Because of the suspension of classes at home due to the epidemic, most parents have more time to spend with their children, and it is inevitable that communication will cause friction.
There is a saying in the "Strange Story" program that goes like this:
"The wounds of speaking are all dark wounds, with their own slow release effect, if no one wakes up, they will not know until they die."
There are no parents in the world who do not love their children, but they use the wrong language to express their good intentions, and they change their taste. It's probably hard for parents to realize how much your casual words will affect their children.
The following 6 sentences hurt the child the most, please don't say it again.
1. Why did I give birth to such a stupid child as you?
If you want to find a sentence that can immediately make the child inferior and uncomfortable, you must say this sentence.
When parents feel that "hate iron is not steel", it is easy to say this sentence.
When you accuse your child of being stupid, it is often the inner "child" who is robbing your rationality.
You treat your child as your own work. Unsightly, unfinished works will always make the people who make it angry, or even destroyed.
But is the child a work?
No, they are people like us—small bodies with a heart that craves understanding and respect.
2. I'm your mom and I say whatever I say!
When we go to school, when we clash with our parents' ideas, most parents use the traditional two sentences to suppress their children:
First, "I'm your dad, you have to listen to me!" ”
Second, "I've eaten more salt than you've ever walked." ”
Now, their signature words are: "What's wrong with my way of education, aren't you also educated by me, and don't you go to college?" ”
In this way of education, there is no equality, only orders.
Let this way of communication end from our generation!
Children should be respected, parents should support certain choices of children, if the child does something wrong, need to be patiently corrected, always saying this sentence is an irresponsible performance.
3. I'm all for your own good
This sentence should be the mantra of most parents, forcing children to do things they don't like, will say, I am all for your own good;
Put a lot of pressure on your child's study and life, and will say, I am all for your own good.
Never consider whether the child likes such a "good", this is a very typical feeling of good self, in the long run, the child will have a resistance psychology, turning a blind eye to your real good.
On a variety show, Yang Mi exposed his own concept of education, claiming that he would give his children their own space and would never say to his daughter, "We are all for your own good", and more of our parents should also remember.
4. You look at the children of xx family
This sentence is like a magic spell, every child is entangled in this sentence in the process of growing up, and they do not know what benefits other people's children give their parents, and why they can make their parents worship them so much.
Over time, other people's children become the fear of every child, feeling that they are worthless, and losing self-confidence.
5. Go away, can you make me quiet for a while
This sentence will make them feel that they are superfluous, resulting in an indescribable sense of loneliness. If you really want to be alone for a while, you can patiently explain to your child: I would love to be with you, but I am too busy now, please forgive me.
6. If you don't obey, you won't be wanted
Of all the fears, the most terrible thing for the child is abandonment. The "don't" from the mouth of the parents is undoubtedly a thunderbolt on a sunny day, which will make the child's sense of security collapse.
If the child is a little slower and does something wrong, wait for him. When the child is crying, don't threaten "don't him"
Just say to him: If you want to cry, you can cry for a while, and I will accompany you.
In fact, it is particularly understood that when the temper comes up, parents may not be able to control their mouths with the power of the flood.
Although they do not mean to hurt their children, what parents need to know is that once such language is spoken, it is difficult to collect, and the harm caused to the child is irreversible.
Someone said, "Good parents, they all have a zipper on their mouths." ”
Deeply.
Appreciate the child and tell him "you can do it"
Children who live in encouragement will definitely be sunny and confident. For children, whether there is talent or not is not the most important, what is important is interest and self-confidence. Encourage your child a little more, he will definitely do better than you think!
Speak well and start by listening
Only by listening to their children well can parents know their inner thoughts, so as to know the key to the problem, and finally guide their children well.
The family should not be a place of words. To allow children to have different voices, to allow children to have their own ideas.
What we need is not a child who obeys everything, but a child who understands things, argues right and wrong, and finally has an independent personality.
Some people say that after living for more than 30 years, it is very strange that many of the words that parents said to themselves when they were young have forgotten, but those words that are shocking, mocking, and sarcastic have become more and more difficult to let go with the years, like a scar, and occasionally it still hurts.
Our mouths are meant to express love, not to bring harm.
Parents who know how to speak well are the blessings of every child's life.
End