Colleagues are particularly puzzled, Lao Chen should not be such a person, is he transsexual?
Later, friends learned that it was not that Lao Chen did not want to socialize, but that he felt that letting himself be in a meaningless group life was worthless at all, and he did not even have his own opinion. Therefore, he chose to live alone.
The pursuit of opinion should be the choice of adults. As the Greek philosophers said – know yourself.
How do you know yourself? The best thing to do is to establish your own concept of "opinion", know what you should do and what you should not do, and no longer become an appendage of others.
How many people can not be appendages today? In fact, 80% of people are trapped in the group and may not be able to escape for a lifetime.
04
The third type of person: people who have their own pursuits.
When people reach the age of 50, what kind of life is best? The best life should be obedient to the heart, not against the original intention.
If you want to open a small shop to make money, then try, there is no need to tell others too much; you want to live a safe and stable little life, then don't overdraft your body, just live well.
On the other hand, modern people, when they see others making money, they rush to the past; when they see others doing this, they also blindly participate in it. Like these people, it's just leeks.
The so-called popularity may be the beginning of making us leeks. Just think, can your popularity really make you live well, and even help you when you are in danger?
It is a pity to say that the great calamity is flying separately, and this is the truth today.
When people reach middle age, they should be a person with their own pursuits, and they will do whatever they love, and they will follow their own intentions anyway. Life is hurried for decades, if you can't even live your own life, what is the point?
05
The fourth type of person: people with strong personalities.
In the jianghu, there is such a saying: "Personality is a luxury that will cause many people to lose a lot." ”
People without personality can format their personality, can do it with the flow, mix in the social field, meet the source left and right, and be at ease.
And a person with a particularly strong personality, on the contrary, has no friends, and no popularity will come to his side. At this time, loneliness and heterogeneity have become synonymous with them.
But loneliness is not a mistake, and heterogeneity is not a derogatory term. Just think, in this vulgar era, can you maintain a personality of yourself, is not a good thing?
People, do not change their personality for the sake of other people's eyes. The edges and corners can be smoothed out, and the arrogance can be approached to nothing, but the personality must still be stored in our hearts.
In fact, to be a person of ordinary personal popularity, cultivate your own personality, and live the rest of your life according to your own wishes, this is also a kind of great wisdom.
Wen/Shushan has deer