Recently, there is a topic that rushed to the hot search: how to look at girls with love brains.
Love brain, is now the Internet buzzword, refers to a love-first mode of thinking, put their own energy on feelings and lovers, and even willing to pay some price, in exchange for each other's love and companionship.
Female star Zhang Yuqi was once rated as a "love brain" by fans because of her performance in love, and she hated iron and steel. So why is the love brain attacked by so many people?
Because it makes us lose ourselves in our feelings.
01
"Women's procrastination, can not be said also"
Psychologist Dorothy Tennov once took 400 couples as a sample, asked them about their attitudes toward love, analyzed their diaries, and finally screened out a group of people who loved extremely, and took a name "limerence".
"Limerence" describes a unique state of love in which people tend to involuntarily desire and obsess over each other and be fascinated by each other.
That's what we now call the "love brain."
In general, such people will have the following characteristics:
Intrusive thinking: Seeing the other person as the whole world, feeling that the other party is encroaching on all of their brains, and only wanting to be with him all the time, even affecting normal life, abandoning careers and lives.
Gain and loss: easy to be anxious, easy to become unconfident, worried that the other party does not like themselves, worried that they will be abandoned, low to the dust. If there are "competitors" around lovers, they will arouse a strong sense of possessiveness.
Frustration attraction: When love is hindered, it makes them interdependent and more unable to extricate themselves. Once you break up, you feel the world collapse and even make extreme events that take your life or hurt each other.
This emotional relationship is distorted and unequal.
The formation of each person's emotional concept is often closely related to his growth background.
The 2004 Nobel Prize in Literature winner, the Austrian writer Elfrid Jellinek, wrote a brilliant novel, The Piano Teacher, which has a strong autobiographical color.
The novel is about a 40-year-old female piano teacher, Erica, who grew up under the supervision of her mother and has always been "a fish raised in her mother's amniotic fluid". Her art major was carefully chosen by her mother; her intercourse behavior, which her mother would send spies to strictly control; her rooms were not locked, and there were no secrets in her mother's place.
Erica, originally meant flowers in the wilderness. But this flower withered early.
But at a musical performance, Erica meets a boy in her twenties, Kramer, and is deeply attracted to each other. Filled with youthful ignorance and enthusiasm, Kramer awakens Erica's long-suppressed latent sexual consciousness.
Erica cared too much about Kramer, a fish like no water, biting him to death until it reached the point of psychopathy and madness. She imposed the shackles that her mother had brought upon her on the young boy, only to be subjected to frenzied revenge and sexual violence by Kramer.
Finally, as Erica walked out of her moldy room and walked toward the crowd in the sun, she saw Kramer happily holding a girl and laughing. With an indifferent expression, she stabbed the knife in her hand into her shoulder.
The world was unscathed, only she was immersed in blood, living in the pain of losing herself.
In fact, the ancestors warned us as early as in the Book of Poetry: "The delay of the soldiers can still be said." Women are procrastinating, not to be said. "Speaking" means getting rid of and getting rid of it.
In "The Piano Teacher", Jellinek gives the consequences of "women's delays, not to say anything". Women are always imprisoned in male discourse, and what she has to do is to expose the discipline and damage of this existence in the relationship between the sexes.
02
What happened to Nala after she left?
Of course, in many cases, people will be trapped in feelings and can't find themselves. Knowing that he was a scumbag, he still couldn't let go of him; knowing that it was not worth it, he still moths to the fire.
This is not only our individual "love brain", but also because the living state of the entire era is like this.
Similarly, Canadian writer Alice Monroe, winner of the 2013 Nobel Prize in Literature, wrote a novel about the growth of women, Escape.
The protagonist, Carla, was born into an ordinary family and her academic performance was very mediocre, which was used by her classmates to ridicule. But she didn't care about the eyes of the people around her, the only thing she wanted to do was live in the countryside and deal with animals.
At the age of 18, Carla fell in love with Clark, the coach of the Equestrian School. Despite her parents' objections, she resolutely eloped with Clark.
It was her first escape.
However, after fleeing, Carla did not live the happy life she imagined. Clark has a very traditional macho character, "he gets angry at her at all times." It's like how much I hate her in my heart." In Clark's opinion, "Is it still a man's man if you don't have a hot temper?" ”
Carla, who was about to be driven mad, began her second escape.
However, as she sat on the bus bound for Toronto and saw herself getting farther and farther away from her familiar home, and the scene around her getting stranger and stranger, her courage to face life alone was gradually swallowed up by the fear of the unknown.
Eventually, she chose to get out of the car and called Clark.
Arguably, Both of Carla's escapes failed. She wants to resist life, but there is nothing she can do; she wants to find herself, but she can't get out of it. Isn't this a reflection of each of our modern people?
So what else can we do to really escape this negative state?
A simple and effective way is to know yourself and the times in literature and reading. Only by looking far ahead and opening up the pattern will we not be confined to unnecessary worries, but have a clear mind and the ability to think independently.
In addition to getting rid of the "love brain", Douban Time in the latest online column "Speaking out in the name of literature and the times - a wonderful encounter with 15 Nobel Prize works", for everyone carefully selected a "classic in the classic" bibliography, around the "self and the times" for young women to face the various questions to give answers, such as:
How to break the shackles of gender?
How to face the trauma of the epidemic?
How to get rid of entertainment syndrome?
...
This is a literature class, but also a humanistic value system for constructing one's own world view and unique outlook on life, and we specially invited Daniel Zhang, a professor at the School of Humanities of Xi'an Jiaotong University and a visiting scholar in the Department of Comparative Literature of Harvard University, to make a unique novel and critical interpretation.
Professor Daniel Zhang focuses on modern and contemporary Chinese literature, modern and contemporary intellectual history and cultural research, and has published an academic monograph "Modernism: 1927-1937 Shanghai Culture and Literature Studies", and published many papers.
In "Speaking out in the Name of Literature and the Times- A Wonderful Encounter with 15 Nobel Prize Works", Mr. Daniel Zhang selected 15 works of 14 writers for us, and discussed them from 5 hot topics:
Analyze the present from the "epidemic";
Dismantling rationality from "technology";
Be wary of materialization from "consumption";
Learn respect from "gender";
Take the direction from the "future".
This literature class is not difficult or boring, it is more like listening to soothing music and savoring mellow coffee in a café, sharing our understanding of the world and exploring our true selves.