01
When I was young, I was afraid of being alone and liked to drown myself in the crowd.
As I grew older, slowly, I no longer liked to call friends and friends, and I no longer liked to push cups for cups.
Compared with the bustle of a group of people, I prefer the carnival of one person, and gradually understand that the more powerful people in their hearts, the more they like to be alone.
Zhuangzi said: "To go alone is to be unique." The unique person is the most precious. "It's loneliness that makes a person stand out, not gregarious.
In fact, people who come and go alone are often very powerful.
With others, we are always in a social state; only in solitude can we approach the state of nature.
Loneliness is self-direction towards oneself. When we don't have to be forced to talk to others, we have time to talk to ourselves.
Socializing can reflect a person's external value, but loneliness can shape a person's intrinsic value.
The super-plucked person achieves himself with loneliness and reaches the fullness of life.
When life begins to "change qualitatively", although there is a sense of suffering, but after surviving, it is to reach a new height.
02
Alone, the pattern is getting bigger and bigger, and there are fewer people who lose their temper
There is a passage in the Analects of Discourse, "The superior people have the ability to have no temper, the middle people have the ability to have a temper, and the inferior people have no ability to have a temper." ”
Tantrums are instinctive, and knowing how to control temper is the skill.
In life, people cannot live without temper, but temper cannot be random and often sent, otherwise it will not be worth much.
On the contrary, being able to enlarge your own pattern and control your temper is the performance of making yourself stronger and beginning to go uphill, because this shows that your level is high, and you are no longer entangled in many broken people and things, and even in the face of the slander of others, you can calmly deal with it, and focus on important people and things.
After all, people who are not at the same level as you, no matter how much you say, it is a waste of saliva, and no matter how big your temper is, you are only looking for guilt, just like an ugly saying: a dog bites you, you can't bite back.
Zeng Guofan said: A grumpy person, with a small temperament, wants to fight back immediately when something happens, so he can't hide a big plan in his chest. Small things do not need to be planned, but big things must be calm and relaxed, and there are many gaps in the chest, and no good temper cannot be done. So narrow down the temper and enlarge the pattern.
When you zoom in, lose your temper less, and start to spend time and energy on getting things done, on the people you make, then you will naturally start to get stronger.
03
Alone, no longer thinking about who to rely on.
There is a very popular saying, called: "The mountain will fall, and everyone will run", except for your parents, no one will help you without any care. But your parents will always grow old, no one will accompany you for a lifetime, you have to learn to grow up and become more independent. Learn to rely on yourself, you are the main force of life, the future is created by you.
When you rely on a person or a thing, you always think that it is a very safe strategy, but as everyone knows, the thing you rely on seems to be very powerful, but in fact, it is also facing many changes and changes. One day, a person or thing you think is powerful may also be on the verge of collapse.
But often in human nature, it is full of such a human weakness, that is: inflammatory attachment, clinging to the power.
Most people always think that those who are snobbish, can cover the sky with one hand, have a strong power, and are worth relying on themselves. But this is not the case, from an objective point of view, all people and things, there is no set-top.
Man, the most important thing is not to look at other people's faces, to bend over others, to wait for others' arrangements, but to take the initiative to do something. All suffering is faced on their own, and others cannot help it.
From childhood to adulthood, we were all afraid of being isolated, so we squeezed into the group and forced our faces. I thought I could get help, but I kept being left out in the cold.
Do a good job of social subtraction, there are fewer people coming and going, but they are really detached.
The best state is to develop in yourself, make yourself tough, and be your own backer.
04
Being alone is a sign that a person has become mature and stable.
In the eyes of many people, the sign of a person's maturity lies in the growth of age. But this view is too one-sided. Everyone has the instinct to seek advantage and avoid harm.
Some people, even though they have started a family, still lack independence in their thoughts and actions. Just like Su Mingcheng in the popular drama "All Is Good", although he has been married for many years, he still acts like a child who has not grown up, and has no sense of responsibility and no responsibility when things happen.
But some people are already able to take good care of themselves and their families at a young age. Just like Chen Nian in the movie "Young You", she was bullied into calling her mother, she wanted to seek comfort, and finally heard that her mother's situation was more difficult, and she became the person who comforted her mother.
There is a saying in "Cai Gen Tan": "You can't be too harsh on villains, but it is difficult for evil people." ”
It is not difficult to be harsh and harsh on the little people with unhealthy hearts, but it is not difficult not to hate them; it is not difficult to treat gentlemen with high moral character, it is not difficult to respect them, it is difficult to observe proper etiquette.
The attitude towards villains is very strict, it is not difficult to do, do not resent them, but also often give help, it is difficult to do.
In fact, as long as others do not reach the point of unforgivable evil, they can still be saved. This is the thinking of "going against the grain" and the greatest tolerance of being a human being.
In fact, mature people have long seen through the essence of life, and they can integrate into the collective or walk alone. Even if some behaviors are not understood, they are still the same as ever.
As Charlie Munger said, "Take the wisdom of the world and adjust your behavior accordingly." Even if your maverick makes you unpopular in the crowd... Then let them go. ”
Why stare at the ugliness of others and forget the beauty of others?
The solitary person does not follow the crowd, does not like others - hates villains. His behavior, somewhat offbeat, became more and more precious.
05
Alone, it is you who grit your teeth in silence.
Wang Guozhen's poem "Mountains High and Long" has such a saying: There is no mountain higher than a person, and there is no road longer than a foot. For each of us, we have chosen the road under our feet, as long as we are willing to persist, we will one day be able to see the scenery at the end.
Don't care how much you have endured, go on, only to see the glory, the road you choose, kneeling will also be finished.
Guo Degang, who founded the Deyun Society, is now in full swing, and even went to foreign countries to open a cross-talk, but this was not the case more than a decade ago.
When Guo Degang entered Beijing three times, it can be said that he was humiliated and tasted all the heartache, and in his early years, he just wanted to beg for a bite of food, but he was left unattended, and he also had the experience of walking in the middle of the night on the Second Ring Road penniless. It can be said that the pain in it, although it is difficult for outsiders, the point revealed has been lamented.
But he did not give up, he still insisted on his own path, so he had later success, and only then did he have the status he has now, and regardless of whether Guo Degang's cross-talk art is elegant or vulgar, he has indeed made a great contribution to the inheritance of cross-talk.
If you don't have such a belief, then there is no way for others to try to pull you along.
What's more, someone accompanies you on a journey, and no one has ever accompanied you for a lifetime. The parents who love you the most will take the first step, and the people who say they love you will not grow old on the same day of the same month of the same year.
The writer Mu Xin, a life of ups and downs, he was in prison, did not forget to read and write, but also drew a black and white keyboard, elegantly playing and singing.
What is the bitterness of life? What's the fun? Some are "pleasure in suffering."
He wrote in His Notes from Prison: "What does happiness really look like?" Like Cézanne's paintings, happiness is a stroke of the pen..."
Walking alone in pain, looking very lonely, but life has been sublimated.
In this life, what can change one's fate is only one's own hands, not social.
06
Conclusion.
Every member of the family is very motivated and motivated. Family atmosphere, harmony and happiness. Everything is full of positive energy, which is the most prominent manifestation of a family's uphill journey.
In short, if a family, a family or a country wants to go uphill, it must give everyone hope, so that they can see that through their own struggle and hard work, they can live the life they want!
The quality of life is not to eat and drink with others, nor is it the luxury in the family, but to live a lifetime of rough tea and light rice, to come quietly, to move forward quietly, and to harvest quietly.
In an impetuous and restless society, living as a clear stream, even if it is a lonely fang, can enjoy itself.
Of course, being alone is not escaping from reality, but looking down on the prosperity of life, returning to life itself, not thinking about the past, not afraid of the future.
The uphill road of life is not only the increase of wealth and the improvement of the family, but more importantly, the fullness of the heart and the peace of mind. The quality of life is not to eat and drink with others, nor to the luxury of family, but to simply live, come silently, move forward silently, and harvest silently. In this impetuous world, being a clear stream, even if it is narcissistic, is also a kind of enjoyment.